What You Need Me to Be

"When shit hits the fan," "when we get lost in the woods," "when we're drowning in 2 feet of water," "when we're walking through hell," crying on the bathroom floor, throwing things and punching the walls, wishing we would never wake up, emotionally suicide, etc. etc. etc. Basically, when we're all FUCKED UP, we each have our own ways of dealing with it.

Some shut themselves off. Some run in circles. Some fuck the pain away. Some gain weight. Some lose weight. Some turn into alcoholics. Some lose sleep. Some cry, and cry, and cry until they run out of tears and their eyes begin to burn. Some panic. Some hold it all in. Some are emotional cutters. Some start going to the gym. Some can't shut the fuck up. Some find Jesus. Some find yoga. Some dig themselves a deeper hole and find a comfortable nook in it to live in. Some ask for help. Some refuse it. Yet some, do absolutely nothing because one wrong turn, or one sudden movement may shatter what's left of their heart to pieces.

And when the people that love you see you like this, sometimes we freak the fuck out because we want to be perfect for you. But we don't know how to show that we care without making you feel like you need to be cared for. Because we don't think we're good enough right now to make you happy. Because we were JUST in that dark place so who the fuck are we to shed some light on the subject? Because some of us are still there. Because you don't need our help. Because you are stronger than we could even dream to be. Because we're tired of you taking out on us, the pain they caused you. Because we don't want to say the wrong thing but we don't want you to think we forgot just because we don't say anything at all.

So tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it. Tell me who you need me to be and I'll be her. Tell me where you want me to go and I'll be there. Better yet, can I pick the destination and can you come too? Because all I want is to be there for you like you were there for me.

Inspired by this and this aaand a convo I had with my GBFF