She Said, She Said - All Star Edition

[13:18] Girl 1: is he any good?
[13:18] Girl 2: i didn't watch enough
[13:18] Girl 2: but
[13:18] Girl 2: he has better D than O
[13:18] Girl 2: HAH.
[13:18] Girl 2: he WOULD have good D
[13:19] Girl 1: i'd take good O over good D, any day. lol
[13:20] Girl 2: LMAO
[13:20] Girl 2: touche!
[13:21] Girl 1: and we're still talking about basketball right? lol
[13:21] Girl 2: we were talking about basketball?
[13:21] Girl 1: LMFAO!

She Said, She Said

[14:50] Girl 1: but yeah..that's hard
[14:50] Girl 1: "that's what she said"
[14:50] Girl 2: well i can feel it coming right now but im not quite there yet
[14:51] Girl 2: lmao thats what she said too!
[14:51] Girl 2: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[14:51] Girl 1: LMAOOOOO

He Said, She Said

her: ugh, my body is sore all over
him: i don't want to know
her: but i can't figure out if my thighs are sore from lunges or reverse cowgirl
him: lmao wowwwwwwww

---------------------------

him: what are you talking about? penises are ugly
him: vaginas are beautiful
her: HELL NO
him: i just want to lay in a bed of vaginas
her: STOP
him: and doggy paddle my way through them
her: lmao grosssssssssssssss

Vagina Monologues

"Last night I masturbated to porn starring a guy that looked just like him. THIS IS ALL BAD. Same facial structure, same body type. Even their fucking penis was the same size. I swear my vagina hopped in my car and drove to his house. I HAD A FUCKING OUT OF VAGINA EXPERIENCE. I believe it's still there right now. Remind me to call a cab for it later 'cuz it would be too risky if I went and picked it up myself."

LMAO, this bitch.

She Said, She Said - The Lips Have Spoken

[09:54] girl 1: he kisses really good
[09:54] girl 1: FML
[09:54] girl 2: omggggggggg
[09:54] girl 2: did your clit clap?
[09:54] girl 1: girl it standing ovay'd

She Said, She Said - Fireworks

Her: LOL, still holding that candle?

Me: Yes, I hold a FIRE for that guy

She Said, She Said - Sexless in the City

[10:19] B: i have a story to tell u, its so embarrassing
[10:25] B: OK so i was sposed to wake up early this morning
[10:25] B: but i didnt cuz i was too tired
[10:25] B: because i slept late
[10:25] B: u know why?
[10:25] A: whyyyyy
[10:26] B: i was trying to find my orgasm till like 2am
[10:26] B: i was so angry lmao
[10:26] A: omg
[10:26] A: HAHAHAHAHAA
[10:26] A: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA
[10:26] B: i had to break out the purple happy face at about 1:45 cuz i was like "yo. vagina. i need to fucking go to bed"
[10:26] A: dude i give up after awhile.
[10:27] A: like if i can't find it
[10:27] B: i was tryna picture pyt, viva la sexy, EVERYONE
[10:27] A: i'm liike FUCKING FORGET IT
[10:27] B: IT DIDNT WORK
[10:27] A: I HATE MY VAGINA, I HATE IT!
[10:27] A: lmao
[10:27] B: and then i felt so ashamed
[10:27] A: sometimes i think the bats in there ate my orgasm
[10:27] A: LOL.
[10:27] B: like really woman? really? u were late this morning cuz u stayed up all night MASTURBATING???!!!!!
[10:27] B: only fat greasy hairy ugly men do that
[10:28] B: u hate ur vagina, and my vagina hates me lol
[10:28] A: LMFAO
[10:28] A: LISTEN TO US
[10:28] A: I SWEAR TO GOD.
[10:28] B: i wanna blog about this but ummm
[10:28] B: maybe ill pretend like i get laid instead
[10:28] B: WAIT WHY DO I HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE GETTING LAID I SHUD BE GETTING PIPE LIKE FUCKING MARIO BROTHERS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[10:30] A: LAJKSDFLKASJDFLAKSDFJALSDKF

He Said, She Said - The Randomness

him: should i just come by and swoop u up? where u wanna go?

me: ummm, where u feel like eating? downtown or elsewhere?

him: downtown is coo

me: k, i guess just come thru wen ur off

him: let's just do somethin by union square

me: aiiiiite

me: btw, i have a mannequin with me lmao

him: lol WTF

me: i bought it in the ghetto from sum dude that lives in a truck and has a dog

him: U R FUCKING RANDOM

me: i'm hella laughing in my cubicle 'cuz it sounds like such a lie but it's so true

mama ain't neva lie!

EXHAUSTED.

And now I'm sick. Once the body aches and chills go away, I should be be able to post more than just music videos, and pictures. In the mean time, just another regular conversation between me and one of my girls ...

[14:08] her: So I was bout to get frustrated with *** today
[14:08] me: for why?
[14:08] her: He sleeps over so much but we'll only have sex like once a week.
[14:10] me: really?
[14:10] me: does he even try?
[14:10] me: do u try?
[14:10] her: Iono if he tries. If he does he's not aggressive enough!
[14:17] me: but yah that's weird. 1 week of sleeping over and only sex once? i'd be gettin it in AT LEAST once a day
[14:18] her: I'mma tell *** it's mandatory if he sleeps over.
[14:19] me: I agree, make him sign a contract
[14:19] me: or charge him dick at the door

He Said, She Said

[09:58] him: hey i got a random ass question
[09:58] him: kinda shy to ask cuz its definitely tmi
[09:58] him: dare i ask?
[15:11] me: ask away
[15:48] him: what feels better
[15:48] him: clitorial or g spot stimulation
[15:48] me: gspot
[15:48] me: theyre so different
[15:49] me: clitoral is easier to obtain though
[15:49] me: but its short lived
[15:49] me: but if u can get both at the SAME TIME
[15:49] me: the clouds will part, the sun will shine, and rainbows will appear
[15:52] him: HAHA
[15:52] him: ur a nut
[15:52] me: i'm just sayin ...

Ladies, do you agree?