Monday, May 31, 2010

Life is Good

This 3-day weekend couldn't have been any shorter, but I guess that's what happens when you're having fun. Friday kicked it with moms and the bff at the lobsterfest of all lobsterfests. I swear I didn't even like lobster, and I didn't. Until I tried it in garlic butter, chipotle butter, and jalepeno butter. I swear I could've been eating crayons and it not matter, flavored butter makes everything taste good. Checked into the Westinn SFO right after and laid now for my 7am wakeup call the next day.
After a rainy week, Saturday morning was a blessing. Woke up to a beautiful view and an even more beautiful bride. Congrats Joey and Dee and thanks for making me a part of this momentous occasion! Shots shots shots shots shots all day and more pics to come. Thnx Charrie for making me beautiful. She can do the same for you: Check her out at Be Bella Artistry.
Watched SATC2 on a Sunday afternoon then took a 30 min nap that turned into 3 hours. Really didn't feel like going out that night but wanted to take advantage of having Monday off so I saw the lovely ladies and gents of Dubb at Pearl in SJ. Here's Ferl, me, and Nic. Love the Ballesteros ladies!
Rach, Michelle, Nikki, and moi in front of the VIP booth that smelled like straight ass, yack, and feet. WTF.
This pic pretty much sums up the night - A BIG BLUR lol.
Hope everyone had an awesome weekend. Amidst the bbqs and keg stands, UFC fights, and camping, don't forget to take a second outta your day to think of the reason why we're off to begin with. Mad love and respect to our fallen soldiers and those who fight for us so tha we don't have to. Hopefully I'll be sober, and well rested enough to post a blog that doesn't consist of just pictures later womp.

Friday, May 28, 2010


Ugh. I'm so tired. I'm not even gonna fix that. Between catching up at work, looking for a new job, wedding rehearsal, and adjusting back to PST I have no brain power to write a substantial post today so instead I'll leave yall with this as RT'd from Rev Run:

"Haters: Keep your words sweet and tender ... TOMMOROW YOU MIGHT HAVE TO EAT EM"

But what if I want them to choke on that shit? LOL.

Anyway, TGIF yall. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'd be excited for mine if I wasn't so sleepy.


I swear this kid goes to sleep at night thinking of ways to out-cute himself in the morning.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I'm A Peeeeeeeeeemp

Best believe you can be one too.

How do you deal with heartbreak? I feel like I’m running in circles…

"Stop running. Get used to the pain and learn to walk with a limp. Once you got it down pat, limp with your head held high, and you’ll look like a pimp, like a person who’s seen some things, and been through some things, but only came out of those things stronger than they were before."~Jozen

And no, I wasn't the one that asked the question. Running in circles ain't my style. I'm one to just lay there and drown lol.

27 on the 27th!

The first time I met the homie Karl he saved me from dancing with some short, drunk, non-rhythmic dude at the club, and he's pretty much been saving my ass ever since. The second time we met I thought his name was Carlo and I asked for his ssn#, shoe size, and mothers maiden name because I didn't trust him with our fundraiser cash box in his trunk. I've come to learn that he's one of my most trust-worthy friends yet. Happy birthday to my road dog Chau, the only German/Ching-Ching I know that's more Filipino than me.

Don't Believe the Hype

Yesterday the homie tweeted a message that had the internets going NUTS:

"Wingstop is now open in Daly City"

And just like that trumpets sounded, fireworks went off, unicorns came out of hiding, and Jesus momentarily stopped crying (it was sunny in SF despite reports of rain). 'Cuz in my opinion, Wingstop >>> Hooters any day. A 10-piece combo meal consisting of 6 garlic parmesan and 4 lemon pepper wings with a coke, potato salad, and veggie sticks with ranch sauce was JUST what I needed to remind myself of why my abs aren't as crackin as they were a year ago.

So the retweets began. At one point there was 4 in a row in less than a minute. I then proceeded to post it on Facebook, to which I got a dozen responses. One phone call, 2 texts, 5 instant messages, and an email later, I was ready to GO IN. And then, the homie tweeted another message that sent my heart (and stomach) to a screeching hault:

"Sorry, Wingstop is NOT open yet. I repeat, Wingstop is NOT open"

And just like that my world came crashing down. As if it was the first time someone told me Santa Claus wasn't real (He's not right?). At the same time, my homie FB'd me saying that he called Wingstop and the Daly City location wouldn't be open until December. Dee-fucking-Cember?! UGH, see yall at Hooters I guess.

But in between my over-exagerated groans of disappointment over something as silly as chicken wings, I learned a very important lesson: DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE. I thought it was funny how quickly the Wingstop rumor spread. Like a mufuckin epidemic and shit. And it ain't my boys fault either, he was just tryna pass the wealth along (and let's be real here, it wasn't THAT big of a deal to start an all out investigation on prior to tweeting). But everyone including myself went along with it and blew that shit up as if we received the news from the mayor of Daly City or president of Wingstop himself.

It's just another reminder as to why you shouldn't believe every single thing you hear. Don't assume, ASK. Otherwise, you'll end up looking like a dumb ass aimlessly wandering around the parking lot of Westlake Shopping Center looking for chicken wings.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

On to the nEXt One

While I wouldn't exactly call myself a pessimist, I definitely have a hard time staying positive in the face of opposition. This does not mean I won't push forward and rise above it successfully, it just means I'll do it with a big cloud over my head until I finally see the light. This is true especially when it comes to relationships. But over time, I've come to (almost force myself to) learn that it's not a loss if you've found yourself. It's not a waste of time if you take things day by day. And most of all, it's not a failure if you've learned from it.

I refuse to be my past or let anybody else define me, but I give credit where credits due. And if it wasn't for some of the men in my past, I wouldn't be a better woman for the next one. More importantly, I wouldn't be a better woman for myself.

'Cuz HE let me know that love is a 2-way street and about give and take. HE made me realize that I do like slow dancing in parking lots and watching meteor showers while laying on the beach. HE let me know that I CAN love again. HE let me know that a relationship without intimacy is just friendship, while HE let me know I can't have intimacy without a relationship. HE taught me to say what I mean, mean what I say, and to be careful of the way I say it. And HE taught me that compromise doesn't mean throwing away your principles - it means being considerate of the other persons feelings. THEY taught me to be unselfish, romantic, and humble.

So when I break you off some to get your transmission fixed because you don't get paid until the 15th, when I pack you home made chicken adobo for lunch and stick a little post-it with a smiley face on your tupperware because I know how long your days are at work, and when I lower my voice, swallow my pride, and tell you I'm sorry because I know I haven't been as appreciative or considerate as I should be - don't thank me. Thank my exes.

Inspired by Man to the Next Man

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Congratulations Gayson!

Ever so Dearest Gayson,

It seems like only yesterday me and your coconut headed ass were hiding under the sink from Rolley. And now rickys not "adorable lil ricky anymore" and your once irresponsible ass is finally a murse! We don't get emo very often, nor do we see each other as much but I still love you like a bro, and am proud of you like a real sister would be. Congratulations, get buss, then go moi moi and all that good kine stuff lol. Sorry I couldn't make it, but I'll definitely be singing at your wedding :)

Ate Abi

Playing Catch Up

Fuck. No wonder I'm not getting any work done. And who am I kidding? My screen looks like this EVERYDAY lol.

Public Enemy #1

When I was in high school, one of my best friends got into her very first fight with her boyfriend. I was there when they first met, I was the first to know they were official, and the first she called and screamed to when the DEED WAS DONE. Naturally, I was the first person they wah'd to when they were frustrated with each other.

So there I am, stuck in the middle with my angry homegirl pacing back and forth next to me and her man talkin my right ear off on the phone. I forget what started the fight, but I do remember ultimately ending it. I told her to stop being so unreasonable and him to stop provoking her.

Sure, my girl was pissed at me for a good 13 mins 'cuz I sided with the enemy but I told her that if I went in biased, nothing would ever get resolved ... and they probably wouldn't be getting married this Saturday (about fucking time yall! lol).

Yet, despite my objectivity and genuine concern for the well being and happiness of my folks, growing up I was always public enemy #1 to most of my girls boyfriends. Always thought to be a cock blocker just because I didn't roll over and die when shit hit the fan. Considered a "hater" 'cuz I saw something wrong with my girls boyfriend having cyber sex with his ex and wasn't afraid to call it how I saw it. *BLANK FUCKING STARE* I've learned to mind my own biniss when it comes to my friends relationships but if I'm asked, I'm telling - straight with no chaser. So if you don't want to be called a douche, don't act like one.

'Cuz what you don't see is me checking my girl when she's being impossibly ridiculous. You're not there when I'm playing devil's advocate and pointing out all the possible angles of a situation when she's convinced it's all your fault. You're not there when I know my girl dun fucked up and I'm letting her know. You don't see me pulling down her skirt when she's sloppy at the club and it's riding up for all the boys to see. You're not there when I'm giving her the side-eye for being overly "friendly" with the guy that likes her at work. And you don't hear me when I say, "He's a good guy. He loves you. Be honest with him," etc. etc. etc.

Girls like me aren't the enemy. We're just not on your side. But we're not on her side either. We're on love and respects side. Because really? We don't want our girl to break up with you. We don't even want our girl single. We just want her HAPPY, and so should you.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Protect This House

This has been one of my favorite commercials since it came out. And not not just 'cuz of the face GSP makes in :37. I've always loved sports related commercials like the NBA's "Where Amazing Happens" series. They're always so inspirational, make a bitch wanna climb a mountain for no fucking reason and shit. And what do us ladies get? Tampon commercials that try to convince us that being on our rag is all sunshine, roses, and butterflies. GTFOH, the last thing I wanna do while using a tampon is wear a bikini and do yoga poses on the beach.

Speaking of sports, I leave for 2 weeks and the Giants lose 5 in a row? Gah, not leaving again 'till the seasons over!

Back on my Grizzy

I know I been sleepin on the posts, but jet-lag is a BITCH.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

"There is No Strong Beer, Only Weak Men"

But this sure gives me a run for my money.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Thicker Than Water

Growing up being an only child is not as promising as it sounds. You have no one to sneak out the house with, no one to share the blame when you get caught, and no one to help you hold the door closed when your mother's on the other side of it with a slipper ready to beat your ass into next year. I envied all my friends who had siblings, even during those times when their little brother would steal their diary and read it over dinner. I mean, I wanted a sister who'd get mad at me for borrowing her clothes and not returning it too dammit!

But after seeing how hard it was for my mom to leave her brother at the Aquino airport the other day - I take it back. Because seeing the tears stream down from underneath her Tory Burch aviators as she hugged him good-bye reminded me of how she wasn't able to say good-bye to her other brother when he passed away from brain cancer a few years ago.

It's true - I have attachment issues. I hate good-byes, and I try not to allow myself to get close to anyone 'cuz I'm like a bad Filipino telenovela when they're gone. This applies to all family members, friends, and even dogs, birds, turtles, closets, shoes, automobiles, and sometimes electronics. I cried when I had to break up with my ex-boyfriends dog and said sorry outloud to my cell phone when I dropped it for the very first time. It's true - I also have issues lol.

About 2 weeks ago, I met my half siblings for the very first time. There's 14 year old Amber, 16 year old Elijah, 25 year old Raily, and Kaye who I'm older than by a few months. And as I watched Kaye and Raily playfully argue over directions to the bar we were going to, and noticed that Elijah would pull out my chair for me every time I sat down, I couldn't help but think, "So this is (kinda) what it's like to be a big sister?"

But after seeing how hard (although of course rewarding) it is to be a good role to a pretty, head strong, 14 year-old - I take it back. Because, I remember how I was when I was 14. And although I was well behaved compared to most, I didn't want to listen to anybody. I thought I knew it all. Now more than 10 years later, I still don't know it all and probably never will. I don't want to have to be the older sister that tells her this. At the same time, I don't want to be the older sister that sits back and watches her make the same mistakes I did because that's the only real way to learn about life.

Caring for people, especially when they're blood - is scary. I almost wish that I didn't see my grandparents, 'cuz it just makes me miss them THAT much more.

So you can have your brother sister pictures and elaborate family outings. You can attend their graduations and send them off to college afterwards, with hugs all around but tears in your eyes. You can whisper in your sisters ear "everything will be ok," after her first heartbreak, and you tell your brother "see you in a year" when he gets deployed to Afghanistan. I'll be here. Applauding you for being so brave. Admiring from afar ... alone.

Not because I don't care, but because I care TOO much.

Thursday, May 20, 2010


I probably should've told yall that I'll be back in 2 weeks.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Don't You Know I'm Loca?

I've never went off on my man 'cuz he was out with his boys and forgot to call 'cuz usually I'd be out with mine having too much fun to remember. And the ONE time I went through my dude's phone - well what do you know, I dun found something. So I'm just gonna say that don't count.

I've never had an overnight stakeout at my exes or "accidentally" showed up at the same place they were at. Hell, I don't even cock-block or talk shit (5 years ago would've been a different story though). BUT that don't mean I don't get loca. I'll be the first to admit that I've been one to mix my birth control with my crazy-pills more than once. Just ask any of my girls:

Her: He's going to call you today
Me: No he's not, he hates me
Her: He does not hate you, watch before you get off work he's going to call
Me: I'm convinced I turned him off and he doesn't like me anymore and I'm never going to talk to him again
Her: Helloooo???
Me: Hold on, he's calling me *moded face*
Her: OMFG. Tell me you're seeing him tomorrow?
Me: Huh? Oh, I said I'd call him back
Her: kajsdflkjsdlfjsdf

I PROMISE the only reason I said I'd all back was because I was really busy at work. But I apologize for my crazy nevertheless. Perhaps Jozen Cummings, the blogger I love to hate (only 'cuz he's so fucking good) said it best when he delivered this gem to all my future (ex)boyfriends lol:

To read the rest of Man to the Next man click here, and trust me, man or woman you want to read it. I'm inspired to write a Woman to Next Woman post, or maybe I'll just write one about my cray-cray, hmmm ...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means you’re two steps ahead."~Unknown

Rough Draft

FML I got a lot of work to do. And that's only the first page.
Thank God for the automatic post option.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Hi Hater

::Editor's Note:: Yesterday was the first day here in PI where I didn't do shit all day except for eat, shit, and sleep. So in between doing that, I managed to finish up 3 old blogs including this one. Hopefully it'll hold yall down 'till I get back!

“Count your joys instead of your woes. Count your friends instead of your foes.”~Irish Proverb

I get asked a lot about “haters,” and one would think that as many as I’ve had and still have, that I’d be immune to it. Afterall, “If you ain’t getting hated on, you ain’t doing shit.” But while that quote rings true, and many embrace and even welcome their haters – I do not. I stand guard with a pistol at my waist and a sign that says, “Enter at your own risk.” So you Kat Williams enthusiasts can surely have some of my haters. If you don’t think my hair is luxurious (when you know it is) just mind your own damn business and keep my name out your mouf.peace. Thnx.

I won’t lie. Sometimes that shit is just hurtful. But it’s not so much hurtful as it is ANNOYING. Only ‘cuz the ones that talk the MOST shit are always the ones that have no fucking idea what’s going on. For instance, I’m over here reading the comments on a story about Cheryl Burke and Ocho Cinco, and you would think these folks actually knew them or something.

“Cheryl Burke is a thirsty ho/stuck up bitch/skank/slut/and every synonym of the word.”

“Ocho Cinco has stds.”

“I don’t know who the bigger attention whore is.”

And while those statements may in fact be true (‘cuz I for one can’t find ANY reason why these 2 gorgeous human beings wouldn’t be boinking each other) I just find it hard to believe that commenter #7 aka “Thin in the waist and pretty in the face” really knows the personal lives of Chad and Cheryl. Get the fuck outta here.

Like I said, haters are annoying but what’s even more annoying is seeing one relish in a response from you. So as cliché as it sounds and as hard as it may be – ignore them. ‘Cuz the more time you spend acknowledging your haters, the less time you spend doing YOU.

And as much as people like to dedicate their accomplishments to their haters, as a public display of their resilience to them, (which is totally understandable) I personally wouldn't suggest it. It’s not that I wouldn't mind slapping a hater upside the head with a big old, "IN YOUR FUCKING FACE ASSHOLE!", it's just that I like to accomplish goals for MYSELF. And I'd like to succeed as a testament to the people in my life who LOVE me, not HATE me.

Remember, as many haters as you have, you have even more people that LOVE you.

P.S. If they really start to get to you and you start to question your self-worth, just think about it. If you're really all the horrible things they say about you, what does that make them if they can't stop talking about you?

It's Just a Little Crush

My newfound overseas crushes.
Malaysian Balikbayan, Carmen Soo.
And my tall glass of taho, Derek Ramsay. Mmm Sarap! LMAO.


"If you are going through hell, keep going"~Winston Churchill

People ask me how I did it.

I still wonder how I did it.

But if you knew that you were <--this--> close to being invincible, wouldn't you hang in there a while longer?

If someone told you that all you had to do was get over this one. last. hump. in order to become bulletproof, I promise you would've done the same.

I didn't know how long it would take. And at one point - (ok many points) I didn't think it would happen at all. But I knew that if it did, it wouldn't be the result of anything monumental. I always knew it would be random. ALWAYS. It was probably the only thing I was sure of.

Then one Saturday afternoon while I was getting my hair done, it happened. Just like that. As if the hair bleach sunk into my skin, infiltrated my blood, and took over my brain. I don't know if it was the girl I used to be coming back from the dead to slap me into my next lifetime for shaming her ass, Angela Basset's character from Waiting to Exhale, or the Holy Ghost itself - but someone or something possessed me to do something so normal it felt abnormal. A gesture, that although insignificant to the rest of the normal world, had me traumatized for months.

So I did it. And for about 4.7 seconds I forgot to breathe. I even felt slight anxiety in the pit of my stomach. But .1 seconds later it was over. The anxiety was gone. And I let out an almost undefeated sigh of relief. Pshhh, that's all you got?

It felt quite liberating if I do say so myself. Enlightenment in its most simplest form. In layman's terms: It felt awesome. But like they say, "It's gonna hurt when it heals too."

Which is perfect.

'Cuz although I never and will never experience it again, I never want to forget how it felt either. Those who forget are either in denial, or have become heartless. Looking back, I realize that I wasn't quite that girl just yet, and a dead giveaway was "that girls" cocky attitude. Now, I choose to remember to humble myself and others. "Without the sour, the sweet ain't as sweet" right? The last time I had a cup of coffee I had 7 packets of sugar to go along with it. True story. I LOVE THE SWEET.

So how do you do it you ask? (And a lot of you do.) Unfortunately, my answer is still the same: I don't know. You just do.

You'll be weary at first. Defiant. Impossible. Stubborn. Discouraged. Frustrated. All of the above and then some. But what if I told you you're <--this--> close to being invincible? That just over that hump in the distance, is a bulletproof YOU? It will be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to go through in life. But I promise that there is close to nothing that will ever be as painful ever again.

"Damaged people are dangerous, they know they can survive."~Josephine Hart

Monday, May 10, 2010

Game Recognize Game

::Editor's Note:: I've found that the Philippines is actually the perfect place to blog. In the mornings it's too hot to go out and I can't seem to wake up any later than 7am anyway, so I find myself doing a lot of writing. It's given me the perfect opportunity to finish some of my drafted blogs including this one. So it looks like I'll be posting periodically in an attempt to un-bore the masses. I also wanted to say that every blog I write can apply to the opposite sex, it's just that I write from my own perspective (duh). Just wanted to clarify that I don't think only men cheat and women get their heartbroken. We all play our parts. OK, the end.

Game Recognize Game

" the Bay mayne."

If there's anything that makes me *smh* more than a female being totally oblivious to getting played, it's when a dude thinks he's running game on a chick ... when in fact the bitch ain't even playing. She's watching on the bleachers with an overpriced beer and garlic fries observing and laughing with the rest of 'em.

In an old Dear Abi post, I talked about how I had relations with this one dude and took a shower at his house one night to find a gang of feminine products in his bathroom. Skintimate shave gel, a pink razor, fruity smelling bodywash, the works. The only thing missing was a nekkid woman in his tub ... which I'm sure was there not too long before I was anyway. If he had a girlfriend, I knew she didn’t live with him, but he definitely had someone more than a friend that was a girl over his house that wasn't me.

So did I storm outta there hair half lathered up with shampoo screaming like a crazy woman? Of course not. I just shook my head, thought to myself "This guy ...," smiled, used some of that fruity smelling bodywash (thnx girl whoever you were lol), and then walked my sexy ass calmly outta the bathroom and said, "Damn, you got more girly toiletries than I do." To which he replied: "Oh, my sister stopped by."

*blank stare*

And that's all it took for me to stop taking the dude seriously. Whenever I see him he still tries to run the same old *walks outside to answer a phone call at 1am and comes back 20 mins later* to go out of his way to say, "That was my boys crazy wife looking for him" when nobody in the room even noticed he left. Boy please.

This ain’t Pandora, but I SEE YOU. We see you. But we won’t be seeing you for long. And we ain’t mad either. We just want you to know that WE KNOW. Don’t worry, your secrets safe with us. Just remember that when we wink at you and then chuckle afterwards, it’s not because we’re flirting – it’s because we’re laughing inside but still think you’re cute and don’t want you so far outta our lives that we can’t check you out anymore.

Just ‘cuz we refuse to play the game, it doesn’t mean we haven’t been studying it while on the sidelines. It's Fantasy Baseball baby, and while only in our fantasies do we imagine us together as a sexy, power-couple, in reality - your plays are way too predictable and you're not even on our roster.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Dear Mama,

(Had to sneak one in for Mother's Day while in the Mother Land)

I remember shopping for a Mother’s Day card last year with my friend at Target. While he and the rest of America scrambled for the sweetest Hallmark greeting, I stayed back and let them wrestle each other feeling a slight tinge of envy. I wanted a mom who took care of me when I was sick, who made me home cooked meals, who gave me money to buy school supplies - you know a mom who acted LIKE A MOM.

My friend ended up with a card that played New Kids on the Block’s “Hangin Tough,” when you opened it, which I found very appropriate for his mom. She was amazing, and when the going got tough – the tough got Frances. Meanwhile, I sorted through card after card after card trying to find the perfect one. It was between, “Mom, Can’t live with you – can’t shoot you,” and, “Mom, Even though you were never there for me growing up, your boyfriends came first, and we got into a fist fight – you’re still my mom so I guess I love you anyway.”

I ended up with the most generic card they had, short and simple – “Happy Mother’s Day.” That’s it. Because in reality, our relationship had been anything but simple.

I could write an epic novel about all the arguments we had but let's just say we got into a fist fight once, and another time I didn't talk to her for a year although we lived in the same apartment. But that was then.

This is now.

I started this post exactly a year ago and it has remained in my drafts box ever since, unfinished. But that was before we started to get along. Back before she would email me pictures of her latest celebrity crush (The most recent one is Jake Pavelco of The Bachelor), and before I would call her on my lunch break just because I was bored. Before I would visit her on the weekends and I finally felt comfortable drinking alcohol in front of her lol. Before she would leave me Facebook messages about how proud she is of me, and before I would tell her to text me when she got home so I knew she made it there safely. And before she was my rock during probably the most difficult time in my entire life.

Needless to say, a lot has changed.

It’s too late to rewind the hands of time and make up for years lost. But it’s never too late to be the person you’ve always wanted to be, to be the mother you never had, or the daughter you always wanted. I think about the relationship my mom and me had when I was growing up, and even though it was dysfunctional, it was better than the relationship we didn’t have. I have friends who barely talk to their moms, or can’t remember the last time they told them, “I love you.” My mom on the other hand tells me she loves me and then follows it up with a peace sign, a head nod, a "Worrrrrd," and a skee skirt from her car as she peels out in front of my house. *SMH*

With all the craziness in the days leading up to my trip to the Philippines I forgot to buy a mother’s day card this year, but if I did, it would most likely have said:

“Happy Mother’s Day … to my very best friend.”

Short and simple - That’s it. Although in case you couldn’t tell, our relationship is anything but simple.

Happy Mother’s Day to all those who inspire me to be a better woman, all those who came before you, and especially to those who have to play the role of both mommy and daddy so that their little girl/boy will never have to do the same.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Can't Keep Running Away

Ever since my Bikram membership expired, I've had to painstakingly resort back to the *dun*dun*dun* gym. And it's not that I don't like going, because I love going. It's just that I'm not very affluent with the different machines and exercises I should be doing and prefer going with a partner. You know a real one, not one that just goes and gossips with you while you're on the treadmill lol.

So lately I've been doing a lot of running instead. Typically, I meet up with friends at the lake, but since it's been so gorgeous these past few days I've taken advantage of running at the beach. I never used to be a fan of running. Matter of fact, I hated it. But I've grown to love the feeling of your calves burning when you run up a hill, and the sound your feet makes as it hits the pavement (btw I need new running shoes 'cuz these Trunners ain't the biniss). There's just something about feeling the wind whiz by your ears and being so focused that your heartbeat and breathing drown out even the music coming from your Ipod.

And then there's the ocean. The sun. The breeze. The sand. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to live in this city. Sure, it's not a tropical island sunset but it's the best sunset on the West Coast and yes, I'm totally being biased lol. During my last beach run it was too windy to run on the sand. Actually, I ate sand for half a block before finally saying, "Fuck all this shit," and crossed the street. But yesterday? It was perfect.

I can't run as much as I'd like because I'm not really tryna do too much cardio. Not running to lose weight, just to stay in shape. And more importantly, to stay in mental shape and keep my chi in check. You can't keep running away from all the noise and stress. You can only run towards your goals. And one of mine is just a beach run away. Have a surprise for yall :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Just What the Doctor Ordered

LMAO. Thanks doc.
Cured just in the nick of time. *WHEW*

The Sweetest Thing

I never quite understood the concept of "wanting your cake and eating it too." I mean, why the fuck wouldn't I want to eat my fucking cake? If I didn't want it, I would've never walked my happy ass to the buffet table, took a slice, and plopped it on my dessert plate next to the creme brulee, chocolate covered strawberries, bread pudding, green tea and azuki bean panna cotta, and banana flambe (what? i'm hungry, don't judge me!).

Cake is yummy, is it not? But the thing about cake is - it's fucking bad for you. It sits there on a pedastal getting oogled at looking all handsome and shit next to the bran muffins that nobody wants or even notices. And while your ass shouldn't even be in the damn patisserie 'cuz you already know its bad for you, you're still in there tasting cakes and cookies and drinking frozen hot chocolate. Bitch, don't you know you're supposed to be staying away from all of that? You should know better!

And of course you do. But you just can't help yourself. Even though you know you should be next door at Trader Joe's stocking up on Vita-Coco, apples, and granola or something. But cake just makes it sooo easy for you to like it. Afterall, you should know. You're one mighty fine piece of Red Velvet yourself. So you understand, and you ain't mad. You've gotten rid of worse habits before so getting rid of this one should be ... well a piece of cake.

But damn, why this piece gotta be so damn delicious?

Manifest Destiny

"I ain't played the cards I was dealt, I changed my cards.
I prayed to the skies and I changed my stars"~Kanye West, Last Call

I used to think me and my first love were destined to be together. Because for 11 years we lived 1 block away from each other. For 10 years, we attended the same church where we unknowingly checked each other out. For 8 years, he was friends with my cousin who I lived with. And for 6 years, we slept over the same neighborhood baby-sitters house but never ran into each other.

It wasn't until that 11th year that we finally met. We didn't hit it off right away. Matter of fact, we stopped talking for about a month. Until one day, I saw a Pizza Hut commercial about bread sticks that reminded me of him and I called him up. The rest as they say, is history.

I used to think that there was a reason we didn't meet until that 11th year. That had we met earlier, we would'nt have lasted as long as we did. But then that would that mean it was predetermined for that Pizza Hut commercial to air when it did and that ultimately, bread sticks were responsible for the next 10 years of my love life?

I highly doubt it.

But movies like Only You and books like The Celestine Prophecy have us pondering about coincidences that are too much of a coincidence to be JUST a coincidence. Some people believe everything happens for a reason. Some people create their own destiny. Yet others say fate takes you to a certain extent and then it is up to you what you want to happen from there.

What do I believe? I believe that "What you see is what you get, for every cause there's an effect." Our current state is a direct result of the decisions we've made earlier in our lives, whether it was made years, months, days, or even minutes ago. And that ultimately, shit just happens! Maybe I'm jaded, but I truly believe that everything I have (and don't have) right now, I have because I WORKED HARD (or didn't work hard enough) for it. It doesn't have to be so complicated. A person pushes a fly whip 'cuz they saved up the funds, orrrrr their parents are rich. Either way, unless a comet named Mercedes CL550 landed on someone's old Civic right after they inherited money and just as they were trying to figure out what kinda new car to get - the cosmos had nothing to do with it.

It's not being cynical, it's being realistic. I love Serendipity type endings, but while you're sitting there looking at the stars, waiting for them to align, you might miss the one right in front of your face. You can sit there and wait for shit to happen, or you can make shit happen. It's like that Abraham Lincoln quote, "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." If fate and karma and all that other woompty-woomp are for real? Well, then it must be my destiny to hustle. And if not, at least I'll be doing something productive while waiting for fate to take place.

Sunday, May 2, 2010


"Yes you want her. Look at her you know you do.
Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her.
It don't take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la my oh my look at your boy too shy,
He ain't gonna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, you gonna miss the girl"
This was always my favorite scene in The Little Mermaid.

Hair Tied, Sweat Pants, Chillin With No Makeup On

Just got home and did what most normal people do at 4:30am, wash my face, change into my jammies - and then opened up Photo Booth lol. I wasn't even up this late the last time I went to Vegas (for shame). The worst part is I'm not even sleepy. Probably because I didn't drink, but if you had 5 shots of Goose back to back and then a beer like I had last night, you wouldn't have either.

Lots of reasons to celebrate this weekend. No one got a promotion or had a baby. No one got married or graduated college. Just feeling very blessed to have wonderful people in my life. Today over a dessert so good it made me turn into a fob, "That's coconuts good!" I almost cried from laughing so hard. The MOST inside jokes were made. "Girls - 1. Joe - 0," "ohs. ohs." "Don't forgets my waters backs!" "Err. err. erray." It's little moments like these that leave such a big impact in your life.

I hope everyone had as good of a weekend as I did. Now let's see if I actually get up to run in a few hours ...