A wise woman once told me, "Being too independent can cause loneliness."
And although what she said is absolutely true and these words still haunt me 'till this very day ... I've always felt missunderstood. I've never felt that I was too good to be in love, and I've never pushed someone away just to make a point. So just to reiterate and clear up a common misconception about me, I'm recycling an excerpt from an old post I wrote entitled Miss Understood.
"Thanks to Ne-Yo and Webbie, Miss Independent's are seen as women who can handle their own, like to front the bill, and don't need help from men. They push Benz's, have $10k+ credit card limits, and got a mortgage to pay. Unfortunately, that's not me. Nice goal to work towards though. But in my case, I'm sinply - Miss Understood.
So let me break it down one last time:I am a hopeless romantic. I am utterly inspired by the thought of being being in love with someone ala Bella and Edward, I'm just sayin love urself too. I believe in catering to ur man because they deserve it. And treating him like a King because u are his Queen. I don't want to wear the pants in the relationship. I want to be able to wear a mini-skirt without my man threatening to break up with me because of it.
SO DON'T GET IT TWISTED.
I may ask for alone time, but that doesn't mean I don't want u in my life.
I may want to have girl days, but u'd be the only man I spend my nights with.
I may deny ur help sometimes, but I am still more than grateful that u offered.
I may not be afraid to speak my mind, but I won't be afraid to tell you I love you either.
And I may not need u in my life, but what matters is I want u to be."
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5 comments:
man I wish I could put into words the feelings I have just the way you did for this post. That was really deep stuff, and I think every girl who is really really in love with her man, feels that way. You become the most selfish, but then again the most selfless person when you are in a true relationship, and I think that's what makes it work and balances everything out. Amazing stuff.
well said. you were able to express thoughts that I try to convey to so many of my male and female friends. My ability to be strong for myself and to handle my bizness does not mean that I am unbale or unwilling to allow a man to come in my life and be my rock.
I love the line: "And I may not need u in my life, but what matters is I want u to be."
@soulfuldelight - thank you :) it's all about balance. and honestly, i think u have to be selfish with urself before u can ever be selfless to another.
@sweet tea - exactly! many men AND women misinterpret independence as being cold, or bitter, etc. etc. it's a shame.
and that's my favorite line out of the entire piece!
you write alot but does it reflect how you really feel? i know its cool to write and have peopleback you but your actions spreak differently, try to seem like everything is ok and all but your not, try to write positive things but inside you know your lying to yourself? do you ever feel this way? honestly cus i know that i do sometimes
@anonymous - are you referring to this piece specifically or in general? either way the answer is - OF COURSE! i can be happy as a clam, but watch a show that reminds me of a dark place in my life and write about that because the show triggered that memory. some of my posts are referring to things that happened YEARS ago, and some just yesterday.
the thing is, what i write, whether it's happy or sad, doesn't always necessarily reflect how i feel right at that very moment. however, it's definitely something i feel wholeheartedly.
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