Hate That I Love You

Most people can't wait to hate a person, in hopes that the anger they feel will replace the pain. In hopes that eventually, the hatred will replace the love. So they think of each and every fucked up situation the other person put them through. Every hurtful word that came out of their mouths, and the times when they should've said something but walked away instead. They search, and search. For something. Anything that will stop them from wanting to drown in a sea of their own tears and instead start using a picture of their face for target practice.

And this works for most people. But I am not most people. And "hating" someone, even if they deserve it, takes up too much energy. You are giving that person more credit than they deserve.

So I say, look forward to loving that person instead. In hopes that the love will replace the pain. In hopes that eventually, love will replace every ill-feeling you painstakingly held in your heart. Until it no longer hurts you to love them, until it no longer kills you to miss them. Until you can think about him or her and be thankful for, instead of regretful of the time you had together. Until you are no longer numb, but instead - indifferent.

And I know you're not ready right now. You're still holding onto that rock in the middle of the ocean when all the people who love you are back at shore waving, and cheering for you to swim on over. And I know you're still angry, as you have every right to be. All of that is perfectly fine. But just know that for every minute you spend attempting to hate someone, is a minute you could've spent loving someone else - that someone else being yourself. 'Cuz like they say, "It's easy to hate, but it takes courage to love." And when you finally let go of that rock and decide to swim back to shore - you'll realize you are one of the most courageous people you'll ever meet.

You'll also realize that that ocean was only 3 feet deep.