Thursday, March 11, 2010

Loose Lips Sink Ships

For many years I pondered the significance of balancing a healthy relationship along with the friendships I hold sacred to me. Until one day my girl made the point that friendships are relationships. And when u think about the time, love, and effort u invest to cultivate them, it's rather obvious. Yet for some reason, relationships involving crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc., always seem to take precedence over the relationships we have with friends and family.

I see it happen all the time. Girl and guy fight. Guy all of a sudden wants to kick it with the boys. Girl and guy make up. Boys never see guy again. Orrr guy lies to girl repeatedly but girl always takes guy back. Girl's girl lies to her once. Girl and girl never talk again. Or some variation of above. And although these are circumstances that occur more often than not, the fact that most are so quick to discredit their friends and family before anything or anyone else - never ceases to amaze, nor perplex me.

Sometimes we hurt the people that love us the most, and allow the peole who we love the most to hurt us. Almost as if it's not the rule, but the exception. Almost, as if it's ok. I believe this is partly because we know or we expect that they will always be there for us. And if they're really our friends and really our fam-bam, they will be. However, this notion should never justify the way we treat people. Especially the people who were there before, during, in between, and after every failed relationship. Nobody's love should ever be taken advantage of.

We're on ur side when we tell u we just want to see u happy. I'M IN UR CORNER.

I've always been one to place my friendships, and I mean my real friendships next to if not above my relationships when appropriate. But sometimes, because the bonds we share with our friends (who really are our the brothers and sisters we get to choose for ourselves ) are so deep, they hurt twice as bad when severed. The pain and betrayal is too unbearable to simply overlook, and unfortunately, the friendship is lost. It's life. It happens.

We're stubborn and we're prideful. But if we can bend for our boyfriends and swallow our pride for our girlfriends - then we should be able to do the same for the friends who we once thought of as our family.

So although things will never be the same again, nor would I want them to be. If you're reading this (I've actually asked around for your email address but apparently you change it as much as I change my phone # lol), I want you to know that although I have chosen to love you from afar - I still love you nevertheless. I think about your well-being all the time, and wish nothing but the best for you.

Ur little flauta


cataLin0 said...

Chuuuuch... oh, and aww ;)

The HI Life said...

gosh. you did it once again ma. my best friend and I just fell out because I wasn't being so involved with our relationship..but rather i was involved too much with my work and school..and threfore, she walked out..but at the same time..i feel like thats a easy cop out because its not like I ever betrayed her trust nor heart. but i guess the saying is true.."the people that dont really matter will eventually fade out?"..i don't know..but i sure miss the girl though. :/

michelle said...

definitely needed this post! i can relate to it very much right now. thank you dearly, that's coming from the heart. i truly appreciate your posts :-)

i hope you don't mind i repost this on my blog, don't trip, i'll give you credit where credit is due.

Mouf.Peace said...

cat - shuttup lol

hi life - yah it's a fine line. sometimes we get caught up, both sides should be understanding. but what i've found is usually, real friends will always be there at the end.

michelle - ur welcome. i don't mind at all. thanks for crediting me.

and i just wanted to share one of my favorite pieces that someone else wrote with everyone else. it's for the friends that start to become toxic and u just have to let go even though u love them.

monike said...

omg i feel like youre my other half but who can write. LOL! i love your blog & this entry just hit the spot ~as usual~ haha. hope you dont mind if i repost with creds. :]