Wednesday, January 27, 2010

First for Everything

There are a lot of important "firsts." First time u fell in love, first time u got into a fight, first time u got wasted, first time u smoked weed, etc. etc. the list goes on. But perhaps the most memorable (or least memorable for some lol) is the first time u had s-e-x.

When I think about my first time, I can't help but consider myself very lucky.

I was 17 at the time (or 16?), and honestly I'm surprised I lasted that long. In middle school I had dated experienced dudes way older than me. I was sneaking outta the house to go to theirs and coming back before the sun came up (parents I hope this teaches u to lock ur daughters in their room at nite lol). And high school half-days meant spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven sessions. Needless to say, I had put myself in many situations where having sex seemed inetivable but never happened. Shit, lemme pat myself on the back right quick.

It wasn't until I had reunited with an old friend from middle school (who we shall call "Jay") that I considered taking the plunge. I have no idea what it was about him either. I had been with dudes waaay cuter, but for some reason I was just really attracted to this guy with dreadlocks, tattoos, and multiple piercings that wore only Earth tones, and smelled like nag champa. He was sooo not my typical East Coast Tims wearing or Bay Area blunt rolling, SF beanie sportin type. But. BUT. He was so smooth on that spiritual Dead Prez "Mind Sex" tip and he had the most amazing, cut, arms that Jedi-mind slid my panties off everytime I'd sleep over. Suckerrrrr. GO FUCKING FIGURE.

Anyway, the night I lost my virginity to him I had gotten dropped off by some friends to his house after watching Toy Story on Ice (i think) Not even 5 minutes there, his pager starts blowing up and he says, "I'll be right back." After at least half an hour later, he comes back and I find out his ex-girlfriend was outside and they were arguing over some other booshit. Of course I was like "WTF?" but obviously it didn't bother me too much 'cuz we still had sex that night. And when I mean sex, I mean it in the most insignificant, technical way. Sometimes, I even count our encounter as a 1/2 on my list of "How many people have u slept with?" 'Cuz on the real (do people even say that still?) he stuck it in once, pulled it out, and then I made him stop.

I'm an asshole huh? LOL. The only reason I even count it, was 'cuz he had let me know later on that I bled on his sheets. It didn't hurt, it was just uncomfortable. And the only reason I stopped wasn't because he was probably still banging his ex-girlfriend. I stopped because I felt guilty. Guilty that I was losing my virginity to this dude, who wasn't even my man, who I didn't even remotely love. But this is why I feel extremely lucky.

Because in my opinion, I feel that had I lost my virginity to someone I thought I loved, it would've been that much harder for me when we broke up. And I most likely would've been tramautized for a while. I'm not telling u guys that losing ur virginity is overrated and to lose it to someone u don't care about to protect ur heart ... I'm just sayin. It worked out for me, because the next guy I was with ended up being my first love, and the sex we had definitely didn't count as no "1/2".

So unfortunately I don't have this amazing story about the first time I lost my virginity. 'Cuz really, the best way I can describe it is with this annecdote: "If I were a house, he broke into me. But nothing was stolen." Not my heart, nor my peace of mind. It's one of the very few things I regret in life.

Although now that I think about it? Damn, I should've let him finish lol.

So come on, now it's your turn. Share your first time if u dare. U can comment on here anonymously with a fake email address, or if ur that shy leave it on my Formspring!

16 comments:

DJ CMC said...

humm...lemme get nostolgic:
lemme explain why im not so shure who was my first. previous to me stickin my "filthy dick" in some girls tomato, i received numerous blow jobs and hand jobs in high school. mind you, i went to a catholic school, girls were freaks. but only got down if u were their BF...which i never was. constalation prize? hand jobs maybe even a full bj.

i want to say my first was my first gf in college. lets call her Latrice.
when i first met her, she said. i dont think me and you would make a great couple, were just friends. but i charmed my way into those panties like a wolf dressed up as lil red riding hoods grandma! she her religion also prevented her from smashin pre-marital style. but its amazing what some simple words will do for a chick.
down to the nitty gritty.
AWKWARD! like a muthafucka. im all expecting to pound it out like some dough, as i have seen in the many hours of porn that i logged in. noo!!
im not a fan of condoms, still not, but hit it rawr! scarred the shit outta me. it was mostly nerve rackin at the point than romantic or any bullshit like that.
it was missionary, althought i tried to flip her for a rear entry.
no crying, no talkin after, no cuddling. nada!
too much pressure...we did it a few more times after that, but it seemed like a task more than fun...
sad to say the relationship ended after that...for other reasons.
my advice...practice makes perfect!

all awkward...no fun, but someone had to be the first...kinda glad it was her

Naeva said...

Lmfao at both firsts. My first was with my best friend in college. I wanted more and thought he wanted more too but he just wanted to hit. It was long and boring (the sex, not his dick lol) but I moaned and everything to make him think he was doing something. It was all missionary...he tried to get me to do some other positions but I wasn't having it lol. I got off the bed and fell straight to the floor hahahaha. Then we spent the next few hours playing poker, drinking, and having a water fight.
Oddly enough, our friendship prevailed (through hella ups and downs...and a couple more sexcapades). I used to hate the fact that he was my first because he DID break my heart but afterwards it was a pretty fun time lol.

themaykazine said...

OMG, my first was a halfsie, too! ::high five:: ;)

Vegas Mary said...

i can't believe this post is up! HAHA. nonetheless... i'll share with you my frist time. haha

18yo. summer after high school. it was with my first love. we became official after 1 year of talking/dating. so it was totally special.

BUT!!!!....

i really don't know what is the first time. haha. i know i know it should be pretty obvious.

Well... the so called "1/2 time" happened in his pathfinder. parked somewhere in waikiki by the beach. he first used his finger(s) and i think the tip. but i started to bleed. we stopped cuz we didnt want to get his car dirty. haha.

first "full" real time was at my dorm at the university the follwoing week. no guests were allowed so i sneaked him in. it lasted 45 minutes. no joke.

the end.

Lexii said...

Okay so my first time was also a 1/2 time! I was 16 and it was with my boyfriend of 3 months. So i thinks that's what made super awkward. Oh and us being in his friend's bed didn't help matters either lol!
So the reason why it was a 1/2 was because that shit hurt TOO much! I remember jerking away as soon as he put the tip in!! Haha he was so pissed, but i didn't care because it was totally not worth the pain!
So we didn't try again until like 6 months later. I'll never forget it.. It was on the last day of my soph year. He came over because my parents were still at work. We did it for like 20-30 minutes. And thank God it didn't feel like the last time!
I'm not gonna lie, it was still a little awkward after but i absolutely don't regret losing my virginity to him only because i love and trust him.
So there you have it ladies and gents! LMFAO!

Mouf.Peace said...

cmc - i love ur make believe name "LATRICE"

naeva - damn to make it even more awkward u had to go and fall off the bed lmao!

mayka - woot for halfsies!

vegas mary - 45 minutes on the FIRST time? SHIT. i barely get 45 minutes on the regular lol

lexi - "just the tip, just the tip," how many times have women heard that? haha

i love how u guys are all sharing ur firsts, this is awesome!

LoveLove said...

hahah. damn.
I swear its funny how you are writing about firsts.
cause for me..it was with my first love and we lost our virginity to each other. lol. shiiiieet.. i was 15 at the time. we lasted for 2 1/2 years.

weird was that after we broke up we never talked to each other for 5 years. and just yesterday..as im writing this..he tried to add me on fb. and we ended up catching up on the phone..weird! lol. i swear abi, you are my sister from another mister..jedi-ing my mind. lol.

小巨蛋 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jan said...

um I just want to know where have you been miss. you like disappeared from FB a way that I only know how to connect with your ass hahahahaha I just now realize maybe i should bug her on her blog! haha so where u been?

Mouf.Peace said...

love - aw so pretty much he was ur first everything :) glad it worked out for u and whoah i promise i'm not reading ur diary or anything lol

jan - yaaaaah. i haven't been on there for a month. kinda traumatized by it lol. i'll be on soon enough though. for now, yes i'm always blogging so i'll always check this! miss u trick.

ReptarParker said...

I can't remember every part of it because i've done well to forcibly forget it but I was 17 and she was 16. It was in london and a family friend from italy was over and her daughter was a friend in school. They had planned to stay in our house (the mom, daughter, and two sons) right before spring break and leave from our house. We ended up kissing right after watching "Bringing Down The House" with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah (romantic right?).

We all left with our families to enjoy spring break and she showed up at my house a week later, total surprise. Needless to say I had an instant boner when she told me she was staying again, but this time the sleeping arrangements were different. I had a bunk bed with my little bro in my room and her 15 year old stayed on top, she slept on bottom and I slept on the floor. It wasn't before long that we stopped pretending to be asleep and we kissed/had conversation for a few hours before we mutually/awkwardly agreed in the silence that we were going to do it. I remember being a total fucking dumbass because I couldn't find it but in my defense, she wouldn't let me touch it so...how the fuck am I supposed to position it right? Whatever. I found it eventually, did it, skeeted on the sleeping bag because I had did it with no condom. I thank the lord everyday that nothing bad came out of that. No STD's, no baby, no nothin! Stupidest/scariest decision of my life even though I was lucky to not have any repercussions. We did it while her 15 year old brother was in the top bunk which im convinced to this day that he knows because I tried to say whatup to him on several occasions after that and he never responded. In person, xanga, myspace, nothin. But in his defense, if you heard a guy fuck your sister while you were in the room, would you talk to that guy? Didn't think so. But that's not even the fucked up part lol.

ReptarParker said...

For some reason, i thought she was lying about her being a virgin. I don't know why, it just felt too natural for her (says the guy who had never had sex before). And I got so nervous that I thought a swollen lymph node I had was an STD. I just told my mom that i wanted to to go because i had no idea why it was swollen. The doctor asks me "Are you sexually active" and I say "No". I dont know why, it was just reaction. Then she says "So you've never done it?" and then I say "Oh well yeah just the once but I dont do it now" What the fuck does she do? That bitch told my mom that she needed to have a talk with me about sex. *Middle finger to whoever she is. So I have to my mom about that, she finds out we did it in the house while everyone was home... if that shit isn't your worst nightmare in high school. The tests come back, I'm negative for everything and that swollen lymph node was because I had a cut on my leg. ALL THAT FOR A FUCKING CUT ON MY LEG. But the test didn't come back till after school was over so I didn't know for the rest of the school year if I had anything and that was the reason I never talked to that girl at school for the rest of the year (like a month) because I still thought she was a liar. She tried talking to me too. I just ignored the fuck outta her. Then, on the last day of school, I had a spanish final which was a class she was not in. But what happens? She "randomly" wants to come sit in that class because she was done with her finals. Towards the end of the class, she walks by and puts a sticky note on my desk: "You just hit it and quit it, what the fuck?" I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. Then I just crumbled that shit up, threw it in the garbage, and left class. I was such a prick. But in my defense, I thought she was lying and maybe had given me something so that's why I ignored her. I never would have been that mean if I wasn't a dumbass. But it remains to be the meanest thing i've ever done in my life and I didn't even have to be that way because absolutely nothing happened to us.

Fuck. That was my first time and only time before my current girlfriend and we didn't get together till I was 20. That shit traumatized sex for me. I didn't even try to have sex for those 3 years. So my first time + me being totally paranoid = horrible. lol.

This blog makes me want to divulge personal information all the time. Dammit Abi *shakes fist

Anonymous said...

long time lurker, first time comment. i forgot how i found your blog, but i don't know you in real life. i really like your honest writing style. thanks for keepin it real. anyways, my story is not as exciting as the others. it's more the heartbreak one. my first was his first, and i was 19, in college. we had just started dating, and he was someone i trusted. he was actually my first serious boyfriend too. long story short we fell in love, and i was with him for 5 years of my life. yes, 19-24 ish. then one day he woke up and said he wanted to travel the world and find himself. literally. he left. i cried. i grew up. he tried to come back. i had changed. he left about 4 years ago, and i haven't seen him since. i only had a few postcards from way back when . but that's the thing about postcards. it's one-way correspondence. he could say anything on that postcard and i couldn't talk back. when i look back, i don't regret what i gave away. i always look back with an out-of-body experience. that girl was me in a another time/chapter in my life. today i'm different. i'm happy.

ReptarParker said...

OH MY GOSH. I had no idea I wrote that much. Holy shit. I feel ashamed. lol

Genesis said...

I lost mine last may lol @19, I waited so long for it to be special but I got annoyed that I didnt know what sex was like. Coincidentally I gots me a man late april, we were makin out in his car in front of his house and he goes we dont have to if you dont want to. I thought about it for a sec and said to myself..."if not now then when? man up, grow some balls and do it" so before he spoke another word I started unbuttoning my jeans, took em off and got on top of him. It was a good pain. One I wish I could feel all over again. Its like that burn off some good liquor.

Anyway I dumped him a month later lol he sucked @fucking

lana said...

My first time was with one of my best friends. But one day we hung out and ended up in his room, lights off.. and just hooked up but didn't have sex.

Our hookups continued, and then BAM! after a couple of times, it happened. We were eachothers firsts. imma sound like the slut in your 4th period whose conversations you eavesdrop on, but the size of that thing. HOT DAMN. I remembered I called one of my girlfriends who knew there was somethin goin on, and told her EVERYTHING. You could probably hear me down the street yelling "THAT SHIT WAS HUGE!"

After we had sex, we didn't get together but we continued to "talk". But we are now together and it's been months! We love eachother, don't mind my sounding like a mushy bitch, ha. I might have lost it a little early, but in all honesty, I don't regret a thing. Comes to show that not ALL sexual experiences end in a bad way.