Friday, October 30, 2009

Fashion Friday - Looking Good

Let's face is, Megan Fox would look good wearing a potato-sack and Birkenstocks. OK maybe not, but she's hot as hell and as soon as I saw this dress I thought of her. Very dark and vampy but still glamorous. The shoes are fucking sex. And helloooo the McQueen skull earrings to subtly match her clutch? Suicidal. And of course u gotta top it all off with a touch of red! Perfect for the red carpet.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


UPDATE: I am about to fucking sue Stub Hub or somebody if I don't get refunded for these bogus ass tickets.

Got me and Ness's Lady Ga-Ga tickets in the mail today and I cannot wait! Say I won't wear my blonde wig to the concert

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Blame Game

One of the things I can't stand is when a person plays the blame game. Granted, there are things u just can't control. Like missing ur best friends wedding because ur stuffed animals magically came to life and are holding u for hostage. Or forgetting to pick up ur girlfriend 'cuz Megan Fox's car battery died right in front of ur house and she needed u to jump her - I mean her car. Shit happens, it's understandable. The bus was late, there was traffic, the dog ate my homework. But on a much larger scale - there's just some shit that is never excusable.

I believe the first few years of a persons life on Earth are their most impressionable. While ur upbringing doesn't necessarily predict ur future - I do believe it leaves a big impact on it. A study I did in college on porn stars showed that over 50% of them were raped or molested as a child/teenager. Many serial murderers showed early signs of their ways by torturing and killing small animals as a kid. And it's unfortunately not uncommon that most child abusers were abused as children themselves.

If u grew up in a household where ur father beat ur mother for years and years before she did anything about it, I can definitely see how u as a child can think this type of behavior is acceptable. Especially if there is no one else around u to tell u otherwise. I can also see how as a grown-up u might continue this awful cycle with ur significant other, because for the longest time u didn't know any better. BUT THIS DOES NOT, WILL NOT, AND WILL NEVER JUSTIFY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Hate to break it to u.

People don't live in caves or under rocks. It shouldn't take a person that long to figure out that raping someone or beating up a pregnant woman or hitting ur boyfriend just because he didn't pick u up on time is wrong. Once a person recognizes a flaw in their lifestyle or personality, it's now their turn to take responsibility for their actions, take control of their life, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Yah they can point fingers at the past or their surroundings but that shit has an expiration date. U gets no sympathy from me after that, because the pity speeches start to sound old.

Today, I was denied Invisalign. Not because my teeth were too fucked up, but because I didn't have the money to front what the insurance and care credit wouldn't. And for the first time in a loooooooooong time, shit maybe even EVER - I pulled out the "past" card. Yall don't understand. I hate doing that. I hate when other people do that too. But today, as I left the dentist office more than embarassed (especially since the receptionist was a friend of mine) I had to fight away tears. "If my parents were together I bet I would've had them as a kid already," "My sorry excuse for a father should be paying for this shit. It's the least he could do. But nooo he's a fucking loser," "I wish my mom had cared enough about me when I was a child to have taken care of this early on and SAVED FOR IT." Braces, school supplies, prescription eyeglasses, shit, citizenship - these aren't wants like a Fendi wallet or new Cadillac CTS are, they're needs. In case u couldn't tell, this blog is about so much more than braces.

I could cry and complain all day about how unfair it was that while my friends parents bought them cars or paid for their school or rent, or hell cooked them dinner everyday - I had a fist fight with mine, didn't talk to her for an entire year while living in the same apt., worked before I was even old enough to obtain a workers permit, missed an opportunity to go to an accreditted high school because someone FORGOT to submit my application letter, and can count how many home cooked meals I've had on one hand BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. But like I said earlier - that shit gets old. I'm getting irritated at myself for just bringing it up. That's why instead of depriving my kids of things and saying, "I didn't have it when I was young so stop complaining," I'm going to give them everything I never had and then some (granted they deserve it of course). And to be real cut throat about the situation, I'm a grown ass woman, I should have enough saved up to buy them braces my damn self!

See, every one loves to play the victim but they never really want to actually be a victim. So pls adhere to thsoe pity story expiration dates, no matter how good of a story they are and how many tears they bring to people's eyes. 'Cuz Oprah Winfrey and Chris Gardner had all the reasons in the world to be violent drug addicts, but yall know how their "sob stories" ended.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Ga Ga for Ga-Ga

Now that I no longer go-go I can finally celebrate Halloween like "normal" girls and appreciate it for what it is: A reason for chicks to dress up slutty and not get shit for it. So this year, I along with everybody and they mama am going to be Lady Ga-Ga. I want to take a picture with every single other Ga-Ga I see 'cuz I'm sure there will be plenty but I don't care! I'm a firm believer in doing something or buying something regardless of how many other people have already done it or have it - AS LONG AS U GENUINELY LOVE IT. Who fucking cares? If u've been loving a pair of shoes but automatically toss it just 'cuz the next person has it UR LAME. LAME LAME LAME. Anyway, I was also considering Jem but I stuck with Ga-Ga 'cuz it's what I wanted to be originally, I love her, and because I already own most of this shit lol. All I need to do now is make my "disco stick" and bling out my sunglasses. Hoping that making my Halloween accessories won't be more fun than Halloween night itself :o/ What's everybody else going to be?!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Word is Bond

"People would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them."~Harold Smith

Friday, October 23, 2009

Fashion Friday - Jet Settin

*Le Sigh* It's been a while since I've done one of these. Polyvore oh how I miss thee.

I know people usually want to be comfy when traveling but when the flight's only 1 hour long all u really have to do is pack some flip-flops IF need be and ur good. Le-sigh, if I were a rich girl la la la la la la la. This is the outfit I'd be wearing to L.A. next month. However, I'd unbutton the vest, might get too cluttered otherwise. And of course those are Hellz leggings, duh!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Women's Best

Better than a pair of classic, red soled, patent leather Christian Louboutins. More grand dior than ur favorite Louie Vuitton purse. And even more quintessential than this seasons dangling, feather earrings - a womens best accesory is her gay.

For years, women have flocked to gay bars and tagged along to gay events. We tune in every week for Glee and all wish we had a "Will" of our very own. And for years men have wondered WHY? Why are the gays so lucky? Why do women prance around half naked in front of them so comfortably as if they were alone? Why do they let them hump them on the dance floor? Why do they let them touch their boobs? Why do they sleep in the same bed and cuddle with them like it's nothing? Why do gay men and straight women sometimes kiss? Why do women love the gays so much?

I'll tell u why.

1) They are hilarious. Not that there aren't some hysterically funny straight men out there. Jamie Foxx, Jim Carey, Will Ferrel, Katt Williams, Jo Koy - I mean helloooooo?! But I swear there is something magical in a gays fruity pebbles that allows them to say the same exact thing one person says yet make it 1,000 times funnier. Besides, they can get away with saying waaay more things than a straight man can say. 'Cuz if a straight man said, "Man I made him cum so hard he looked like Emily Rose bending over backwards to grab onto the headboard," well, they'd just sound gay.

2) They're fun. When a gay comes out they come out, and not just outta the closet either. If u go to a club trying to spot a gay, I'd say look for the one dude smiling, drunk, and mmmaybe with his shirt off dancing in the middle of 4 hot chicks. 4 hot chicks whom he can all outdance. Perhaps it's due to years of oppression that gays feel the need to liberate themselves to the highest extent. Or perhaps it's the fact that most of them make decent to good money, aren't married, and have no kids that fuels them to go hard or go home (pun intended). Whatever it is, I have yet to meet a boring gay at a party.

3) They're the BEST shopping buddies. Because some of ur girlfriends as much as u love 'em - ain't got no style. Because some of ur girlfriends don't know no better. Because some of ur girlfriends are the same size as u and will lie but show up to the club in that same exact Jimmy Choo for H&M dress they said was bunk the week before. Because sometimes we plain and simply just don't wanna go shopping with our girlfriends. And because if we take a straight man they will do the following:

I. Say "yes" to everything
a) because that's what they're supposed to say
b) they really do think u look beautiful in everything (aw)
c) they'll say whatever will get yall out the door and back home to the game as fast as possible

II. Be ...
a) next door at Gamestop
b) next, next door at Foot Action watching the game with the rest of the boyfriends
c) be outside the store, on the phone, chewing gum, or picking lint outta his pocket - being anywhere but inside F21 with u doing anything except watching women shop

Because a gay man will usually have more fashion sense than u and always, always look out for ur best interest. U are their best accesory as well, and honey u know they ain't tryna tote no ugly, tacky, cheap purse on their arm.

4) They're allergic to booshit. They'll give it to u straight with no chaser. Not that all hetereo's are liars but if those thigh high boots make ur legs look like longanisa links, they'll tell u. If ur new haircut looks more trailer park than high fashion, they'll tell u. And if ur ex mans new girl is drop dead gorgeous, they'll also tell u. But they'll also tell u, u got the best rack they've ever seen so show them off instead, to slick ur hair to the side and add a cute barette so u look less Jim Bob Nascar Jones and more Rihanna, and that as pretty as she is - the bitch still ain't YOU (and they'll mean it too). Even if they sugar-coat shit, they'll still tell u the truth. Reason being, they ain't got time to sweat the petty. Besides y would they lie? They ain't tryna boink u anyway. They have bigger things to worry about i.e. coming out to the people they love, not getting beat up by homophobes, PROPOSITION 8.

5) Lastly, and most of all, They'll be all of the above and not expect anything in return asides from ur friendship. And maybe letting them borrow ur squin bra once in a while. Gays are like a 2 in 1 package. "Strong enough for a man but made for a women." The looks and comfort of a man, combined with the sisterhood u'd get from another female. They can be ur handsome date at ur girls wedding and tell u ur beatiful and let u cry on their shoulder ... and then go home and fuck their boyfriend instead of trying to get into ur pants. Despite how close yall two may get, they'll never fall for u so there's no risk of potentially losing a friendship to a failed relationship or feelings that aren't reciprocated. Like MY gay said himself, "We love our girls unconditionally without wanting anything in return - and u guys know that."

Aw boo boo, we love u too.

Heteros, I hoped u learned a thing or two from this PSA. And if yall still feel jipped, don't forget, it's yall - not the gays, that get to bang us. Well, unless yall get down like that of course lol.

The only man who'll never hurt me.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Heart Broken

Will now add Jeffrey Campbell right after Christian Louboutin on my list of "Men who've broken my heart." These shoes are so goddamn fierce and impractical I can hear a tranny on 6th and Howard walkin in 'em down the street with their 6'3" size 10 ass. Why do I have to work so close to the mall?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Fashion, Ur KILLING Me

Dear God, Please don't make me have to spend almost 2bills just to cop this seasons hottest trend that I've been borrowing from Geli for almost the past 2 years. If anyone finds a pair of over the knee, suede, boots with a heel under $100 in a size 6-7 (because my feet are magical sometimes. magical as in a nicer word for retarded) HOLLER AT UR GIRL.
I promise the above and a bf blazer are the only 2 things on my list ... for now. I really don't want to splurge 'cuz I shouldn't be shopping right now and instead saving for Santee Aleey next month but these are wardrobe staples, classic that will never go outta style. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself when I empty my wallet on this shit.
OK, and this last item. This is just me being greedy lol. I'd like 2 straps though, and a lil' thicker. Maybe a buckle somewhere in that mix too. But because I don't have $1,000+ to spend on these bad boys nor trust the Japanese and UK ads on Ebay, I'll continue to refresh F21 until they finally start selling a k.o. pair.
P.S. I have never wanted this much black stuff in my life. As much as we need the rain and the winter, I can't wait 'till it's spring again.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Tragedy to Triumph

When 9-11 happened I was overwhelmed by the compassion people exhibited towards each other amidst the aftermath of it all. The perseverance, strength, and courage of New Yorkers as well as the rest of the world almost always had me in tears every time I saw an example of it in the news. I was surprised, yet overjoyed to see that there were still good people here on Earth.

But at the same time, I was also disappointed. Even saddened, knowing that it had to take something as devastating as a plane crashing into the Twin Towers to bring people together. It took labeling a common "enemy" in order for people of all shapes, sizes, and colors to find something in common with one another. But perhaps it's just like the saying goes, without the sour, the sweet just ain't as sweet.

Well, if that's the case then this past Saturdays fundraiser was as sweet as the red velvet cupcakes we sold there. No - I take it back, as in back to the motherland. It was as sweet as a nice big parfait glass filled with shaved ice, mung beans, langka, nata de coco, macapuno, creme caramel, condensed milk (condensed milk >>> evaporated milk any day), with a huge scoop of ube ice cream on top (Halo-Halo for those who ain't Filipino. Look it up, it'll change ur life).

I ain't even gonna front. I was shittin bricks during the early hours of the event. Nervous. Frantic. Or "taranta" as my mom called me. And Rach? All u saw were her cougar pants darting back and forth in between rooms as she spazzed out. The photographer has diarhhea? SHIT! No really, SHIT. What if nobody buys a raffle ticket? Anthony's Cookies flaked? Where's the Lady Bird SF chick? The cops are outside? What if Fran Boogie gets so bored he leaves? IT'S 8pm WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY?!

But apparently, fundraisers are not exempt to the infamous "Filipino Time" rule. Just like a typical Filipino function - everyone came late. 2 hours late at that. But in full force. Bringing friends, and friends of friends. With optimisim and open wallets. $20 for 10 raffle tickets was nothing to them considering the awesome (not to mention expensive) goodies we had as prizes and of course the fact that it was all going towards the Typhoon Ketsana victims. And despite a a minor aneurysm here and there, the night went on without a hitch.

By 9pm people were happily munchin on ribs and chicken, my mom was on her 2nd plate of calamari, 1 tray of the cupcakes was gone, and people's greasy lips gave proof that they had fell prey to the lumpia cart. Drinks were being served at the bar and all our vendors had settled in. I know some clubs have a line that forms outside the club but ours had one at the raffle/donation table! By 9:30, the beautiful dancers of Nemenzo took stage (floor), and I was officially buzzin and obnoxious, cheering and screaming louder than half of the room combined. And immediately following, was the raffle - which undoubtedly was the cherry on top.

As I stood at the front of the DJ booth in between the funniest emcee ever, Fran Boogie and Rach (whose idea this was to begin with) - it became clear to me that the 2 weeks of mass emails, contacting donors, asking for favors, the bags under my eyes, the going cross eyed on Photoshop when I could've easily used Microsoft Word instead, the looong, ice-creamless pow-wows, all the stress and preparation that went towards this fundraiser WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Because asides from raising money for a good cause, my personal mission had been accomplished. Usually, when people think of "fundraiser" they think: Great, an excuse to get people to do shit for free and having to give money to a bunch of people they don't know. Which is why I made it a priority to annoy people with my Facebook status's promoting how much this event was for the attendees as well as for the flood victims. And by the smiles on people's faces, the screams as raffle numbers were called out, and the amazing victory dances as the winners picked up their prizes, I knew we really put the FUN in FUNdraiser.

I am no activist. Nor by any means do I think I'm righteous. But I care for the greater good of the world as naive as that may sound. Although my family in Montolban were not directly affected by Typhoon Ketsana, they were stranded in their tiny town due to the floods. I'm supposed to visit them next year for the first time in 14 years and all I kept thinking was, "What if they hadn't made it through the flood and I never got to taste my grandfathers cooking again or hug my grandmother and feel her silky, wrinkly hands, or carry my baby cousin for the first time ever?!" THAT is why I decided to participate in this fundraiser. It rained yesterday for less than an hour and Van Ness station was already flooded, with Folsom St. shops having to close down. It could've EASILY happened to us.

I never thought I could make a difference before because I never quite had the resources to do so, but now that I do it almost feels like an obligation. And I'm glad. It's beautiful the things people can accomplish when fueld by a positive energy. Like Rach said, "love looks good." No, it's looks WTFly. Thank you to everybody that made this event possible. Especially the donors who enabled us to put together the BEST raffle prizes ever, the food donors who got us fat and jolly, all the volunteers who never thought they'd be at a club at 7pm, the photographers, djs, emcee, and performers who entertained us all night, anyone who reposted the flier or reblogged it, and of course YOU for coming out and turning tragedy to triumph.

Now that I'm done being gay, stay tuned for an update of where all your efforts went and an awesome photo recap of the night!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Make Fuck, Not War

Before I begin. Mother if ur reading this. Because I know u do read my blog. Don't lie. But seriously if ur reading this - STOP.

If u can read this that means u haven't stopped. I'll give u one more chance - STOP NOW.

No I'm serious. Because in ur eyes I'm still a baby, and around u I still think I'm 7, sometimes 6. So for real this time - STOP.

I'll give u till 3.



Still reading?

2 1/2


Don't say I didn't warn u.

OK, shall I proceed? (Yes indeed!)

I took a small survey the other day and asked 6 of my girl friends, "Would u rather make love - or get the brains fucked outta ya?"

The response was a resounding, unanimous vote for the latter. And while the ladies may lie in an open round table, and this may shock some men out there - I for one am not surprised one bit. Maybe I'm just insensitive. Maybe I'm just a hornball. Or maybe yall just ain't never been FUCKED. 'Cuz I will take hot, sweaty, spine tingling, mind blowing, headboard breaking, gotta shove ur mouth into the pillow so ur neighbors don't call the cops on ur loud ass, back scratching, lip biting, hurts so good, got u walkin funny the next day sex over "making love" ANY DAY. Save the rose petals, the poetry, the candles, and the bubble baths for another girl. 'Cuz THIS one just wants to get dicked down already.

If u don't feel me on this ur probably thinking 1 of the following 2 things: The first being, "What a ho." Congratulations! Only ignorant, close minded people quick to judge would automatically assume this and ur the winner! Puh-lease, I can count on one hand how many people I've slept with. Just 'cuz I like to fuck - don't mean I'll fuck anybody and everybody. To each their own but this pussy is selective. Thank you, DON'T come again (No pun intended).

The second being, "Maybe u just haven't been made love to." Don't get it twisted though, I love romance. If u've been following my blog then u should know by now that I'm a lover of love. Kissing in the rain. Post-is on the tv screen and secret notes hidden in the car visor. Those funny faces he'll make for u and only u that he would get clowned for days about if his boys ever found out. The way u go from Miss Independent to straight mush when ur in his arms. Staring at the person and gazing so deep into their eyes u swear u can see into their soul. Sitting in the same room doing separate things, not paying attention to the other, but still feeling absolutely 110% connected. What u know about that? I know ALL about that.

I had those moments of intimacy where I've kissed my boyfriend whom I was so in love with so slow, and hard, and passionate that we both started crying. (*sigh*) But when it comes to that good-good, no matter how good the fore-play is I just wanna get down to biniss already. It may start out all cute and shit, kisses and foreplay, but ultimately, it almost always ends up the same way: fucking! Ur probably still shaking ur head at me. Maybe I'm just impatient (Although I think surviving gridlock during rush hour traffic with a stick shift shows amazing patience). Or maybe it just depends on the individuals definition of making love, fucking, etc.

Either way I've made up my mind: Toss the Kenny G. and pop in that Jodeci or R. Kelly.

Sorry folks, Fucking >>> making love. At least in my book.

Now - getting fucked by the person ur in love with? Oh, there's no other way to have sex :)

Say What?! - You Rest, You Rust Edition

I want to write about last night's successful event. And reply to my last 2 "Dear Abi" emails. Or at least finish 1 of the 4 drafts I have on my dashboard. But instead, I'm going to blog about random, uesless shit because I'm lazy, I'm tired, I'm finally NOT sick BUT my body is sooo fatigued.
  • Just copped these even though I totally don't need them, they weren't on my fall "must-have" list, nor are they even in style but I just HAD to have 'em.
  • Have u guys ever tried caviar? I hadn't until just last night and holy shit mother of God it's good. But I can definitely see why someone people wouldn't like it. I tried two different types and one of them tasted too much like the sea but the other one which was truffle flavored, a lighter brown in color had a nice buttery taste was to fucking die for. I'm definitely saving up for a rainy day and heading out to the Ferry Building to visit Tsar Nicoulai Caviar Cafe. I now know what Robin Leech's hype was all about.

  • I really need to learn how to use Twitter. Eh, or maybe I won't LOL.
  • Can't wait to have a WTforks Wessyde connection next month when me and The Mayor head out to L.A. to watch the midnight showing of New Moon. YES. It's that serious folks.
  • Now that I finally copped the H&M dress I've been wanting since forever (I don't care if it's a size 6 I'll MAKE IT FIT, I swear I only need suede over the knee boots and a boyfriend blazer and I'll be done this season. Santee Alley don't fail me now!

  • The dress looks like a big blog 'cuz Kourney Kardashian refuses to believe she's pregnant but I promise it's super cute. Trendy yet simple, just the way I like it.
  • Alright, time to take a quick nap then head over to the Brito's to make sure all the efforts from last nights fundraiser go to the right people: THE FLOOD VICTIMS OF TYPHOON KETSANA.
  • Lastly, God yall don't know how much I miss this kind of music. Forward to 1:40.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Dear Abi - Double Trouble

I received these 2 emails and I swear - SOMETHING must be in the air.

Dear Abi,

I've known this guy for a couple years now and he's like the older bro I've always wanted. We got that solid, look-past-the-flaws type of friendship, so everything was all fine and dandy until I realized I started to think about him as more than just a friend. I ended up telling him my feelings and we were totally cool after. Yeah, what's the problem then right? Well lately he's been more... touchy. Like arm around me, lean his head on me, play with my hair kind of stuff. And then for the first time he kissed me (just on the top of my head, but it still happened!). I'm sure as hell not complaining but it's driving me crazy! I thought my emotions were back in check, but all this new kind of attention is making me think "like that" again. Should I confront him? Ignore it and enjoy? Am I just overanalyzing?

Dear Confused,

Your email is totally making me giggle and bringing me back to my school girl crush days when you don't know whether a guy likes u back or not. Seems to me that if anything he's just as curious as u are to see what would happen if you cross that friendship line. If he only totally saw u in that "Little sister I always wanted" way and if yall are as tight as u said, he should've had no problem going past the possibilty of hurting ur feelings by being HONEST and saying, "I'm sorry I don't feel u in that way." But seems to me that ever since u told him u were interested - he's been responding, even in the littlest ways. If it makes u feel better, confront him but more than likely he's gonna tell u what I'm about to tell u anyway: Just go with the flow. DON'T TAKE THE SAME CRAZY PILLS I BE OVERDOSING ON SOMETIMES. It just ruins things. What matters is ur enjoying each others company and having fun. I don't think ur overnalyzing right now, but u have the potential to in the future. U can't control the way u feel but u can control the way u act, remember that! One things for sure though, when something is real and natural it will just happen. U won't have to question urself, "Does he like me? Does he want to be more than my friend? Am I wasting my time?" It will be simple and just happen.

Dear Abi,
Lalalove the blog!

So last night I was chilling with my best guy friend at his place, usual stuff. Next thing you know, he's pulling me in for a kiss (twas good LOL). Anyway, we try hanging out tonight to "unawkward" the situation but he ends up swooping in again. & I guess I've always been kinda attracted to him, so I just give in. Now he keeps saying he's doesn't know how he feels about me even though he's the one with his hands up my shirt and shit. What you think?


Damn u ladies and ur "best friends" lol! It's ur best friend so u should know him way more than me. But if he's blatantly making passes at u physically - yet being shifty when it comes to actually letting u know what the deal is between yall two, while I don't think ur gettin played, I do think he's playing with ur emotions. But if ur having fun (which it sounds like u are :o), hey, long as u can be an adult about it and just take it for what it is and not EXPECT anything then continue to have ur fun. However, if u think it will affect ur friendship (IF it's something u feel is worth keeping) then I would avoid having these sexy time confrontations. UNLESS u don't mind ur bff status turning into ftf status. Yah u know - "friends that fuck." Which in that case - handle that! But when dealing with someone u've been good friends with, there's always room for error and always room to catch feelings.

Bucket List

U know how most people want to visit the 7 Wonders of the World? I don't LOL. But I do have my own list of places I would love to go while I'm still here on Earth, at least for the first time around. I love to travel. Matter of fact I do it like I can actually afford to and really got the PTO. But visiting these beautiful places always, always makes me feel unbelievably lucky and blessed. And being broke afterwards and eating Ramen for an entire week is always, always worth it.

1. The Maldives
Look at that shit, there's really no explanation necessary. And because it's the lowest country in the world (only 1.5 m above sea level on average) it can be submerged by 2050/2100 due to the effects global warming has on the rising sea levels. Ladies? 2011? DONESON.COM

2. Santorini, Greece
When I first watched Lara Croft's Tomb Raider I instantaneously became attracted to the all white buildings and bluest of the blue waters of this island, and have been absolutely obsessed ever since.

3. Fairbanks, AL
Why the fuck Fairbanks Alaska of all places? 2 words: Aurora Borealis. The greatest, most spectaular-ist, light show on Earf, no E necessary, and possibly one of the most beautiful natural phenomenons I may ever see in my life.

4. Giza Plateau, Egypt
Because I will never believe the great pyramids of Giza and the Egyptian sphinx are real until I see it with my very eyes. I cannot even fathom the feeling I would have in the prescence of this famous wonder of the world. I may damn near ahve an out of body Cleopatra experience.

5. Zimbabwe, Africa
Because I'm a crazy muthafucka. I don't think I will have lived until I play in the Devil's Swimming Pool atop Victoria Falls which boast a 128m drop. During Sept. and Dec. u can swim as close as possible to the edge without plumetting to a watery grave below. Dude. Yall have to YouTube videos of these lunatics jumping in. I'm totally gonna be one of them. P.S. Did I mention I can't even swim?

P.S. If the list had been Top 11, Bora Bora, Paris, Rome, Venice, The Amazon Rainforest, and Japan, and Dubai added to the list.

Where would you like to go?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


There are days when I feel like sunshine and roses and rainbows, and eskimo kisses, and all sorts of pretty, fluttery, fruity-loopy shit. Sometimes I even ask my friends who are still in their never ending honeymoon stage questions like, "How did u guys meet? How did he propose? How did u know u loved him? etc. etc." just so I can giggle and feel encouraged upon hearing my response. Just last week I started crying "happy tears" at work while listening to Robin Thicke's "Sweetest Love," 'cuz I thought the song was so beautiful and it encompassed everything wonderful about being in a relationship. And just yesterday I drafted a post talking about how happy I am to be at a place in my life where although I've been hurt, and my hearts been beaten, I embrace my bruises and scars and STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE. Afterall, "When u harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere."

But sweetie, today ain't one of those days.

I'm borderline rivaling Kurt Cobain's self-loathe factor and am as bitter as a Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale. I am a living, breathing, walking hypocrisy of all the ideals I try to convey in my blogs. And that pisses me off so much I think I'm turning green.

Today. Today I feel like the clean-up woman. Like Chuck from Good Luck Chuck minus the penis and insane sex-life. Except at least Chuck was useful, he served a purpose. I feel useless, and a little unworthy. Like every effort I've made went unnoticed, or just wasn't good enough. I feel inconsolable and stubborn. I don't want to hear no goddamn "It's gonna be ok," or, "Time is ur friend,"bullshit. I know it's true, but I refuse to swallow it. Everyone around me is having babies and getting married and I'm just. Here. I'm in no rush for either 'cuz I sure as hell ain't ready for either, but it would be nice to know that it WILL happen. And now I sound pathetic. Oh dear God I must look like Jennifer Anniston. Bright girl. Pretty girl. Smart girl. Funny girl. But something must be wrong with her if she ain't got no man?! So now I'm angry. With myself. For having this schizophrenic conversation. For this heart vs. mind civil war. For even thinking of thinking that I'm not good enough or anything less than extraordinary. For dwelling on failed relationships and disecting the exact second it went wrong and what I could've done to have avoided it's destruction when none of that shit is important nor relevant. For caring about the past. For letting everyone that is reading this down. For letting myself down.

'Cuz let's face it, I wouldn't write "Dear Abi," if Abi sounded like a bi-polar lunatic that overdosed on crazy pills and can't keep it together herself.

Buuuut, I'm still here ... writing ... and I haven't clicked "save as draft" yet or delete. Because despite the fact that I'm sure I'll regret puttin my vulnerabilities on blast tomorrow - yall need to see it. Not 'cuz I'm fishing for compliements 'cuz shiiit, I rather get complimented on my shoes. And not so yall can feel bad for me, 'cuz shiiit I rather you feel bad that I gotta take the retarded ass MUNI home in the rain, SICK, with a broken umbrella and offer me a ride instead. But because u need to know that when yall email me and I say, "I feel u girl," it's for real for real. So that u can know that u really aren't alone. So that u can know it's OK to have a bad day. So that you believe me when I say that I was once in ur shoes. So that u know, that I do know what it feels like to have every movie, tv show, picture, holiday, song, smell, sight, sound, every memory that once made u smile - make u break down and cry. Because we all know that heartbreak is evident. It happens to the best of us.

So now I sit here, with a cold. Eyes watery and nose running. Finishing up this blog, researching business plans, and publishing houses, and completing the fundraiser programs. Doing all of that - yet still feeling like I should be doing more.

There are days when I feel like I'm Super Woman. But the reality is, I'm not. I am not more powerful than a locomotive. I cannot leap tall buildings in a single bound. Hell, I can't even move my blog over to wordpress without getting a migraine. So I'm sorry. I can't be your Super Woman. But mufucka, I'm a good woman. Todays just not my day.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Things my Mom Says

  • About 2 weeks ago my mom drops me off and as I'm walking towards my front gate she rolls down the window, screams, "Peace out," and then skee-skirts away. WTF?
  • Me and my mom are getting ready to go out for lunch and I'm wearing her Chicago Bulls sweater I borrowed the night before. She throws me a plain grey sweater and goes, "Wear this instead." I ask why? She replies, "You might get jumped." WTF?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Open Your Eyes

A few weeks ago I received a "Dear Abi" email from a 16 year old girl named ... well let's call her Jamie. I started tearing up as I read her email because I had the exact same mind state only a year ago. Usually after responding to an email I feel good about it, but not this time. I felt like I had failed her in some way. I knew what she was going through. I felt that pain before. And that's why I know there's nothing anyone can say to make it go away. So I did the best I could to just let her know she wasn't alone and that she'll get better ... 'cuz I did too. What I forgot to tell her though, was to listen to this song. It helped me a lot when I didn't want to move on or open up my heart again and let go of the past. I was just reminded of it when my Hayati showed me a cover of it, but for now I'll let you guys listen to the original. It's called "Open Your Eyes," by Dwele I believe. The first few lines always speak to me. Enjoy.

"I see you in a lonely place,
How could you be so blind
You're still regretting the love you left,
Left behind
I see you go through your changes,
Sitting alone each night
How you expecting to find a love, a love that's right?
Well darling open your eyes ..."


Thursday, October 8, 2009

When Worse Comes to Worst, My People Come First

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, WHETHER IT BE BY MOUTH, BY RE-BLOGGING, ON FACEBOOK OR MYSPACE, VIA AIM, OR EMAIL. THIS IS THE ONE TIME I ENCOURAGE U TO BITE MY SHIT LOL!I've received so many comments and emails from complete strangers and friends alike, telling me how much my blog has helped them in one way or another. (I smile and my heart goes "awww" everytime I read one I swear). Being an avid reader myself, I know how much of an impact the perfect anecdote or phrase or one-liner can have on a person so even though I ain't famous or rich (yet! haha) from writing, it really is an honor to hear from you readers.

But now, I'm asking you to help me.

The flier above is promoting a fundraiser me, my girl Rach, and Boogie Events is throwing on Sat. October 17th at 111 Minna in SF from 7-10pm. Come through and eat delicious food, get ur nails did, or shop vintage digs, and get a chance to cop the creme de la creme of streetwear for just $2! Basically, do all the shit u'd probably be doing on a Saturday night anyway - except do it knowing that you will not be the only one benefitting from it. All donations, all raffle proceeds, all food sales, and a portion of the individual vendors profit will go towards the flood victims of Typhoon Ketsana. "Because if it wasn't for your parents struggle it would be YOU on that rooftop"

And when I say fundraiser, I mean FUNdraiser. Here is just a taste of what the evening has to offer:

Vendor Services:
Stephs Closet providing discount, unique vintage clothing
MJ's Skin Mechanix, providing waxing and lash extensions
A. Sade, for them funky, fresh nail designs
Ladybird SF, with beautiful handmade jewelry
And more!

Food by:
Dashanhairolla - LUMPIA CART FOLKS. That's RIDICULOUS yall know u aint gotta be Filipino to love lumpia!
Mercury Lounge
Le Colonial
Sweet Dreams Bakery
Ihaw Ihaw
Anthony's Cookies

Raffle prizes by:
Hellz Bellz
Adapt Clothing
Dimepiece Designs
Sedusa Studios
Jackson Arms
My Raw Fitness
Ruel's Fitness Training
Bella Nirvana
The W Hotel
And more!

Special thanks to ABS-CBN and Distortion 2 Static
With a special pre-party performance by the beautiful, and talented members of Nemenzo.

So folks if you're anywhere near SF please come through, say hi, have fun, and get fat all for a good cause. And if u can't - tell someone who can. And tell them to tell someone. Thanks everyone!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Robin Thicke & Paula Patton- The Sweest Love

Ask anyone of my friends and they will tell u that I am a celebrity gossip junkie. Guilty as charged! I know it's fucking horrible but I cannot get through a day without my daily dose of Trent and YBF . I totally should've majored in broadcast journalism instead of magazine writing so that I could be reporting live from the E red carpet by now, 'cuz it ain't like I'm breaking news as it happens already.

Anyway, I was perusing through my favorites online and came across an interview with the lovely Paula Patton where she was asked how her and husband, undercover brotha, Robin Thicke keep the magic alive. To which she replied, "Lots of lingerie and heels and hotel rooms!" Get em girl. These two are absolutely adorable together. She's simply stunning and while I keep seeing Dr. Seaver whenever I look at him nowadays his voice is sexy enough to make me forget about it. I'm sure "Lost Without You," and "Sweetest Love," are their anthems.

"The reason for wedding songs are you and me ..."



I just got done watching this clip from an episode of Sex and the City. I own season 5 and 6, and the movie itself on dvd. Slowly going to complete my SATC collection. If u couldn't tell - I love the show. But after watching this clip I was reminded of how immature, crazy, and downright stupid Carrie acted sometimes. I couldn't help but literally laugh out loud and blurt, "What an idiot." Big was an asshole. Yet Carrie was in love with him. Been there, done that. But here he was, having one of his very FEW un-asshole moments where he was being honest with her and what does she do? Throw a goddamn hissy-fit and waste a perfectly good filet-o-fish. One thing many women ask for is honesty - yet when they get it, they act like this.

Now wonder men lie. Not that this type of behavior justifies dishonesty but SHIT, I understand completely. And yes, I can talk shit and say these things because I was exactly the same way. I once kept a guy that I was dating outside of my house and held him for hostage until he finally agreed to work things out, all while his car was double parked in the middle of the street. HELLO, as if that wasn't a big enough sign to tell me all he wanted to do was drop off my dvd and BOUCNE the fuck outta there. So when I yell at my screen while watching these old episodes of SATC, I'm pretty much yelling at myself. This is the thing. When I was in those unhealthy relationships I felt for some retarded reason that it was absolutely necessary to be dramatic. I felt that if maybe I yelled or screamed or made a scene - the person I was unecesarilly arguing with would magically agree with me and then the hot, passionate makeup sex would commence.


Shit just got worse and I ended up looking even more stupid than I felt. The screaming matches outside the club, the immature MySpace comments putting the triflin asshole on blast when really I was just puttin MYSELF on blast. God, I'm ashamed just writing about it. It was one thing to do it, understandable in fact 'cuz we do some crazy things when acting on impulse full of emotional adrenaline but what made it totally FOR SHAME was almost always I would give in and let this guy who I was just calling a loser back into my life. Just because I was the one calling him names and fighting I thought I was in control. But really, I was just giving him more credit than he deserved and making myself look bad. Now I know that I am sooo much better than that. Ladies - u are so much better than that.

If there's anything I've learned, it's u cannot make another person love u. U cannot force them to be with u. And there's no type of reasoning u can give to make them change their mind. Big was straight up telling Carrie the deal up there and whether or not he was being a coward and running away from how he truly felt, no woman OR man for that matter should ever get mad at someone just because they don't want to be with them.

Why would u want to be with someone who just flat out told u they didn't want to be with u anyway?

Carrie's a moron. Not necessarily because she threw her "le McDonalds" at the tv but because of the reason she threw it. Because Big told her not to uproot her life just for him and expect something in return. I think it was the most honest and fair thing he had ever said or done. Same reason Summer is not a villain in the movie, "500 Days of Summer." It's the same exact concept. So all u delusional men who gave me heat for that movie but think Carrie was acting irrational in that clip up there - take off the lace panties NOW 'cuz it's cutting off the circulation to ur brain.

OK. I'm going astray. My real point is, love, like, relationships, marriage, etc. etc. should happen on its own. When u force it, it either doesn't happen, pushes it away, or isn't genuine. But if u simply MUST act a fool ('cuz Lord knows the only way I learned was to fuck up first) please for the love of God, throw a dish or a vase instead. That way u can grub on ur burger on the way home from ur mans apartment after the fight and eat the pain away.

Monday, October 5, 2009

How to be a WTFly Lady Step #1

Cop sumthn from our shop! Now u can look fly for a purpose other than ur own vanity lol. A portion of ur purchase will go towards the flood victims of Typhoon Ketsana.

Outcast is the new Popular

Since Rach & Jess both delved into their middle/high school experiences, and I'm too stressed out at work to think for myself lol, I suppose I'll dabble into it as well.

My story however, is a little different.

For as long as I can remember, I was always a part of the "popular" crowd whatever the hell that means. I never tried to be, it always just - kinda happened. And although I grew up being 3 shades darker than I am now, had 2 front teeth u could bbq burgers on, and didn't know tweezers existed until my junior year of high school - I never had a bonified "ugly duckling" stage. Sat at the "cool" table in the cafeteria, and chilled at the "cool people flag post" during lunch.

But at the same time - I was also friends with the "nerds."

'Cuz for as long as I can remember, I also had honors classes. I swear, u could never tell now with all the airhead moments I've been having lately, but it's true. And it's all so typical. With the exception of a handful of students, most of the people in my classes were ur stereotypical nerds. Some had coke bottle eye-glasses and adorned a face full of acne, while some smelled like dried milk and wore the same clothes everyday for a week. But I was cool with them. And after a while, I realized that they were cool peoples as well.

Which was a good thing because when people started hatin, and I mean people as in GIRLS - it were these "cool nerds," who would sit with me INSIDE classrooms during lunch while we'd do homework that wasn't due until the next week. And it's funny 'cuz as much as the popular folks would judge them - they never once judged me.

Remember that movie Mean Girls? It's not too much of an exaggeration - GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL ARE MEAN. They don't even need a reason to be either. My freshman year 2 girls who were supposedly my friends played a prank and paged (yes I said paged) people weird messages using my pager code. However, I knew it was them. I forget now how I knew but I knew, it was more than a "hunch," I had proof. Anyway, when I asked one of the girls, she got pissed and pulled a "WTF so now ur accusing me?" womp womp womp. Basically they used that whole "accusation," as a reason to un-friend me as if it was MySpace. And just like that - I wasn't a part of their clique anymore. Of course I was sad but while I'm a lover and not a fighter, even more so - I ain't no kiss ass. So. I just left shit as it was. But when these 2 girls began to realize that nobody was following them and people were still my friend and that ultimately their plan didn't work - they became my friend again. Seriously, just like that. Chick went up to me in the locker room after gym, linked her arm with mine and said she had some weed we could smoke.

WTF. All I could think was, "Aren't u supposed to be mad at me?"

But that's high school for u. People - I mean girls doing mean shit for NO reason. But as much as I wanna complain about all the injustices I had in high school, as much as I wanna say that during my senior year I became an outcast not by choice but because I was forced to be one and I cried at my graduation not because I would miss people but because girls that were sposed to be my friends became so mean to me that I was so happy to get the fuck out, and as much as I wanna say that I had it hard at times - I won't. Because not everyone gets their ugly duckling turned swan story. Not everyone gets a "HA IN UR FACE," chinky-giraffe anecdote like Kimora Lee. Not everyone that's different becomes a trend setter. Not Gwen Araujo. Not Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold.

But regardless of who's story - I will have to agree with both Rach and Jess and say, IT AIN'T WORTH IT. Fakin it to be popular or being mean to nerds if u were already popular. Both sooooo unecessary. Although it totally wouldn't be high school without it. But if I knew then what I knew now, I wouldn't have minded being a dork. Shit, I'd probably be some fuckin rocket scientist by now. OK I'm lying. I suck at math, but u know what I mean. While I can only assume all of these things 'cuz I was never really on the other side of the tracks, I can state this as a fact: I don't miss a single person that was a part of that "in-crowd" I was in. Not a single one of them. Yet - I'm totally curious to see if the pimple-faced Chinese dude with the big head in English Lit. became some hunky, rich Porche driving dude u see valet parking on Santanna Row.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

MJ Medley

WOWWWWWW. And that's kinda all I really have to say about that.

Who's Gonna Run This Town Tonight?

My mom, that's who.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Hopeless Romantic

OK are u ready for this, 'cuz I've gotten emo on here a few times now, but never extra tender so this is a rarity u might want to write down in ur calendar.

The above picture was taken by my homegirl Kat on Bart today. They're absolutely adorable and by far the oldest pair of cupcakers I've ever seen. But there's more. Kat told me their glasses clinked on each other when the Mrs. kissed the Mr. good-bye and said "i love you." Then, she waited for the train to leave the platform before walking away and they blew kisses as it did.

I mean COME THE FUCK ON! I don't even know couples MY age that do this shit. It's quite heart warming, moreover, refreshing. There are some people that say true love is about infinite passion, while others say the key is communication. I am a firm believer that it's a combination of the two. Because I've been in both types of relationships, and both have failed because they were missing the other component. You need hugs and kisses and hot, rip each others clothes off before u can even make it through the front door sex. But u also need respect, trust, and compromise. 'Cuz if yall have absolutely nothing of substance to talk about in bed after ur hot and sweaty romp in the sheets, then ur kinda just booty-calls. And if all u do is talk talk talk without physical intimacy, then ur kinda just best-friends.

U CAN FIND BOTH. My homeys Gail and Gayson found it 2 1/2 years ago and they're still in their honeymoon stage. Don't fool urself into believing that u can't have both either! If u don't need both, that's perfectly fine, to each their own. But if that's what u want, then don't settle for less just because ur afraid u'll end up alone or ur cynical that this type of love exist.

While I don't know the exact story behind this elderly couple, I'd like to think they are a living testament of this kinda love. I wish I could sit down with them and ask how they met, how they fell in love, how they got married, and how they stay in love. Whatever the story, I'm sure it's got both passion and friendship in it. Because once the lust settles, and the arthritis sets in and all u can do is sit in ur rocking chair - yall better have something to talk about.


Sorry for the lack of post lately but I've been ridonkulously busy with moving at work, designing, writing (separate project non-blog related), and being 1 half of a dynamic duo that is planning what is going to be the fundraiser of the year which I will tell u about soon enough. All I have time to do today is show u these Ehnsani rings that are already mine ... they just don't know it yet. Lurrrve.