Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
CG: Oh yes!
Me: Strawberry cake with fresh bananas.
Me: Hmmmm. Good question. I actually wanted something written on it if possible.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Fellas: A fly-ass Jessica Alba look-alike walks by you, her neck smelling sweeter than a plate of yams (with exxxtra syrup). U dig deep for ur best one-liner but just as ur about to holler, u see her walk into the arms of a dude who u define as a short, ugly, Smigel from Lord of the Rings lookalike. And u think to urself, "Damn, he must be rich."
Ladies: Ur co-worker is smooth like Mos Def and his voice got bass, body like Mark Wahlberg with a Channing Tatum face, but word around the office is he's taken. OF COURSE HE IS. Wifey's attending the holiday party after work and u can't wait to see this Helen of Troy-esque beauty. But when u finally see her she is NO Bugatti Veyron. Matter fact, she's barely a pinto. And then u think to urself, "What the fuck is he doing with her?"
I know all that up there sounds mad shallow, but it's the truth for most people and happens far more frequently than u think. Shit, I've lost count myself. No matter who the ugly in the relationship is, we're always left wondering, "How in the world did this not so likely couple get together and fall in love?" As a reflex, most conclude it's because; he must be really nice (ugly guy/hot girl), or he's doing a charity case (hot guy.ugly girl), or he must have a big dick (ugly guy/hot girl), or she must he a gold digger (hot guy/ugly girl). But I'm not talking about a fake relationship, I'm talking about love.
Many assume, and many stereotype. But I think know the real answer.
Men, want to feel like men. And I'm not talkin about some broad who lives to iron and cook and clean for her man that never opposes to giving head (although I'm sure that is also ideal). But I'm talkin 'bout a female who holds him the fuck down and stands by her man through the fire, rain, snow, Typhoon Ketsana, whores, weight gains, jail, injuries, unemployment, etc. It doesn't have to get as complex as that, but u get the point. Men feel like men when they got a ride or die woman by their side. Don't believe me? Ask T.I.
And for women? It's simple - HE MAKES HER LAUGH. I swear. I promise u. While it's not the only reason of course (shit like not being a cheater or an abuser should be a given dammit), it's a big one. Just the other day I was watching Timothy DelaGhetto's YouTube channel where almost every other video features his lovely lady. In one of the clips he addresses the many haters and says, "Yes this tiny-penis Asian dude is really with this hot ass Latina chick," as Illeana, the "hot ass Latina chick" sits ever so smitten on his lap with her face in the nook of his neck. It doesn't look fake, or rehearsed. It looks like ... 2 people IN LOVE. This DelaGhetto dude is not my type at all, and I'm gonna throw myself under the bus and assume he initially wasn't hers either. But after watching some of his other vidz it all made perfect sense. And I kinda love it!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A very special (early) Hayati Happy Birthday to my TV Indian mahal, Sachel Man Frito! Whom without, I wouldn't be writing for WTForks?! w/ my WTFly ladies, know Lawn, have gotten fat, or started my very own blog!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I'll save my "Dear 2009" letter for another day when I feel like being depressed. Today though, I'll do my Top 10 songs of 2009 in conjunction with Rach's 2009 Wrap Up soon to be posted. Because along with every year of my life, music has played an immense part in it.
The following are songs that came out in 2009 that will forever embody the year and remind me of it whether I want to or not. Some of the songs I liked, some I loved, and some I wanted to tear my eardrums outta my head after hearing it for the fafillionth time. So now, without further adieu ...
10) Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys - Had his album dropped earlier in the year, perhaps this anthem would've been higher up in the list. Nevertheless, this single currently has folks even in the heart of L.A. screaming "New York, New York, New Yawwwwwk."
9) I'm in Miami Bitch by LMFAO - Oh yes. The song that made u want to spend money u don't have on bottle service and get shitface at some club where nobody knows who u are so u could get away with dancing on the bartop with a polka dot bikini under ur dress and wake up next to some strange man reeking of red bull vodkas.
8) Blame It by Jamie Foxx - Thank you Jamie Foxx for creating this infectious track that had everyone stuttering at the club like it was in style. And thank you for giving us someone (or something) to blame other than ourselves when we look back at pictures from the wild night before to find we almost married a midget and jumped in the Paris fountain in Vegas fully clothed.
7) BEST I EVER HAD by Drake (Thnx Ash. Me=Ruh-tard lol) - 2009 was definitely the year of Drake. He single handedly gave Degrassi High fans a cool pass and let every woman far and wide know that ain't nothing sexier than when u got ur "hair tied, sweat pants, chillin with no makeup on ... "
6) Turnin me On by Keri Hilson - OK just kidding, I was going to put this on the list but just found out it came out in 2008. Luckily for Miss Keri Baby she also had her hit "Knocks You Down" fea. Kanye and Ne-Yo 'cuz that came out in '09 and was just as much in rotation. Let's face it, anything Ne-Yo touches is pretty much fiyah. Add Yeezy on the track? Done deal.
5) Boom-Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas - Hell, why not add the entire album. BEP always reps that feel good music. Despite all the Fergie haters and folks who think BEP sold out since their "Joints and Jams" days, I'm happy for them. I would've done the same and Kids Incorporated was the shit! Safe to say BEP is here to stay. Hatin on 'em would be so 2000 and late.
4) You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift - Kanye West. Best thing to EVER happen to the girl. Next to Taylor Lautner of course. And I ain't even gonna front, I sing this in the car ... LOUD.
3) Poker Face/Just Dance by Lady Ga Ga - Along with Drake, it was the year of the Ga-Ga, crazy bitch. Gah I love her so. Just Dance really makes u wanna well - JUST DANCE! And Poker Face makes u wanna ... poke somebodys face? Perhaps my gay said it best, "Lady Ga-Ga was sent down to us from another planet so that the gays and trannys could worship her."
2) Single Ladies by Beyonce - I mean. Does this one even need an explanation? Do you need Kanye to tell u that Beyonce had the best video of the year? This song had every gay prancing around in a leotard, and every man feelin the pressure, 'cuz every female was singin bout how "if u liked her then u shoulda put a ring on it."
1) Any Michael Jackson song ever made.
Runners up are Down by Jay Sean, Right Round by Flo Rida, and Birthday Sex by Jeremih. Anyone I'm missing?
Monday, December 14, 2009
And boy do I have a treat for u. Is it a video of Ga-Ga's incredible performance? NO. It's a sideways video of me and my ugly, loud, obnoxious drunk voice. It's supposed to be singing Just Dance except all it sounds like is da-da-da-da-da. I think I screamed in an octave I didn't even know existed. I believe dogs began to gather around the concert hall at this time. Anyway, enjoy and don't say I ain't done nothin for ya.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
P.S. You def wanna check out his cover of "I'm Yours" too!
My bf and I have been together since we were 18. I'm now 22. We've sort of been on the rocks for the past year, on and off. More on than off, but nevertheless, off. He comes from a family of divorce and cheating. My parents are still together. Not that any of this is relevant, I don't know... but maybe it is.
Soooooooooooo what, it's in his chemical make-up to cheat or something? Like it's a choice, no? Anyway, it's super frustrating, because we never end up having a legit break, because we just can't seem to be apart. But then I just end up feeling resentful and confused and continually wonder what is going through his head. Sometimes I feel like I can't completely let my guard down anymore, because I'm not sure if he'll just turn around and say he wants to go on a break again. And sometimes I just think, "Fuck this, I deserve better."
It's a vicious cycle! But I love the guy, and I know he loves me. WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?!
Advice much appreciated!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Anyway, if you've known me for at least 2 years u'll know that I love all sorts of fashion and don't really have a specific "style." I know that's what most fashionistas say in an attempt to sound cool and anti-conformative but I swear, true story. I love anything fun, and funky that FITS whether it's considerered couture, urban, contemporary, retro, rockabilly, sporty, etc. etc. etc.
One day my girl Jessica from high school told me her sister thought she saw me at the club but didn't say hi because she wasn't sure if it was me. "That bitch looks different everytime I see her. One day she's in some skanky ass butt hugger dress then the next day she's Gwen Stefani'd out" (Yes, this was in '03 when I had first discovered Russian Red by MAC lol).My mom is constantly saying shit like, "I look funny in turtlenecks," or, "I can't wear hats." But when ur as gorgeous as her, it's kinda hard to look bad in things. I'm sure half the shit I wear I really can't get away with, it's all a matter of getting used to the look, feeling comfortable in it, and then owning it. I remember my girl Ness was hesitant about wearing red lipstick even though it's her absolute favorite color. She tried mine out one Halloween and then bought her very own tube!
Vintage Vandalizm mixes her vintage steals with her favorite labels like Karen Miller, Betsey Johnson, Agent Provacateur, and D&G. But what I praise her (and hate her for lol) for is her ability to find amazing pieces at thrift shops AND fit them like a glove. She makes any and everything look gorgeous and is definitely my 40s-60s fashion muse. If u love the above outfits as much as I do, u should definitely check her out: Vintage Vandalizm.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
It's not the strapping up or patriotic speeches that send me into disarray. Nor is it dodging bullets that I fear. It's the knowing when to fight and when to surrender part that makes me weary. Because really, how the fuck do u know?
Hate to say it, but I can be extremely nosy at times. I probably know more things than I should. About people I don't even know. While I'm not particularly chissmossa about this shit, it's still a bad habit I need to get rid of. One thing I've noticed though is the followwing unfortunate pattern amongst females (strangers, acquaintances, and friends alike):
1) Boyfriend cheats on girlfriend.
2) Girlfriend publicly cusses out the "other" woman as well as her man.
3) Girlfriend ends up staying with her man.
4) Lather rinse, and repeat about 3-5 more times.
5) Finally, the boyfriend gets tired of fuckin with chicken heads and eventually wifes up his main.
And if it's not cheating it's something else. While I am relieved these men finally came around and give credit to these females for standing by their man, I can't help but ask myself, "Why did he have to fuck up 5 times when he should've acted right from the jump?" "Why be proud of being his main, when u should be his only?"
"When is enough, enough?"
There's a fine line between being a ride or die chick, and just being a dumb ass who allows herself to continuously get disrespected. Because growing up, I was also told to be the bigger person and walk away from a fight, especially one not worth it. But when are u "bowing out gracefully," as opposed to simply "giving up." How do we determine whether or not the fight is worth it? When do we know to hold on and when to let go?
Some say it's when u become indifferent. Some say u just know. Me? I have no idea. Shit. I fight with myself almost every day.
But I will say this. The next time ur at war, take a good look around and pay close attention. If ur all alone on that battlefield. If nobody's standing frontline with u. If u seem to have lost sight of what it is ur even fighting for to begin with, it's probably time to retreat ... or at the very least think of a new strategy plan. 'Cuz when it's real, u shouldn't have to fight so hard.
I was aware of Sade's new album but hadn't heard the Soldier of Love single 'till about 5 minutes ago and it's officially on repeat for the rest of the day. The blog totally wasn't inspired from it (I was actually debating on Soldier of Love or Gangster for Love but went with the war theme) but I'll take it. Sade's tax evading ass needs to come back to the Bay for a concert.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Now I don't know about u but I never saw the appeal. You mean to tell me we're now glamorizing the "mean girls" from high school that made fun of u 'cuz u couldn't afford the new Pennys, your bothers ex-girlfriend who only went out with him for his Virgin America plug, and your boss who wouldn't let u leave work early 'cuz u had a 109º fever??? 'Cuz last I remember, I wanted to throw a brick through these bitch's windshields.
Me? "I'm a nice girl, with some nice dreams." (Just don't piss me off. It takes a lot though so don't worry about it. Oh, except when I'm driving or waiting for MUNI. Then, steer clear!) I'm polite, befriend the outcasts, am tactful, and even do charity dances at the club sometimes (although I gotta be having a really, really good night). This doesn't mean I'm fake, or a pushover. It means it takes more energy for me to be mean rather than myself. I've been in a bitchy mood before, I've talked shit, and I sure as hell can act like a bitch, but I've never been a self-proclaimed, certified BITCH ... says the girl who's old MySpace user name was Bitch.Made and had "The bitch u love to hate," as my headline lol. Yah, I was frontin.
Or maybe, I was just confused. Perhaps this is where the miscommunication lies to begin with. Especially with all the different definitions of the word and the context it's used. Some people misinterpret blunt, opinionated, and strong females as being "bitches," when they're not. On the other hand, while I do appreciate and admirer raw honesty, and voicing ur opinion - sometimes that shit just ain't necessary and females need to mind their own fuckin business. 'Cuz like I once read before: Real bitches get BITCH-SLAPPED.
Some of my closest friends were bitches when I first met them *ahem* Lauren *ahem* Rach, but now that they've removed the sticks from outta their asses (and they're gonna hate me for saying this) I consider them some of the most sweetest and thoughtful individuals I've ever met. Maybe it's a defense mechanism, or maybe I just have a way with bitches lol. It's like the saying goes, "I hate bitches, but I love mine." Chances are though, if mine met themselves they sooo wouldn't be friends lol.
(I'm not in any way condoning domestic violence, so save it.)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Abi's 2009 Christmas List by Hot.Sizzle on Polyvore.com
Amazon.com: Whitmor 6579-1975 3 Tier Expandable Shoe Rack: Home &..., $23
Rubbish® Button Scarf - Accessories & Scarves - Nordstrom, $20
M·A·C Duo Fibre Face Brush #187 - - Nordstrom, $42
Canon PowerShot 10.0MP Digital Camera - Blue (SD1200 IS) : Target, $200
Apple - iPod nano - VoiceOver - A new way to navigate your music.
But of course what I'd love the most this Xmas is if you donated to one of my favorite causes: Polar Bear Conservation, Pit Bull Rescue, and Cancer Research. That's what I'll be doing!
What's topping YOUR list this year?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I definitely wouldn't be singin no goddamn songs about it in no patrol car.
I would however ...
- Piss standing up. Piss while walking. Piss into a bottle while driving my car. And I'd definitely try to write my name on the wall while pissing in an alley.
- Get shitface drunk and fuck some ugly bitch with a bangin ass body. Let's see if it's really "all the same with the lights off."
- Shave my pubes and see if it makes my hoo-hoo look bigger.
- Get into a fight ... for no reason.
- Make it rain at the Spearmint Rhino
- Participate in anything that required extreme athleticism 'cuz I'm hoping that my boy body is a lot more strong and agile than this fragile 'lil frame I'm dealing with right now.
- Enter an "all u can eat" contest .. and WIN.
- Test my alcohol tolerance
- Love to see how it feels to be a proud father holding his newborn baby for the very first time.
- See how long I could grow out my facial hair before my girlfriend leaves me or stops having sex with me.
- Free-ball it.
- Go to the gym and grunt and make funny noises while lifting weights too heavy for me. I've always wanted to do that.
- Unecessarily grab my balls. I've always wanted to do that too.
- Play my boys in Call of Duty and talk mad shit about fucking their mothers and make fun about how whooped by their girlfriends they are, almost get into a fight with them, and then call 'em up the next morning to play ball ... and probably talk more shit.
- I'd wack off at least twice a day (That's for Kaezel lol)
- Have the BEST fuckin kicks and fitted hats collection because all I'd ever buy were white tees and jeans so I could afford 'em.
- "Thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em. 'Cuz I don't fuckin need 'em. " Have 'em buy me dinner and take me to the LV store. Make 'em expendable. I want to see if it really IS that easy for some dudes to have no feelings or morals ... or heart.
Ladies, what would YOU do? And fellas, how would u flex the power of the p-u-s-s-y if u had one? No homo lol.
I used to carry a picture of AI in my wallet when I was younger. I know right? TRUST ME. I'm embarassed. Threw that away, but luckily, I kept my 76ers jersey. Can't wait to dust that baby off and force myself to fit in it again!
Thanks Gailey for the heads-up! She btw is the only woman I will say loves this man more than me lol.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, July 07, 2006
Tryna Make a Dolla Outta a Quarter Life Crisis.
Current mood: optimistic
Gettin grown is funny as hell.
When I was 11 I wanted to be 13. When I was 13 I wanted to be 16. When I was 16 I wanted to be 18. When I was 18 I wanted to be 21. And when I turned 21, I wanted to stop the hands of time. Now that I'm unwillingly approaching the big 2-5, at times I swear Lord only knows how much I wish I could go back to the days when locker room drama, deciding on baby-names for our sacks of flour, and designing the illest prom dress was the only thing stressful in my life.
Folks at work keep tellin me, "Just wait 'till u turn 30," and it's not that I'm complaining about how old or young I am...it just sucks to have to dread turning another year older to begin with. I mean aren't we supposed to rejoyce another blessed year on Earth?
Then it hit me...I bet bitch-ass Lindsay Lohan don't sulk on her birthday. Neither does P-Diddy. And it ain't 'cuz they rich either, it's 'cuz they doing big thangs. Fuck, if everyday meant achieving one more goal, laughing 3 times more, meeting another postive person, and turning dreams into money I'd be rippin pages outta my calendar too!
So now I'm looking back at my life regretting the fact that I spent so many birthdays wah-ing about all the shit I didn't get to do the year before instead of thinkin of a game plan (and actually following through with it) for the next year.
My homegirl Rachel who passed away back in 2000 was only 18 when she left us but she had just graduated high school and just got back from Hawaii. Yeah I was sad and yeah I cried, but I realized back then that she did more in her 18 years of her life than I did in my 20. And u know what? Almost 5 years later and I still believe that.
Damn the truf hurts. But it's real. Realer than house parties, realer than relationships based on comfort, and realer than MySpace. Until we recognize, realize, and accept our flaws we will never be able to grow. We'll just grow older.
So what the fuck was my point again?
Movers and shakers don't cry that shit's over, they smile 'cuz that shit happened. What did I learn this past year? Stop pointing fingers unless u finna point them to yourself. It's ok to cut people out of your life who don't contribute anything positive to it. Don't slow down for others, let them catch up instead. Talk is cheap, especially when it comes outta your own moufpiece. "If u ain't gettin hated on, then u ain't doin shit" BB$ People finna talk shit anyway so u might as well give them something to talk about. LOVE LIFE. If u don't like the way it's going, change it suckah! And lastly...
Live everyday like it's your mufuckin birthday.
I'm not perfect, so don't think I'm preaching to yall. This blog is mostly for me but yo if it motivates some of yall then good lookin out. I made sooo many mistakes and that's ok as long as u learn from em...and although its way overdue I've finally learned from them. (Yall just don't take too long now!) Yeah these are all things that I'm sure u've heard and already know. But there's a difference between "hearing," and "comprehending," naw mean? And there's a difference between "knowing," and "believing." I used to know what I'd like to do in life, and where I'd want to be, but now I actually believe...well u just wait and see.
I'm a holla back at yall on my 26th birthday with some good news...or maybe I'll be too damn busy makin that yaper and dressin T.I. to update yall.
Just read about it in the paper :o)
The Beautiful Struggle
By Talib Kweli
Release date: 28 September, 2004
*Editors Note* This was written centuries ago before I turned 25. And I didn't even start doing ANY of the things I had planned in 2006 until just a few months ago. EPIC FAIL. So don't feel bad. It's never too late to be the person u want to be.