Monday, June 29, 2009

Say What?

  • I was so tired this morning I was too lazy to put on a bra for work
  • I'm trying to convince myself that I don't need anymore sun/glasses by staring at the 9 pairs I already have that are currently collecting dust ... it's not working
  • Currently on repeat: Wale feat. Lady Gaga "Chillen"
  • I still refuse to Twitter
  • T-1 week and 3 days son!
  • Condensed milk makes everything all better

Bro's Before Hoez, Chicks Before Dicks

Like I've mentioned before, I don't run with too many females.

I have a lot of acquaintances. Dozens of friends. But only a few ladies who I can genuinely call "my girls." And even then, it ultimately comes down to autonomy. 'Cuz at the end of the day ur still all u really got.

With the exception of 2 or 3 vagina toters, my closest friends have all been dicks. Not just because I click better with dudes, and not just 'cuz I have a low tolerance for catty bitches - but mostly 'cuz the past females I've invested deep friendships with have for the most part, been disappointing.

Growing up I've come to the obvious realization that not everybody thinks the same way I do when it comes to balancing ones priorities (Duh!). And that's fine.

It's ok.

Nothin but love.

People are different.

I'm being too judgemental and needy.

I get it, I do. But while "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter," I also believe that ur friendships should matter just as much as ur relationships. And depending on the circumstance, sometimes even more. It's true, real friends can live on opposite sides of the planet, not have spoken to each other in weeks, and then still pick up right where they left off. But that doesn't mean that just because someone is within reach, we should take them for granted. If we can devote so much of ourselves to our relationships, and put so much effort into nurturing them, there should be no reason we can't do the same for our friendships. Afterall, it's ur friends who were there before, during, and after ur relationships anyway.

I appreciate all the people I've met in my life - even the bad ones (Except for my moms bastard-ass ex boyfriend Anthony Guttierez who's grave I would spit on if he died tomorow, WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH OK ANGER MANAGEMENT! lol). While I will always be one of the boys, I know that there is nothing like the bond I share with my girl friends. But perhaps, The Sims said it best when they said that:

"Friends are like plants, if u don't take care of them they wither and die."

And I could sure use a good watering.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Let the Summer Begin ...

My summer officially started last Friday w/ the Dubb fam and Sean Paul at Club Wet in San Jose. I was sweating my face off, and my hair was a nappy, damp rats nest of blonde highlights and hairspray but I had a lot of fun whinin the night away.

Me and my male pandesal model
Me and Alex

The next morning me and Kyle went on a day-trip to Lake Tahoe. I nearly punched him in the face for waking me up at 6:45am after a night of too much Hennessy and apple juice but I'm glad he did 'cuz ziplining at 55mph over Heavenly mountains shits on having a hangover at home. Unfortunately, there's no pics yet 'cuz we don't have a firewire for his handycam, but trust it was dope and surprisingly relaxing. After zip-lining, we ate lunch at Mont Bleau casino then went straight to Zephyr Cove hang out by the lake.

Keep Tahoe blue ...
...and me BROWN
My Twilight trees LOL
It was supposed to be a beautiful view,
but my camera sucks :(

The ride back home was KILLER but we made it back by midnight and had no trouble knockin the fuck out for the next day's adventures. Originally, we were supposed to attend the Gay Pride parade but my mom gave me a guilt trip for not visiting her so we spent the day loungin at her pool in Belmont. And swear it was just as hot there as it was in Tahoe.

He was being boring and didn't wanna swim anymore, wah!

"and the weather's so breezy, man why can't life always be this easy? "

(Like my bikini? Only $30 at H&M, Mickey and Minnie! I saw it 2 weeks ago but felt guilty spending money but couldn't help myself when I went again.) I swear for someone who can't swim I am such a water-baby. Now, I'm back at home trying to watch the BET awards 'cuz I'm hearin their MJ tributes were dope except tell me why BET is the only channel right now that I DON'T have volume for? WTF is that? I'm almost happy I have to leave and pick up the bf at work. Anyway, hope yall had as good of a weekend as I did!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

This is bad, real bad Michael Jackson

So unless u live under a rock 10,000 leagues under the sea or are even more of a tech-tard than I am (no ones more of a tech tard than me) u should know by now that Michael Jackson has passed away. They do say it comes in threes: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and now our beloved King of Pop. It's all so surreal.

There was a lot of controversy surrounding the mans life, and there are certain aspects of it than I do not agree with. However, nobody can deny that Michael Jackson was a pioneer and legend in the music industry.

But while his sudden death definitely comes as a shock to me, what's even more crazy is how fast the news spread thanks to technology such as MySpace, Facebook, instant messaging, and Twitter. As soon as I walked into my building from lunch it was on the news. When I sat down I was bombarded with status updates, texts messages, aims, and emails. I currently have over 3 pages worth of R.I.P. Michael Jackson headlines on FB and I've had 3 people tell me that Twitter is over capacity and they're unable to send any messages.

Jacko's death pretty much stopped the internet in its tracks. Whatever happened to picking up the phone with an "ooooh girrrrrrl did u hear?" I almost forget what we ever did before Iphones and G1s! I wonder how long it would've taken for the news to circulate without them? God forbid we actually have to talk to someone?

Anyway, that's besides the point. I was just so overwhelmed by how quickly news spread by so many people. I'm pretty sure I'll be spending the rest of the day listening to a Michael Jackson playlist along with the rest of the world.

And on that note, his death suddenly doesn't seem so sad. I don't know a single person who's a fan of music or in the entertainment industry who hasn't been influenced by him. Like I mentioned in a previous entry, people die. However, Michael Jackson's musical legacy will live forever.

On repeat tonight:

My all time favorites: The Way You Make Me Feel, Pretty Young Thing, and Rock With You.

What's yours?


"There are bloggers.
And then there are writers.
Know the difference."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Blog of the Day - THE BOOBS

I rarely give shout outs to other plugs I ain't affiliated with 'cuz 1) I'm lazy, 2) I'm picky, and 3) I'm a selfish bitch. BUT once in a while u find a diamond in the rough. A blog that combines humor, eye candy, and substance. I mean, real, intellectual, thought provoking topics. U know, like tits.

I love boobies, probably because I don't have any myself. But seriously I think I check them out just as much if not even more than my boys do. Definitely more than my bf does. While I prefer real breast, I am a sucker for a GOOD boob job. Yes, I will stare. And yes, I will ask if I can touch 'em. I honestly think God gave me these small ass B's 'cuz he knew it would've been on and poppin if they were any bigger. I most likely, would've been one of those drunk girls in Cancun on stage for the wet t-shirt contest. Except I'd actually have rhythm. Oh, and I'd probably win.

Anyway, the blog is appropriately titled THE BOOBS. And it's filled with hot bitches, hot bitches with big titties, and conjoined twins giving head. Peep game. And don't say I aint never did nothin for ya.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Love is Love. But unfortunately, not everyone recognizes that.

Everybody has their own reasons for voting Yes on Prop 8. And everyone has their own reasons for voting No.

Some vote no because they themselves are homosexual and would like the same rights as every other law abiding, tax paying citizen. Some vote no because although they have no urge to get married, they would like the option to. And some vote no not necesarily because they're for gay marriage but because they are for protecting their individual rights.

I am not the biggest gay rights advocate. I'm not marching up and down Market St. with a giant rainbow colored banner. I'm not attending City Hall meetings. And I'm not having people sign petitions. But trick luh the kids. I am a supporter of gay rights, and most importantly, a supporter of love.

I voted NO Proposition 8 because I believe the rationale being given for voting for it, is hypocritical and unjust. Point blank - it's booshit.

The Catholic church is strongly against gay marriage because "the Bible says," the holy union should only be shared between a man and a woman. Basically, God don't love the gays. And yet - u have priests who are supposed to be "messengers of God" molesting little boys behind the altar?! Are u serious? I dunno 'bout u but I rather have homosexual marriage than a dude with a white collar touching my son. At least being gay isn't something being FORCED upon the individual. BTW, I am Catholic.

Then, u have right-wing extremist trying to preserve the sanction of marriage, reasoning that it should remain sacred between a man and woman. Yet so many politicians have been caught cheating on their wives left and right. And u really wanna tell me these people value the concept of marriage?


I also voted No on Prop 8 because just like many, I have had my heart broken before. Therefore, I believe that when one finds true love, they should be able to embrace it and celebrate regardless of what gender or color they find it with. (Well, unless it's with a goat or your own child - 'cuz beastiality and incest is just gross. Sorry.)

I am strictly dickly hetero. I still feel uncomfortable when I see 2 gay men sticking their tongues down each others throats. And quite honestly, when I have children although I'll love them regardless - I would prefer their sexual preference be straight. But don't tell me to vote Yes on 8 because it's against religion and the law knowin damn well u've had sex before marriage and just ran a red light.

Click here for more info about the NO H8TE campaign.

P.S. See all u flamers and box eaters at Pride this weekend :)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Polyvore Overload

Good God I wish I actually owned all these outfits.

2 Cool 4 School

Because I'm ma'arte sometimes I would totally wear this fit to school ... if I hadn't graduated like 3 years ago lol. It's funky, fresh, but still comfortable enough to walk all around campus.

Under the Boardwalk

The perfect outfit for a day on the boardwalk in sunny Santa Cruz. The dress provides an efficient yet stylish coverup when you're not frolicking in the water in your sexy leopard print monokini. I chose comfortable gladiators for the walk up and down the strip and light makeup to provide a natural yet beautiful look under the sun. And omg how cute is that Betsey Johnson monkey ring?!

Foodgasm of the Day - Circolo

Last Friday my girl (fo'life) Karen celebrated her dirty 30 at Circolo in SF, so me and the bf decided to get there early and have dinner before the spot turned into a club. We almost changed our mind but after reading the menu earlier that day, it was pretty much an open and shut case.

I started off with a Strawberry Martini. It was perfect. Not too sweet yet not too strong.

Then, as highly recommended on Yelp, the Hawaiian white tuna ceviche w/ mango, avocado, and coconut, over crispy wontons next.

OK, holy fucking shit spring break frat party in my mouf. I was a lil' iffy about tuna ceviche since I'm so used to shrimp but I actually prefer this.

For my main entree I had the Miso-Glazed Chillean sea bass w/ forbidden black rice and Aji Amarillo Coconut sauce. I don't understand any of those words after "sea bass," but it was so good I could've been eating cardboard and not cared. The serving looks mad frou-frou but I was more than satisfied at the end of the meal.

The bf had the Grilled Angus NY Steak over peas, corn, green garlic, and bacon. He was done after the first piece so I pretty much helped him finish it up. OMG. I don't like my meat still moving around so medium rare is a stretch for me but I gobbled that shit up like it was still alive and I had to eat it before it ran away.

And for dessert, Green Tea Panna Cotta w/ Azuki Beans. So I asked the waiter what green tea panna cotta was and he replied, "Oh u know it's the green tea panna cotta." Um. OK. Thanks for the PSA. Turns out it's similar to a flan/custard mixed with gelatin. Also turns out that it cracks harrrrrd.

I forget what the bill came out to but considering the ambiance of the place and how much we ordered it definitely was nothing obscene or even typical, and most importantly it was worth it.

And once again, happy birthday to my girl Karen! Shots up!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Night at the Museum

Since it's "Fashion Friday," why not lol. Oh, and I know there's sunglasses there and the pretend function is at night ... but I'm gonna pretend I'm some big superstar and can get away with it LOL.

I would wear this on a Thursday night out with the girls. Thursday because it's pretty much the new Friday, AND because the Academy of Sciences in the city serves drinks and has a DJ after 6pm. It's Judy Jetson meets grandma and perfect for the sushi bar for some dragon rolls and sake bombs after the museum!

(I just wish those earrings didn't dangle. I'd probably just break it up and use only the top tier.)

Gym Rut

I'm 5'00" and currently weigh 113lbs. I KNOW I AM NOT FAT. But I am definitely not where I want to be physically.

A lot of people think I'm crazy just because I choose to eat a beet salad over a deep fried cheeseburger every once in a while, or want to spend a sunny afternoon running the lake instead of sitting at home with my lap top on my stomach all day. It's as if I'm being persecuted for wanting to look and feel healthy. And I can't for the life of me understand WHY.

Why is it that just because I'm not overweight, and don't have kankles or a spare tire, that I can't eat good or go to the gym without having some hatin ass ho makin a side comment or lookin at me as if I got 3 titties growing outta my forehead?

RELAX. I don't starve myself. Trust me, I couldn't even if I tried. I love all kinds of food, healthy or junk, I don't discriminate - I'm a heffer! Spicy shrimp w/ bacon and mushrooms over cheesy grits? Been there, done that! Kim-Chee-Beef Fried Rice? All day, everyday! Deep fried oreoes? Why don't mind if I do! But being that I am now 27 and don't have the lifestyle nor the metabolism I used to have when I was 21, I have to actually put in effort into maintaining a bikini ready body. Because although I am not overweight - I have gained weight, and not in the places I wish.

And that's probably the only part that sucks for me: knowing that what I once had is lost. 'Cuz if u ain't never had it before, then ain't nothing to miss. But knowing that at one point u were at the pinnacle of ur fitness but got lost somewhere in between the tiramisu, molten lava cake, coconut creme brulee, and relying on good genes sucks huevos rancheros. So because I love food too much and have no kinda diet discipline, I've come to the conclusion (for about the 9th time) that I need to stop wasting my $30 a month at Ballys and start gym'n it on the regular so I don't have to suck it in or hold my water bottle over my tummy to hide the baby pot-belly (albeit cute and squishy).

Now before u unleash ur "wtf are u talking about u skinny bitch?" wrath on me, just remember that everyone has his or her own preferences of what the ideal body is. While there are men attracted to my body type, there are just as many who think I'm way too skinny, others would like me to do some sit-ups. This is why I am a firm believer in doing things for urself and not for the acceptance or approval of others. 'Cuz just as important as looking straight Sports Illustrated status in a bikini is being able to feel great in anything, whether it be in an unforgiving Herve Leger dress or gamma's mumu. I know it sounds like a whole bunch of hippie self-help book booshit, but TRUST, there's been days where I've looked flawless but felt like the ugliest person in the world. And honestly when I was hitting the gym routinely, I really didn't see too much of a change in my appearance but I just felt better, more pro-active, and energetic.

So if you don't meet societies standards of the ideal body - who fucking cares? I'll never be that, I'm 5 feet tall for Christ's sake! And I'll never match up to the concept of my body icons either, because they're all curvaceous yet toned and athletic, and I'm petite with no hips and the torso of a 9 year old boy. Hence, I work with what I have. U don't have to work out, u don't have to wear a two-piece, u don't have to have Janet Jackson abs as long as u are happy with what u have. But what u do want, is to be able to be the healthiest 45 year old out there. U want to be able to chase an asshole down the block when he attempts to steal ur purse. And u want to be able to play around with your children, without having to see that sad look on their face when u call for an early "timeout," 'cuz ur legs, or ur lungs, or ur heart can't take it.

P.S. And for the last time people, quit getting "petite" and "skinny" mixed up.

City Chic

OK to be real honest with u, I had me, myself, and I in mind for this outfit lol. Originally, I saw the dress and thought of my friend Rach 'cuz it reminds me of a dress she already owns, but I'm not sure if she'd rock the entire outfit - I on the other hand would. If anything, I'd wear more simple earrings or keep the earrings and take out the necklace. I love adding femenine touches to rugged items, i.e. the pearls and flowers combined with the leather jacket. This outfits perfect for shopping in the city or going to class. Weather played a big part in putting this together b/c there it's rarely warm enough to ever wear a dress in SF but funky leggings, and a layered jacket allow you to wear one without having to freeze.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Poke his Face - YouTube of the Day

Even though I wish he had sang more in a woman's voice, I still love this shit. Still can't tell if he's gay or not though ... hah.

Diamond Girl

A tremendo congratulations to my little-big sister Tina aka Tee aka my Hayatee, and her new fiancee, Alex. Whom through them, I've learned to never stop loving. Tee, I love u (no homo) and wish u two nothing less than a bright and happy future together. I'm also starting a "who will cry first at the wedding," pool. Can u bet on urself?

(Sorry I couldn't make the pic any bigger wah!)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Last one ... for now

LOL. I swear has taken over my life. Once I get bored off the novelty of this site I'll only post on Fridays (Fashion Fridays as my Vegas Mary likes to call it.) Anyway, I realized that my other two looks are more edgey and for night time so I decided to put together something on the other side of the spectrum.

I saw these beautiful shoes and worked the outfit from there. I can see Jennifer Lopez (pre-Marc Anthony) wearing this to a power lunch on Ocean Dr. in South Beach, FL. Light and airy for the humid weather, with some subtle bling-blang-blao.

BTW, I love how the website mixes designer wear with everyday items we can afford. From Target, to Dolce, to Forever 21, to Marc Jacobs. They got it all!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Like a Virgin

Gail already called it. I'd be rushing home from work tonight JUST to create another make-believe outfit for my make-believe client. When I originally saw this dress it reminded me of a modern day, couture Madonna from her "Like a Virgin" video. If her and Betsey Johnson had an illegitimate love child THIS is what she'd be wearing to prom this year. Keeping it sassy while still having a romantic flair. Obviously Madonna and Betsey Johnson don't have a love child together (Although I would NOT be surprised) so who do u think could rock this get up?

P.S. I'm having the hardest time spacing everything, as the canvas on the actual website has a different appearance once I embed it into the blog, hence that empty white space on the bottom right. Seeing as I'll be playing out this website soon I should fix this problem just as soon :)

Make 'em say "Oh"

Like only Ciara can.

I've seen wardrobe swatches like this all around the way-way but never quite figured out how they did it 'cuz I refused to believe that people took the time out to photoshop it. Then, today I finally stumbled across what is apparently my newest addiction - Whoever created this website is a genius, GENUIS I SAY! They give aspiring, lazy wardrobe stylist like me a chance to shine or at least pretend they're not sitting at a desk all day m-f 9-5. In case yall don't know - fashion is my first love. Writing's just my mistress.

I would wear this exact outfit EXCEPT for the shoes. Only because I'd look like a midget prostitute from the future in them. Plus, I'm not famous. Ciara, on the other hand could totally get away with it. The inspiration for this outfit was Ciara on a casual date night to dinner and a movie. It's laid back, with a touch of sophistication and gold. Initially, I used all silver jewelry but it looked too predictable and safe - 2 things I'm sure Ciara isn't. Simple earrings to offset the layered necklace and gi-normous broach, and a mint green-ish bra to peekaboo through the grey tank because everyone loves a lil' surprise and splash of color. Our girl seems to love trendy denim and sky-high heels so I'm sure she'd rock this look. Ci-Ci if ur reading - holler at yo' girl!

Friday, June 12, 2009


It's a 'lil known fact - I love pretty girls.

Tall girls, short girls, slim girls, thick girls, hispanic girls, asian girls - it don't really matter. Long as u pretty, I could seriously stare at u all day. If ur on MySpace, most likely I'll put u under my "favorites" bookmark and check back everytime u change ur default. And if ur my Starbucks barista, I'll probably oogle at u in the corner of my eye while u make my white chocolate mocha (extra whip please).

U know how most females see a pretty bitch and immediately the claws come out because they're starving attention whores and see her as a threat? Nu-uh, not me. I'll want her to be my friend. Especially if she's nice, smart, funny, talented, and steezy too. It's refreshing. I'll probably hate her a lil' bit for being damn near perfect BUT at least I'll let her know lol. Matter fact, I'll want her to sit down at my table and talk her into being a part of my neck-breakin entourage so that I could use her to get free drinks at the bar 'cuz Lord knows I gots NO game.

I remember in college I used to always see this one chick all around campus - let's call her I dunno, Melody ('cuz I can't remember her real name for the life of me). She was super cute, a dancer, and had the funkiest style. I totally wanted to buy ourselves friendship bracelets already. Anyway, one semester I ended up having class with her and we became buddies. Everyday we'd talk shit about the cirriculum and compliment each other on our outfits. Alas, my girl crush became my girl friend.

My boyfriend (at the time) on the other hand, made the typical "Ooh so y don't u kiss her then," jokes. And in no way was he trying to imply we have some sort of threesome 'cuz he knew he'd get five fingers to the face instead, but he just found it odd that I was jockin this chick - yet wasn't in any way attracted to her. So fellas put away the Lubriderm and hand towel 'cuz this aint no freaky tale, it ain't even like that.

I may have grabbed a fake boob here and there to see how saline felt, or called a bitch "hot," but that's about the extent of it all. Never have I pulled a Katy Perry, not even for fun. Not even outta curiousity. Not even drunk at the club in front of a camera just to get attention from dudes (Hah I know yall know what I'm talkin about). I totally see the appeal of 2 women kissing and sometimes even think it's hot, but do I want to partake? Not really. One time my boy Tino took me to Showgirls and bought me a lapdance from my favorite dancer ('cuz she was pretty and had the best moves) and I just sat there hella awkward like "ummm I have my own titties I really don't need urs," and gave him the last half of the dance. Needless to say that was the night my hetero was confirmed.

But perhaps this is yet another reason why I love being a female, despite that 1 week outta the month i mentioned in this previous post. The society we live in (fortunately and unfortunately) has made it more acceptable for women to feel this way towards other women without classifying them as box eaters, whereas, men can only get away with so much. It's a sad truth of stereotypes and double standards but it's the truth nevertheless.

And I'm glad, because I think women are beautiful creatures. I am in awe every time I'm in the presence of a truly inspiring one. And while I hate bitches, I genuinely adore mine. I love women, I really do. No homo.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Rihanna's career has definitely come a long way since Pon de Replay and so has her steez. I also think she's one of the very few women who can work the shit out of a boycut and actually looks better with short hair. From the block to the red carpet she stays on point (usually lol). She can pull off almost any look and is always cutting edge. A definate style icon in my book. She may have a poor choice in men, but thankfully not in clothing. (Click on smaller images to expand)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


In exactly a month I'll be reunited with my Mary's in the city of sin and skin: Las Vegas, and I cannot wait! It's very rare I get to see these two so I treasure every liver damaging moment I get to spend with them. During a very low part of my life, they still made me feel high. Love u bitches. The Bellagio fountain/lake ain't ready!!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Don't Waste the Pretty Pt. 2

I ain't even gonna front. I can be as shallow as a kiddie pool at times. U ain't gotta lie to kick it - looks DO matter. And anyone who begs to differ is either ugly or sellin u some VIP ass wolf tickets.

Fellas, when u see a female sittin at the bar, what possesses u to come outta pocket and buy her a chilled shot of Goose? (Asides from the perv in u hoping she gets tipsy enough to rub her ass all over ur crotch?). And ladies, why'd u just give ur number out to a complete stranger in the middle of the Prive dancefloor knowin damn well u ain't never gonna see him again? Whatever the reason is, I got 5 on it that it wasn't 'cuz of their "beautiful inner personality" shining thru his buff ass arms or creepin through her cleavage. People DON'T PLAY.

Whatever ur preference or definition of "beauty" is: looks still matter. However, they will only get u so far (At least with me anyway). A person's physical appearance is what initially attracts me to them, but it definitely isn't what makes me stay.

While a certain "je ne sais quoi" can contribute to one's appeal, their personality, or rather lack there of, can take away from it as well.

I may notice an "ok" looking dude sit next to me in english lit. but never think anything of him until I look over in the middle of class and notice him sketching out an ill ass portrait of Angelina Jolie. And if there's ONE characteristic that makes me and my girls' heart melt and panties drop - it's humor. It ain't everything, but it really does go a looong way. If a man is constantly putting a smile on my face I'll probably be too busy laughing to notice he's not as tall as I usually like 'em or has slightly crooked teeth (aye I said SLIGHTLY only lol).

On the other hand, "the prettiest people do the ugliest things." I know way too many men who are a waste of dick because they're too into themselves, obnoxious, or plain and simply boring. And no matter how beautiful u are, no real man will take u seriously if ur a female who always sells urself short or can't carry on a conversation for longer than 5 minutes.

But most of all, being beautiful has NO guarantees.

It doesn't guarantee love, or happiness, or success, or prosperity. It doesn't guarantee u'll never get hurt, or left, or abused, or cheated on. No matter how beautiful u are, there will always be someone just as good looking if not better. And u already know ur exes new man/lady can't hold a candle to ur Colgate smile, but s/he's still with them and not u, so in many circumstances looks are irrelevant. Besides, other people can think the world of u, but if u ain't got the right mind set to genuinely agree with them it doesn't matter. So u may wanna hold off before asking God to trade in ur intelligence or talent for an ass u can sit ur cup on or washboard abs.

'Cuz newsflash: people get old ... in more ways than one. So trust me when I say that it ain't gonna be ur sagging Amazon titties or ur NeYo receding hairline that keeps u living comfortably and happily married.

Monday, June 8, 2009

UP in 3D

Is the best movie ever! But it made me cry more than I did in The Notebook WTF? LOL. And it definitely didn't help out my fear of getting older and dying AT ALL. But it was witty, funny, and taught a great lesson both adults and kids could relate to, understand, and appreciate. I give it "2 snaps, a twist, and a kiss!"

Saturday, June 6, 2009


In case yall never read my "Ga-Ga for Ga Ga" post, I am a huge fan of hers. She never ceases to amaze me with her edgy style and risque flavor. One of my favorite songs off her album is "Paparazzi," 'cuz it has the cutest melody and it reminds me of Robert Pattinson LOL. I saw the video for the very first time today. I PROMISE she is from another planet. Video's a little OUT THERE but I love the black dominatrix look she rocks on the solo couch scenes. Only Ga Ga could get away with this shit. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for her and hope her longevity in the music game parrallels that of Madonna's.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Life After Death.

Do u ever wonder how it feels to be dead?

I do.

And sorry for being so morbid on such a lovely Friday morning but after reading something my girl Jayne wrote (FYI this bitch can BLOW!) a few days ago I was totally taken back to the days when death was my biggest fear.

It all started when I was still in elementary school. Me and my mom visited the Philippines (PI) for the first time since moving from there to SF when I was 2. My real family lived there. My uncle that would bring me on his bike to the corner store to play Super Mario Bros. on NES, and my grandmother who would boil hot water on the stove just so I wouldn't have to take cold showers. As well as my other uncle, my grandpa, and 2 little cousins. The Philippines was where I was loved and spoiled. Despite the living situation and poor economy, never were people so giving and caring towards me.

Which is why I was more than a mess when I had to go back home. I would lay in bed staring at my stuffed animals wishing they were my family in PI. Then I would think of my grandparents and and cry at the thought of them getting old and frail. Would my grandpa still be able to carry me on his shoulders the next time I see him? Would my grandma still have the energy to get up every morning and make me warm milk? (Told u I was spoiled lol). I want to cry just writing about it.

It was then that I came to the realization that one day, we will all die.
And so began the ghastly obsession.

How does it feel to be dead? Is it just an eternity of seeing nothing but the darkness of ur closed coffin? O wait. I wouldn't know 'cuz DUHHH I'm dead! Does it hurt? Does it feel good? Do u go to heaven? Do u end up in purgatory? Do u go to hell? Is there really such thing as any of the above? What's the deal with reincarnation?
Then, came the anxiety attacks. Oddly enough, they always came on beautiful days.

I'll never get to feel the sand squish in between my toes on Kailua Beach ever again. I'll never be able to look at my mom and admire her beauty ever again. I'll never be able to sip bloody mary's by the pool and share laughs with my girlfriends ever again. I'll never be able to feel my puppy's playful licks on my face ever again. I'll never be able to drunk fountain jump in Vegas ever again. I'll never be able to wake up in his "nook" ever again. I'll never be able to night kayak in bioluminescent waters ever again. I'll never feel the cold, crisp air at the very top of a Heavenly sky lift ever again. I'll never feel the warm Puerto Rican sun kiss the back of my neck ever again. I'll never be able to taste kim-chee beef fried rice or spicy shrimp over cheesy grits ever again. I'll never watch an over-priced movie and eat over-priced popcorn at a movie theater ever again. I'll never be able to watch a Giants baseball game in the best ballpark in the best city in the world ever again. I'll never be able to see my family in the Philippines ever again.

I'll never hear another baby giggle. See another friend smile. Seek comfort from my mother. Kiss my boyfriend. Write a blog. Sing a song. Do the robot. Design a dress. Read a book. Cry from laughing. Or dream a dream. Ever. Again.

Fucked up ain't it?

What's even more fucked up is the fact that I'm scared to shit of ghost. When I don't even know if they exist. When I've never encountered one myself. But u figure, it would be a good thing because that would mean there IS life after death. So in a sense, I kind of hang on to that absurd yet comforting thought. And check myself for being so ungrateful when I wake up in the morning.

That despite every moment of anguish, struggle, and heartache - I am lucky to be loved, have a roof over my head, clothes on my body, be in good health, and in the prescence of amazing people. And most of all, lucky to be alive. I realized the more attention I paid to death, the less attention I paid to life. So as cliche as it sounds, make the most of the time u have here on Earth 'cuz u never know when ur last day on it will be.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Say Hello to Frankie Robinson

Old habits die hard, and despite using Macs all throughout college due to my major, I am a die hard PC girl. But the masses say Macs are the only way to go in regards to anything design related. I know I should be a leader and not a follower but 2 of my friends who are successful graphic/fashion designers are Mac owners so how dare I question the authority. Plus, I ain't gonna lie - they're cuter than most laptops and the vanity in me needs photobooth. Now once I get my Wacom tablet, I'll no longer have any excuse to be a deadbeat. I can't wait!

Thank u to the puppy and the mama puppy, I'll make yall proud and put this shit to good use!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Word to Your Mother.

"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." ~Mary Manin Morrissey

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dirty Little Secret.

I have NO idea how I didn't turn into a slut.

I never had a male figure in my life to greet my potential boyfriends at the door with a shotgun, my mom never gave me the "birds and the bees" speech, and I had my Ken doll bangin every Barbie I owned back when I was still in elementary school. By the time I hit the 6th grade, I moved onto bigger thangs, put down the dolls and secretly dipped into my cousin's porn stash.

I remember sneaking into his closet when he wasn't home, watching whatever vhs tapes (lmao) I found, and then rewinding that bitch right back to where it left off and carefully placing them back in his drawer making sure no crease, fold, angle, or speck of dust was out of place. OMG I am more than embarassed thinking about it now. But back then, watching porn was like seeing a fuckin unicorn. And knowing that I was too young to have sex just made me fantasize about it even more.

So rest well men of the universe - there are women out there who not only watch porn, but enjoy it as well. (Pshhh, and u thought we were all against u.) My fascination with porn has went down significantly since infiltrating my cousin's secret stash but I am still one of the few outta my friends who actually watch it with and without her man. Most of my girls watch it with their partner to either make them happy or to get them in the mood. Others watch it in a group to make fun of fake accents and crooked dicks. However, we all agreed on the following:

Fellas if ur thinkin of gettin seXXXy with ur lady, or females if u wanna try sumthn new, take notes. U might thank me for it 1 gangbang and 2 threesomes later.

  • Nothing CRUCIAL - PUT DOWN THE 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP NOW!!! We understand there are some people into that kinda shit ... ew no pun intended ... but the vagina's have spoken and we ain't tryna see no extreme s&m, beastiality, midget sex, gay males (trick luh the kids but i ain't tryna watch them get down), or extreme fetishes.
  • Cut to the chase - Hunk of a man meets hottie of a chick. They get nekkid. They have mind-blowing sex. That's all the story line we really need. If u MUST include some role playing. A girl dressed up as a nurse and a guy dressed up as a Doctor and then them bonin on a gurney is just fine but please, no medical terms or fake diagnosis. We don't care about the Japanese exchange student who falls asleep masterbating, or the dumb blonde who accidentally stumbles into a mechanics garage and offers bj's in exchange for car parts.
  • Short and sweet - Like I said, I'm down with porn BUT I get bored pretty easily. There's only so much we can watch before we figure, "Dude we have better sex than they do can we just get down to biniss already?" And after a while it all starts to look the same anyway. So I suggest a nice, concise, action packed clip. Just like with everything else - quality over quantity.
  • I'm shallow - I know, I'm a horrible person. Whatever. Leave me alone. But I really ain't tryna watch no ugly, old, or obese people having sex. Which is why a lot of my friends have agreed that they prefer girl on girl porn. 'Cuz otherwise, they usually have some hot lil' brazillian getting fucked by a greasy, balding, beer bellie'd Ron Jeromy type and that is one quick way to turn us the fuck off. We all have our preferences though. Girl on girl is coo but then it has me feeling uncomfortable after a while so I needs to see some real penetration eventually. So when at all possible, make sure the porn has good looking people in it.
  • Misc. - Not too big on masterbation, blow job, or dome shot scenes. Honestly, all I end up staring at is the girls makeup or her nails. Or how that shit must sting when it gets in ur eye. Or how I wish I had taken a picture in front of Jacob Black's house when we visited the New Moon set in Vancouver. See what I mean? I lose interest QUICK. Also, we don't need any big stars involved. These aren't Academy Award winning films we're talkin 'bout here so we don't care who's in it. Most of the mainstream girls are bootsy anyway. My faves Tera Patrick and she always looks bored as shit when she's gettin dicked down so no thank u.
  • Lastly - No I don't think watching porn is considered "cheating."

And there u have it. My guideline to a successful and pleasurable porn watching session from me and my girls' perspective. Please believe everyone is different though. And always know, that the best porn is the one u make urself ;oP