Last night, I got one of the most AMAZING emails ever. It read:
"That is what I get when I read your words. Like... I find myself falling in love with love. As if it were this great piece of historic literature on romance... or a brilliant movie in the same genre (romance). That has never occurred before in my life with random words. And it is very powerful and has such an influential impact. I absolutely love that it makes me think... feel... hope. It is rather marvelous Abi."
Now I promise I didn't share that with you to fish for more compliments due to my ever increasing ego, but rather because I am unbelievably humbled. Because with each flattering comment or heartfelt email I get, I am more and more grateful. And I'll tell you why.
Growing up, I always loved writing. But it wasn't until online social networking began that I became deeply touched by other people's words. Before I found my own voice (and this thing called blogging) I would get chain emails with gems like Balcony Seats, and read inspiring MySpace headlines like, "Don't wish it were easier, Wish you were better," or, "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end." And whenever I'd read something that especially touched me, emotion would spill. I'd want to cry or laugh or break something. But what I'd really want to do was meet the author.
I wanted to meet the person be their friend and say, "Hey, get the fuck outta my head!" Or at the very least, give them a hug and say "THANK-YOU." Thank-you for letting me know I'm not alone. Does any of this sound familiar? It should, because it's some of the same things yall say to me. So you see, there is nothing special about me or this blog. There is nothing different between you and I.
Almost a year ago today, I was in probably the greatest depression I've ever felt in my life. I spent my Christmas with my mom watching Avatar, but before the movie started she ate at Mel's. And I say she, because I could not eat. And had not eaten for 3 days. I felt hopeless. And thinking positive was synonymous to seeing a pig fly. So for me to get that email yesterday saying I gave someone HOPE of all things is RIDICULOUS to me right now. I repeat FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
I never let the comments I get from readers get to my head. NEVER. Because everytime you say that I've helped you, please know you've helped me as well. Everyday I am overwhelmed and appreciative by the fact I am able to evoke emotion from strangers, even negative ones. That's all I could really ask for as someone who loves to write (asides from a BOOK DEAL *ahem* someone? anyone? lol). It validates NOT that I am a writer, but that I can do something I love and share it with others and help or entertain them along the way. It's a pretty sweet deal if I do say so myself.
So "Thank-you thank you thank you, you're far too kind. Hold your applause, this is your song not mine." Because as much as yall may like my shit? Some of the best stuff I've ever read has came ... from YOU.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
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earlier this year, I was going through a great depression as well. And it's funny because your blogs couldn't have came at a better time. the day you posted "Lost and Found" was the day we gave each other's things back and the last day i ever saw him. when I got home afterwards, I read your blog and cried even more! I was going to e-mail you one day but I was too shy. haha Keep writing...you and rachael absolutely made a huge impact in my life. thank you for saving my sanity.
just wanted to say i got a bunch of blogs of my reader, but i always look forward to reading yours and jozens the most.
you really do have an extraordinary voice. everything you write about I can relate to and it definitely brings a new perspective. thank you:)
ah, i totally second what anonymous said.
it was like we went through the same experience at the same time. and nothing made me feel better about my situation than those posts written in last december. although they felt like a dagger to the heart, they were exactly what i needed at the time.
and i'm so happy to see you so happy now. =D
oh, i think i saw you at tres agaves during the first game of the world series. i would've said hi, but it was so super crowded in there and i was shy. hahaha, next time i run into you in the city, i'll definitely say hi!
anon - yah, sometimes u just need to cry it out. i'm glad it helped. lost and found is one of my faves :)and i'll relay the msg to rach, i'm sure she'll appreciate it tons.
j.l. - can i say i LOVE it that a man actually reads my blog AND likes it? lol. btw i gotta comment on ur blog, shit is fuckin HILARIOUS.
audrey - you're very welcome my dear :)
linh - YES that was me! that shit was RIDICULOUSLY packed. my tiny ass almost fell into that potted plant next to me 5 times lol. next time tho don't be shy, my drunk ass would've probably given u a hug haha.
Seriously, I second, third and FOURTH what everyone all up in here has said. Discovered you off Hellz Bellz and I've been clicking away at all of your blogs ever since. :)
I also blog and id like to tell you thank you. Yes, thank you. I recently started reading your blog and I was blown away like WOAH! I love this stranger :) she's like an older sister I've never met. That, must I say would love to meet and have her sign her book for me. Anyway, point is you gave me inspiration when I was down in the slums looking for words to feed people that needed help. I directed them to you. And said, here...I'm lost but she's on some real shit. Praise her. So, keep doing this. I know, I know you hear it from everyone but you...you have IT! By the way please tell me you and Racheal are gonna tag team this bitch and write a book? Let my friends that crowd my computer have an eyegasm. *crossinourfingers* And, someday I hope to follow in your footsteps cuz girl, you've touched my heart when people ran from that mothafucka. Much love from anonymous in phoenix. You have major fan base here :)
@janet - hiiii! just to let u know i do start to remember u once u frequently comment on my blog. thanks for that and thanks for ur continuous support!
@ralphie - ok i cry now! lol. thanks for such kind words. i've actually been wanting to visit arizona, during spring training specifically. anyway, as much as i love writing, i love reading and i got a chance to read some of ur posts. so likewise, keep writing and i promise people will keep on reading! love the pic of u and ur baby btw!
and i'll pass on the word to rach ;)
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