Vagina Monologues

"Last night I masturbated to porn starring a guy that looked just like him. THIS IS ALL BAD. Same facial structure, same body type. Even their fucking penis was the same size. I swear my vagina hopped in my car and drove to his house. I HAD A FUCKING OUT OF VAGINA EXPERIENCE. I believe it's still there right now. Remind me to call a cab for it later 'cuz it would be too risky if I went and picked it up myself."

LMAO, this bitch.