If I were a Boy ...

... even just for a day ...

I definitely wouldn't be singin no goddamn songs about it in no patrol car.

I would however ...

• Piss standing up. Piss while walking. Piss into a bottle while driving my car. And I'd definitely try to write my name on the wall while pissing in an alley.
• Get shitface drunk and fuck some ugly bitch with a bangin ass body. Let's see if it's really "all the same with the lights off."
• Shave my pubes and see if it makes my hoo-hoo look bigger.
• Get into a fight ... for no reason.
• Make it rain at the Spearmint Rhino
• Participate in anything that required extreme athleticism 'cuz I'm hoping that my boy body is a lot more strong and agile than this fragile 'lil frame I'm dealing with right now.
• Enter an "all u can eat" contest .. and WIN.
• Test my alcohol tolerance
• Love to see how it feels to be a proud father holding his newborn baby for the very first time.
• See how long I could grow out my facial hair before my girlfriend leaves me or stops having sex with me.
• Free-ball it.
• Go to the gym and grunt and make funny noises while lifting weights too heavy for me. I've always wanted to do that.
• Unecessarily grab my balls. I've always wanted to do that too.
• Play my boys in Call of Duty and talk mad shit about fucking their mothers and make fun about how whooped by their girlfriends they are, almost get into a fight with them, and then call 'em up the next morning to play ball ... and probably talk more shit.
• I'd wack off at least twice a day (That's for Kaezel lol)
• Have the BEST fuckin kicks and fitted hats collection because all I'd ever buy were white tees and jeans so I could afford 'em.
• "Thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em. 'Cuz I don't fuckin need 'em. " Have 'em buy me dinner and take me to the LV store. Make 'em expendable. I want to see if it really IS that easy for some dudes to have no feelings or morals ... or heart.

Ladies, what would YOU do? And fellas, how would u flex the power of the p-u-s-s-y if u had one? No homo lol.