Monday, February 28, 2011

Friendless Competition

I like how I had an entirely different blog about my experience with interracial dating all drafted up and ready to go until I heard the song below and quickly changed moods like the bi-polar bitch I am. Anyway ...

Some people find it hard to believe that women with similar interest and goals can't be friends, what more the best of friends. Because we are too competitive to support one another or too catty, and jealous to genuinely look out for the best interest of our girls. And this can be true. But at some point in ones life, or at least in mine, you learn to look at the bigger picture.

In case yall forgot, I write for another blog called I remember the first time our stats were ridiculous enough for us to send out a mass celebration email, we became obsessed with numbers. So much that it began to take away from the quality of our posts. While it's always good to check out the competition, when it gets to a point where you're only doing something for the sole purpose of being better than others, your work loses its integrity and the passion is lost. As soon as we decided to not pay attention to the stats and go back to the basics, our readership increased. Coincidence? I personally think not.

I'm not gonna lie, I've read plenty of articles by women and men, and thought to myself, "Witty asshole, why didn't I think of that?" And yes, I do use that as fuel to be a better writer. But not in the sense where I'm constantly comparing myself to others or trying to be better than them. That's not the point. Because no matter how hard I try, I will never be her or him or them. Why the fuck would you want to be anyone else but a better version of yourself anyway?

No matter how much you click with someone else, no matter how similar you and your bff dress, and no matter how often the two of you finish each others sentences, you are still two different people, with two different brains, and two different hearts, that will never agree on every single thing. You may have the same destination, but different ways of getting there. The same dreams, but different realities. And the more you waste your time competing and comparing, the less time you spend achieving.

It's understandable and only right to help yourself before you attempt to help others. Like on airplanes when they tell you to put on your mask before aiding someone else with theirs. I love my friends, but at the end of the day I will always look out for myself first. Is it selfish? Maybe. Is it necessary? Sometimes. Is it the truth? FOR SURE.

However, my friends are only milliseconds behind. "You know if I ball, then we all go'n stunt." But more than wanting to be able to take care of the people I love, I want them to be successful and take care of themselves. There are ways to climb to the top without stepping all over people and throwing them under the bus. Find them.

'Cuz as much as I want the shine, it gets hot under the sun. And as high as I wanna get? It's going to be twice as lonely on the top. Poppin bottles ain't as fun if you're the only one drinking.

And yeah this song has nothing to do with the post with the exception of that one line but peep it anyway lol. Actually, peep the official video instead. Cassie is too gorgeous in it and I love her outfit in the beginning. "Suede Tims on my feet make the cypher complete ..." Even though they're actually made outta nubuck ... just sayin lol.


Bubz said...

i would hate to have you as a friend :[... b-tches can't be trusted! thanks, now i will attempt to enact the girl power movement.

Mouf.Peace said...

aw mama! don't get it twisted, not everyone deserves your friendship. i've been burnt plenty of times and i'm sure i've pissed people off myself. remember, trust is earned not given. all i'm sayin is do things u love as much as u can bc u love it. when competition takes over 100% ur "love" loses its integrity and passion. what's the point without the two?