Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Epic O

For years I've heard about the "Epic O."

You know, that orgasm so good you black out momentarily? That orgasm so good you can't function waist down for the next few seconds? That orgasm so good it made the clouds part and unicorns appear? Well, I once had an orgasm so good that when I was done, I wanted to punch the face of the man who gave it to me. Yah, that good lol.

And an Epic O will make us do some crazy shit. Like be late for work. Or call in sick. Or leave your best friends party. Or drive 45 minutes and over a bridge at 2 in the morning. Or how about write an entire blog about it? There's lots of things great sex may make me do, but no O will ever be so Earth shattering that it will justify me staying in a relationship I'm not happy in.

Yet I've seen exactly that growing up. On tv, the big screen, books, magazines, and even through friends: Sex so good it makes people forgive, compromise themselves, and settle.

I never say never. Because, you never really know until you're in the situation. But there are just a few things I know I couldn't tolerate. A few girls I could never be. And a few things I could never do. Staying with a man despite unforgiving circumstances just because the D is so good is one of those things.

I'd be more the type to stay for the hand holding. For the drives along Highway 1 in 80 degree weather. For the tipsy conversations in the Shark Tunnel. For the shoulder sniffs and sunsets in Half Moon Bay. For the company.

Which unless you're staying because you're holding HER hand, riding in HIS car, conversing with HIM, and sniffing HER shoulder specifically - can be just as bad. If you can take "him" or "her" and substitute it with a different name without flinching, then more than likely you're staying (or not leaving) for all the wrong reasons. Because just like the D (and the P), "he" or "she" can easily be replaced.

So look at your situation, ask yourself some questions, and weigh things out. Giving up THE Epic O may result in one crying for their vagina as they masturbate at night, but it's better than crying over broken promises or unmet expectations. 'Cuz then the Epic O turns into the Epidemic O. And trust me, you never want to see those two words in the same setence. Ever.

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