We have to remember that while people strive to change for the better, people can and will change for the worse. Nobody is who they seem.
The most beautiful woman in the world can look at herself in the mirror and truly believe she is ugly. And that man who once looked at u like u were his world one day, can just as easily look at u as his bootycall the next.
It gets confusing. And we easily get so blinded by love and clouded by negative thoughts that the bigger picture is never in plain view. But it is imperative for us to differentiate who we are dealing with. It's vital to our sanity, and most of all - our hearts.
So before u let that next tear roll down that cheek of urs, remind urself that u are about to cry for a man who no longer exists - a complete stranger. This man is everything he loathed, everything he talked shit about, and everything he swore he'd never be. Still don't believe me? BELIEVE IT. 'Cuz this man is not worth ur tears, and the man who is? The man he used to be? Well he would never, ever make u cry to begin with.
I'm sure the guy who wore fake eyelashes for u and only u just to make u laugh is still in there somewhere. But let him go find himself, 'cuz it ain't up to u to resurrect the dead. 'And by then u'll have found that amazing woman u swear has disappeared as well.
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6 comments:
I had never even been aware of the whole blogosphere until one day my friend who knew I was going thru it sent me something last summer that you wrote. As I read it (copied and pasted in an email) I thought this must have been a published on paper kinda thing BUT it wasn't. Since then I have been "following" your blog even tho I don't have my own and I don't really look into blogs period. But seriously your words and everything on your blog really truly and oddly lift me up. I look forward to what you put up next because they hella speak to me and they are so REAL. Everyone else comments that they feel you or you're speaking about exactly what they're going thru and the way you put it out makes it so much easier to believe that we aren't alone. That 5 minutes of reading your posts, whether it makes me laugh, cry, or feel the relief that someone out there understands, makes a difference even if it is just 5 minutes. I've always wondered if I should say a quick "hey thanks" lol but after this I knew it is about damn time. Everything you put up has helped me so much in what I'm going thru that its ridiculous bc I don't even know you! But this one especially touched my aching heart. I find that all of the stuff you say is like what a best friend wishes they could permanently remind someone who is hurting in the same situation. Its funny how everything you say sometimes can be interpreted perfectly to where I'm at right now so instead of just a quick "hey thanks" here is my novel of gratitude. :) Thanks for all the insight, encouragement and everything.
and now my ego is big enough to be my +1 at the club this weekend lol jk! awwwwwww. seriously though, i read this comment last night and started crying. that's all i ever wanted, to let people know they are never alone. EVER. so so SOOO grateful for your comment. i'm glad i could help u out, even if for just 5 minutes lol. xoxoxo.
I also like the post and your writing. BUT what if he's not lost, what if he has found himself, he tries to reach out and start to build something back? Your shutting yourself out. No more? If it was so good why not try? Just a thought.....
anonymous - u make a good point, but i think every situation is different. and only the two people involved will be able to recognize the person that once was. if the change or self-realization is genuine and the love is still there, i don't see why it couldn't work or at least y they couldn't try. but it all depends. sometimes the "new" person can cause pain that not even the "old" person they used to be can make go away.
Or maybe the person hasn't really changed at all and all they do is want the other back but is scared... ? Maybe they want to start working on things and try 2 get things back?
Dear Abi,
I've read this post about 10 million times and I have to say it has helped me tremendously. I am going through a very tough time right now and though it kills me, you remind me that my happiness is more important than some boy that wont answer calls/ texts/ tweets (I'm slightly cray-cray). Your blog has shown me that love, though elusive can and will happen at the right time. I can't tell you how much this blog has helped, because its hard for someone like myself, "a non-writer", to articulate those kinds of feelings in writing. I've followed you since early fall, and thouh I've only been on board for a short while, I have to say that this blog, your posts, and your writing, as with the person above, has kept me sane through a very difficult 6 months of my life. Yes- I had help along the way, but your stories and insight let me know that someone out there knows how I'm feeling- even if at times I feel all alone. So, thank you. For being the person you are and for helping me.
PS: Don't stop writing! When I saw your "permanent hiatus" post, I nearly died.
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