aka Lost and Found pt. 2
Now, I've held off from advocating this method of "healing," because I would never encourage acting out of fear or anger. But so many of u have asked, and when ur mind has moved on but ur heart refuses to let go - we go to war with ourselves. And I'd hate to see any of u go through that. I would never wish that upon anyone, nobody deserves it. We'd like to be patient, and we'd love to look for the greater good in people. But when shit hits the fan and ur sanity has already been compromised, we do what we gotta do.
So what do I suggest yall do?
U become The Great Pretender and LIE. Lie ur broken and bruised little heart out.
Tell urself that yes it was that serious to get other people involved just so u can give in and s/he can get the simple satisfaction of knowing s/he still got u. That it was all games - nothing more, nothing less.
Tell urself, yes u should've walked away and never looked back.
U tell urself that there is a difference between being scared and being a coward - and honey, s/he is NOT scared.
Pretend that that tiny glimpse of hope was just a reflection of that shattered image of the past. A past that (u guessed it) no longer exists.
Pretend that she doesn't care. That ur just another dude. Just another convenience. Just another number on her call log.
Believe all the rumors, negativity, and assumptions. Believe the crazy. Believe the haters. Believe ur girls that want to cut his balls off or ur boys that wanna back hand that bitch in the face. Believe them when they say he's fucking her, and her, and her, and YOU.
Tell urself that u will move on. That this isn't love. That there is someone out there for each of us and it ain't that person ur dealing with right now. That sooner than u think it will be as if s/he never existed. That u deserve to be happy and loved, therefore, u will be happy and loved. That per my girl Tee, relationships don't work out for 1 of 2 reasons: they're not the right one, or it's just the wrong time. Now only remember the first part. That per my girl Rach: "there are 2 types of people in the world. there are the ones who just don’t know any better. and then there are the ones who do, but do the fucked up thing anyway," and s/he is the latter.
Tell urself that the man who gave u the best Christmas, and only Valentine's Day just killed Santa and shot Cupid. Tell urself that not only is the man he used to be lost, but he is gone forever and never coming back.
Remind urself that "the only people u need in ur life are the ones who need u in theirs." Now tell urself s/he doesn't need u in theirs.
Tell urself: "Hang out with the wrong crowd, wrong path. Love the wrong person, wrong path. Surround yourself with successfull people, and you too will succeed. "
And lastly, u front like they don't love u. And while ur at it, tell urself that they never did.
Because u know what? U don't really need to "pretend." More than likely, all of the above is true.