Monday, November 23, 2009

Miss Understood

So. Word around town is I'm a "man-hater." Of course, only "men" are labeling me this. And I was always the friend my girls boyfriends hated them going out with, just because I believed in having a life that didn't revolve around their mans schedule or availability. But the funny part is, even when I tried to be one, I just ended up hating myself instead. So now I'm trying to figure out what part of my blog leads people to make this inference to begin with, because asides from the actual title which I understand could be misinterpretted, I can't for the life of me find a reason why.

Am I a man-hater because I wrote about how I have penis envy? Perhaps it was the blog about how to be a good wing-woman to your best guy friend? Or mmmaybe it was my 500 Days of Summer post where I broke the vagina code and blatantly professed every woman's genuine longing to be in love? It's kind hard to hate on men, when my closest friends are chorizo toters.

Oh. I know ...

It must be the fact that I encourage everyone (not just women) to be alone but not lonely. It's because I suggest having dreams, and goals that no horrible break up or even wonderful relationship can get in the way of. It's because I'm honest, but considerate. Brash, but sensitive. Nasty, but a lady. Fair and understanding but allergic to incompetence. Because ultimately, I encourage readers to be individuals before attempting to "complete someone else" and vice versa.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Just because I don't tolerate ignorance and immaturity from anyone - it doesn't mean I'm a man-hater. It simply means I'm a bull-shit hater. Now if the word "bull shit" is synonymous to the word "men" in ur book ... well then maybe you have the issue not me. If anything, I'm looking out for the well being of the fellas just as much as the females. Because when I tell the ladies not to act all crazy and shit, it's ur smashed headlights, slashed tires, and broken windows lives I'm saving.

I do not claim I know everything, I only speak from experience. Whether it be of mistakes, conquests, heart ache, or bliss. If this voice is too loud, don't turn me down. Turn to the next station. I'm not on ur side. But I'm not on hers either. I try to remain as neutral as possible. However, I'm also aware that as much as "one of the boys" I am, I was born with this thing called estrogen that makes me cry during sad movies and squeal at the sight of a walk in closet.

One day I actually went through old posts (and good God I need a "search" option on this bitch) and tried to find something that screamed "I HATE PENIS!" but came up empty handed. So if u still think I'm a "man-hater" it's probably because ur insecure, controlling, and have an inferiority complex. Which in that case, u have nothing to worry about. U probably aren't a real "man", so I wouldn't hate u anyway.

Thanks to Ne-Yo and Webbie, Miss Independent's are seen as women who can handle their own, like to front the bill, and don't need help from men. They push Benz's, have $10k+ credit card limites, and got a mortgage to pay. Unfortunately, that's not me. Nice goal to work towards though. But in my case, I'm sinply - Miss Understood. So let me break it down one last time:

I am a hopeless romantic. I am utterly inspired by the thought of being being in love with someone ala Bella and Edward, I'm just sayin love urself too. I believe in catering to ur man because they deserve it. And treating him like a King because u are his Queen. I don't want to wear the pants in the relationship. I want to be able to wear a mini-skirt without my man threatening to break up with me because of it.


I may ask for alone time, but that doesn't mean I don't want u in my life.
I may want to have girl days, but u'd be the only man I spend my nights with.
I may deny ur help sometimes, but I am still more than grateful that u offered.
I may not be afraid to speak my mind, but I won't be afraid to tell you I love you either.
And I may not need u in my life, but what matters is I want u to be.


DJ CMC said...

thats awesome...

but already knew all that...

BetseyJ said...

I have a tattoo that says "maneater" you can only imagine the comments I get about that.


Anonymous said...

I'm singing right now, and the lyrics consist of "i love you" about a million and a half times... and then some. I love this, because most people—mostly men—misinterpret your intentions of this blog but us ladies know its for the best of us :)I love your blog & will forever read it! Don't alternate it in any which way possible! Unless its to improve ;D

Mouf.Peace said...

@ christian that's why we're friends!

@ betsey that is DOPE lol. where is it? i notice ur dessert tats the most. well duh. 'cuz i'm a heffer!

@ connie ur so cute i was totally reading, trying to figure out what song it would be haha. i fail. anyway thnx so much for those motivating words, i definitely write for my readers just as much as i write for myself :)