Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Eye of the Cougar

Not sure if ur aware of it, but there's this little movie out called New Moon. It spawned from this so-called phenomenon called Twilight, which is about vampires, and wolves, and love - oh my! But perhaps just as popular as the series itself, is (one of the castmembers) 17 year-old Taylor Latuners newfound, testosterone-filled, adolescently ripped BUFFNESS that has cougars far and wide out on the prowl. And can u blame 'em?

Currently, 5 of my friends are all dating men/boys younger than them, with the newest member of CFC (Cougars for a Cause) being 28 and her cub being 23 - leaving a 5 year age gap, the same as me and my ex. Now seeing as the recently wedded Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are 10 years apart, 5 doesn't seem so bad anymore (at least that's what I tell myself).

However, the irony of it all is when I was younger I dated older men. 7 years older at one point to be exact. When I was in college, I would never give the time of day to my friends little brother and his friends because they were 19 when I was 21. And God forbid I even considered dating a junior when I was a senior in high school. That would've been social suicide! He's 16? I'm 17? He might as well have been an embryo. Yet nowadays, I consider 26-29 to be pretty much the same age. I always thought it was funny how the older people get - the slimmer the age gap seems to be. For instance; 18 and 23 sounds so much worse than 32 and 37.

But perhaps nobody knows this best than my very own mother, who be pullin 'em like Gabrielle Solis aka Eva Longoria in Desperate Housewives. At 48 she has said that the oldest she'd go for was 44. Yes I'll give u a few seconds to read that over again, it's coo. Reason being, she wants to be taken care of and not financially 'cuz although my mama ain't rich she holds her own. But basically, she ain't tryna give her man no damn sponge baths and shit. Lately, Ive been getting approached by much younger guys as well, but the reason I gave the last one a chance was because I just felt more comfortable around him than with his older male counterparts. This is a general statement as well. 'Cuz if I don't need to act like an adult, I won't. I want a cotton-candy machine and bouncey-house at my next birthday party for crying out loud! If a 33-year old man who was interested in me knew this, I feel like he'd adopt me as a kid instead of have me as a girlfriend.

However, it's still no wonder some women are hesitant in engaging in cougariffic relationships. Off bat, the man is looked at as a pimp and the woman like a ... well ... a cougar! Usually, (not always) the dude gets the good end of the deal: props from his boys, an experienced woman, stability, a trophy wife, a house to have sex in instead of a dorm room, etc. etc. Whereas all the cougar would get from her man is: stamina.

Unless of course - the cougar sinks her claws into true love. Which although is rare, has and does happen. I'd definitely like my next relationship to be with someone at least 25+ so I don't feel like such a cradle robber when I talk about New Edition or Saturday morning cartoons. But in a world where love is so hard to find, I say cherish it with whomever u do find it with. Whether they're 5 years older or 5 years younger. I personally think most men aren't ready to get married until their 30s when they've dun sowed their wild oats already and hairline starts to recede. But like I said, there's always that exception to every rule.

Unfortunately, there is no exception to the statutory rape rule. So Team Jacob cougars, no matter how u look at it, Taylor Lauter is still jail bait until Feb. 11, 2010. I know age ain't nothin but a number but yall seen what happened to R. Kelly.


Se7en said...

And honestly, I just see this cougar thing as trendy. Because up until now, every woman had wanted a man with stability, a nice job whom makes a good living, nice car, home, etc. You cannot tell me that most guys in their early 20's are going to have any of that.

I am not saying that it is wrong, I just think that it is fashionable to call yourself a cougar presently. It is almost as if women want to date younger men at this point for the "title" alone.

Well, I am sorry... but being 26, 27, 28... 30+ and "dating" a 20-21 year-old guy does not a cougar make.

It reminds me of when Desperate Housewives was so popular, every woman (basically) wanted to be at least one of the women on Wisteria Lane (there were even daytime talkshows that chronicled the subject - i.e. Oprah). But what most were forgetting was that these women are fictional characters.

I do not know how people do it. When I speak to younger females it just does not work - no matter how intelligent they are - there is just too much of an age gap.

And it is crazy when you speak of a song, movie, television show... historical world event, etc, and you say, "I was 15 and in high school when that happened," and they respond by saying... "I was in the 3rd grade."


I just see it as the typical Hollywood syndrome... people want to be Gabrielle Solis... women want to be Carrie or Miranda.

But no matter how true to life... those are characters.

It just boggles my mind really.

We want to dress, act, speak, etc, like these people. But knowing many of them, they are normal.

They play characters.

Basically, if I think a man is sick for lusting after a 15, 16, 17 year-old girl... well then I have to be fair in thinking a woman is sick when older, sees and speaks sexually about/of a 17 year-old boy.

Hate me for it but I am being honest.

I have friends who have 17 and 18 year-old sons. If a woman around their age seduced their sons who are the same age as Taylor?

Oh my goodness they would not like it and it would be on!

It is a trend to me.

"'Cuz if I don't need to act like an adult, I won't. I want a cotton-candy machine and bouncey-house at my next birthday party for crying out loud! If a 33-year old man who was interested in me knew this, I feel like he'd adopt me as a kid instead of have me as a girlfriend."

Not true in my opinion at all. 28 & 33???

No difference at all.


(Again, in my opinion only)

Se7en said...

I am on holiday (yes, I lived in London for nearly 4 years) and was speaking to someone just yesterday about Taylor when the subject of his age came up.

I swore he was 18... they said he was 17.

When I found out that he was only 17 I kind of became sick to my stomach.

Why? Because I know women in their mid-thirties to forties whom actually say the most vulgar things about him. I do not care if his body looks older he is still only 17.

Now place a 40+ year-old man in the same position... looking at a 17-year-old girl in the same manner... and he is going to end up the town pervert probably driven out of it by pitchforks and fire.

One of the women that I was speaking to about this has a daughter Taylor's age. When I asked her how she would feel about a man her same age having such thoughts/making such comments as she had expressed about Taylor to me... her honest response was that she would KILL any man who looked upon her daughter that way.

Double standard? Or should we just leave the lustful thoughts of teens their age alone?

And this cougar thing... there needs to be a clear definition of what a cougar is.

To me, a cougar is 40 and older. It (in my opinion) is not the age difference in whom you are dating/having sex with... it is the age itself.

But to hear women with children Taylor's age... or nearly Taylor's age... speak so vulgar about what is essentially a boy... well, it is weird to me.

Tell me if a man in their 30's-40's in your neighborhood/apartment complex/etc was even looking at a 17-year-old girl with lustful eyes, that he would not be labeled a pedophile and sick (and possibly even reported to the police and most definitely looked down upon by the neighbors - gossip travels fast).

Frankie said...

Lmaoooo I'm not a cougar yet but this post hella cracked me up. Boo for statutory rape & Taylor Lautner =(

Mouf.Peace said...

se7en ur absolutely correct as i was awre of this unfortunate double standard from the jump. just like me and my girl rach were talking about the big fuss over adam lamberts guy on guy kiss during the ama's. he got shunned, whereas madonna, britney, and christina's kiss on mtv was considered sexy to some.

the reality is: THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS. there are eminent double standards in society. i'm not saying it makes it ok, or that because they're there we should just adhere to them, i'm just sayin they're THERE.

can't really bring up fictional characters that women want to emulate like gabby or carrie (i would never want to be either one of them anyway. 1 let some dude treat her like an asshole for 10 years, the other couldn't do shit for herself) because well - HELLO we're talking about vampires and warewolves.

and perhaps, that's the thing. at least in my case. for the most part, if not all part, if that even makes sense - it's not real. it's all for fun. i talk about all the shit i'd do to edward cullen, but if u had robert pattinson in front of me? i'd probably start crying and run away. and i STILL know that's no excuse. because if some 30 yr old man was talkin about how he'd give the biniss to a 14 year old "just for fun" (shuddering just thinkin about it)it would not be acceptable. not even "for fun."

i'm team edward lol. and he's legal. but of course i've said some inappropriate things about jacob blacks role because he just seems exactly waht he is NOT REAL. so it gives the impression that i can get away with shit like that. in person though, i'd probably want to pinch his cheeks. again, i'm speaking for myself here.

and thank god i'm not considered a cougar then, 'cuz although i didn't hate the adj. i did NOT take it as a compliment.