Tuesday, October 6, 2009



I just got done watching this clip from an episode of Sex and the City. I own season 5 and 6, and the movie itself on dvd. Slowly going to complete my SATC collection. If u couldn't tell - I love the show. But after watching this clip I was reminded of how immature, crazy, and downright stupid Carrie acted sometimes. I couldn't help but literally laugh out loud and blurt, "What an idiot." Big was an asshole. Yet Carrie was in love with him. Been there, done that. But here he was, having one of his very FEW un-asshole moments where he was being honest with her and what does she do? Throw a goddamn hissy-fit and waste a perfectly good filet-o-fish. One thing many women ask for is honesty - yet when they get it, they act like this.

Now wonder men lie. Not that this type of behavior justifies dishonesty but SHIT, I understand completely. And yes, I can talk shit and say these things because I was exactly the same way. I once kept a guy that I was dating outside of my house and held him for hostage until he finally agreed to work things out, all while his car was double parked in the middle of the street. HELLO, as if that wasn't a big enough sign to tell me all he wanted to do was drop off my dvd and BOUCNE the fuck outta there. So when I yell at my screen while watching these old episodes of SATC, I'm pretty much yelling at myself. This is the thing. When I was in those unhealthy relationships I felt for some retarded reason that it was absolutely necessary to be dramatic. I felt that if maybe I yelled or screamed or made a scene - the person I was unecesarilly arguing with would magically agree with me and then the hot, passionate makeup sex would commence.


Shit just got worse and I ended up looking even more stupid than I felt. The screaming matches outside the club, the immature MySpace comments putting the triflin asshole on blast when really I was just puttin MYSELF on blast. God, I'm ashamed just writing about it. It was one thing to do it, understandable in fact 'cuz we do some crazy things when acting on impulse full of emotional adrenaline but what made it totally FOR SHAME was almost always I would give in and let this guy who I was just calling a loser back into my life. Just because I was the one calling him names and fighting I thought I was in control. But really, I was just giving him more credit than he deserved and making myself look bad. Now I know that I am sooo much better than that. Ladies - u are so much better than that.

If there's anything I've learned, it's u cannot make another person love u. U cannot force them to be with u. And there's no type of reasoning u can give to make them change their mind. Big was straight up telling Carrie the deal up there and whether or not he was being a coward and running away from how he truly felt, no woman OR man for that matter should ever get mad at someone just because they don't want to be with them.

Why would u want to be with someone who just flat out told u they didn't want to be with u anyway?

Carrie's a moron. Not necessarily because she threw her "le McDonalds" at the tv but because of the reason she threw it. Because Big told her not to uproot her life just for him and expect something in return. I think it was the most honest and fair thing he had ever said or done. Same reason Summer is not a villain in the movie, "500 Days of Summer." It's the same exact concept. So all u delusional men who gave me heat for that movie but think Carrie was acting irrational in that clip up there - take off the lace panties NOW 'cuz it's cutting off the circulation to ur brain.

OK. I'm going astray. My real point is, love, like, relationships, marriage, etc. etc. should happen on its own. When u force it, it either doesn't happen, pushes it away, or isn't genuine. But if u simply MUST act a fool ('cuz Lord knows the only way I learned was to fuck up first) please for the love of God, throw a dish or a vase instead. That way u can grub on ur burger on the way home from ur mans apartment after the fight and eat the pain away.


NiC-KIA said...

LMFAO! good points mamma!
u made me think...ALOT
I love my man to death, and Ive been in alot of relationships where i put up w/ the BS & the unnecessary drama because I felt the need to "win". I thought that if I could keep my cheating liar a$$ bf at home, i thought I was winning keeping him away from the "other girl". I had the myspace drama, the threatening phone calls, even the catfight! I wasnt winning. I cheated my damn self! NOW I know my worth! As a female, I hate to see my friends go thru the BS, cause i can tell when its happening, even when they cant. Finally I have been blessed, and GOD has sent me my angel.

-Darling Nikky of Tasteless Diamonds

PS...Do you have twitter?
you're ah pretty interesting piece!

Anonymous said...


Mouf.Peace said...

nic - well i'm glad u found ur winner! and yes. i have twitter. my friends made it for me. but i PROMISE i'm boring as shit on there lol. so don't say i didn't warn u. d00waditty is the username.

and rach, i bet that amen was for the not wasting food part huh? lmao!

Se7en said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Se7en said...

In response to NIC-KIA (and with all due respect of course):

From a male perspective, I can honestly say that there are plenty of times when the drama (as outlined above) has nothing to do with a man cheating, lying, being dishonest with himself and the one that he loves... or treating the one whom he loves with disrespect and taking him/her for granted.

Sometimes the drama comes from simple immaturity, and sometimes it comes from those whom like (and wish) to interject it.

They actually feed off of the so-called "passion."

(And just to be clear... so that there are no misunderstandings, I am in no way attempting to refer to your reply as my motivation for conveying the above)

In fact, many (though they might never admit to it) can simply not have a relationship without drama (Penélope Cruz's and Javier Bardem's characters in Vicky Cristina Barcelona anyone? That type of relationship very much still exists in the world and has throughout history - so it is absolutely nothing new).

What I am trying to say is that... to walk away from a "relationship" is easier said than done. But we must take responsibility for staying in the ones that do not live up to our own standards and expectations, and in which we are treated less than what we should settle for.

That can never, and should never... be placed upon the other person (as proven by you finding your angel).

I just feel that sometimes men get the "automatic yellow flag" (NFL reference) when it should simply be a case of us always looking to ourselves first.

If a man (or woman) mistreats you, is disrespectful toward you, cheats on you, lies to you, is abusive or controlling, will not commit, etc...

It that his or her fault...

Or is it ours for allowing us to be treated in such a manner?

People can be horrible, yes.

But we are the only ones who can allow such tolerance to occur in our lives.

I hope that you and your angel's love lasts a lifetime.


Se7en said...


I recall watching this exact episode within the last 6 months. Which is worthy to note since I have never watched an entire episode of Sex and the City in my life - I tried when it first premiered on HBO... then again at various other times throughout its run - but I honestly just could not relate.

(Which is quite odd because I relate to most things that are or associated with "women").

Anyway, what I do not recall is most of what I was thinking that night/early morning, yet I do remember [thinking] the following:

1. "Why is she [Carrie] over[re]acting?" (*Throws perfectly good fast food at the television* "I am SUCH AN IDIOT!")

And more importantly...

2. "Why do people make love and [subsequently] relationships... more difficult than they have to be?"

Could it be perhaps because we are so wrapped up in finding "The One" or our "Soul Mate" that we lose ourselves, and what we truly want and will stand for (and consequently also, will not stand for) along the way?

The sad truth is that most of us are:

a) Just learning to love (i.e. we do not yet know what it means to truly love and be loved - therefore we accept things that we later realize we should not).
b) Simply never satisfied.
c) Not sure of what we really want out of or from the other person.
d) In need of growth.
e) Falsely encouraged and motivated by the notion that the "grass is always greener."

Because if you have a man or woman whom you sincerely love, are attracted to on every level, whom treats you extremely well and genuinely loves you in return (and you know this without the slightest doubt)... and you decide to "call things off" because of something trivial such as... oh, I do not know... he or she not being affectionate enough (by your own standards) in public... well then, I have some sad news for you. If you let him or her go... the next person may give you all of the public affection you desire...

But they are [most likely] going to be lacking in some other area (perhaps trivial, perhaps not).

Sure, you may find the "perfect" person...

But chances are that you will not... for the perfect man or woman universally does not exist.

(Though you may very well find the perfect person for you)

Does this mean that you should settle?


But your expectations should not be set so high that you destroy what you had in love with who ultimately could have been "The One."

(And I know some of you reading this probably regret letting that "One" get away - I think most can agree that they already had found him or her - even if you only truly believe so at this stage in your life. And then you probably are just as quickly trying to make yourself believe that he or she was really not "The One" and that the real "One" will come along eventually - and for your sake I hope that this is true - but sometimes we make mistakes and we simply must live with them. It is merely a fact of life)

The lesson: Never take anyone [or anything truly good] for granted.