Monday, April 4, 2011

Joy/Pain Ride

He's not what you want, but he's exactly what you need ... right now.

Who knows how long you'll be able to detach your feelings from his embrace at night, but you figure you'll continue to spend time and have fun with him until the time you spend with him is no longer fun.

Because he feeds you, and makes you feel beautiful. He lets you hold his three fingers while you walk, and places his hand on your thigh when you rest your head on his shoulder. He takes care of you, and carries you from the couch to the bed when you're too tired to get up. He kisses, and hugs, and snuggles, and caresses, and knows exactly what position makes you explode.

And all the reasons you want to stay are all the reasons you want to leave.

Because you're five days away from your deadline. Four dates away from going off on him. Three clicks away from the "truth." Two strikes away from taking it back THERE. And one pitcher away from pouring your heart out.

But he's so convenient. And you're so lonely. And he's right there. Staring at you. Looking like a sexy motherfucker. Making you feel like it's the first date all over again. But it's not. And you already know. He's the wrong person at the right time. But he'll do, for right now.

So you guess you'll just go along for the ride. Until a shinier, more reliable car comes and swoops you up.

Or maybe you'll just fucking walk. You could use the exercise anyway.


ReptarParker said...

"So you guess you'll just go along for the ride. Until a shinier, more reliable car comes and swoops you up."

This is the kind of perspective I'm scared that a lot of girls (or people in general) have. It's very instant gratification, no patience. If someone isn't a great fit for you, I say you shouldn't let any of your energy, creativity, care and sexy efforts get used up. Especially when you know it's never gonna work out.

It's like all your feelings and efforts are an orange, the other person is a cup and dating somebody is like your orange getting squeezed. The wrong person has cracks in their cup, meaning all your juice is gradually leaking all over the floor and ultimately your feelings will have been a complete waste until your relationship is basically somebody yelling "Clean up on aisle 3."

But in 2011, people are tryna drink out of any cup. ):

Anonymous said...

I would "like" this if this was FB but it's not. So instead I'll "love" it on here.

Anonymous said...

Omfg! I feel like you are directly talking to me. I'm so going through this right now. I'm going through a painful divorce and this is exactly how I feel about a certain someone. It's sounds is horrible. Believe I know...

Mouf.Peace said...

reptar - yes, i agree. never settle. i believe what i described above is what america calls "dating," something u've seen me FAIL AT first hand lol. and "sexy efforts" i like that. it's gonna be track 2 on the candle wax bitches mixtape, holla!

ren - luh u!

anon - i could not even imagine how that feels. virtual hugs mama!

Anonymous said...

If you're keeping yourself distracted from the loneliness with the "wrong one", you will probably miss the "right one" if he comes along.

Anonymous said...

Wow Abi! How do you manage to say EXACTLY what I'm going through the preise moment that I'm going through it???

You have skillz. :)
Thanks for this, I really needed it!