Friday, April 2, 2010

This Will Only Take A Moment

The other day while getting lunch, I noticed an exhibit called "Hollywood Legends," inside of the Metreon. It was a collection featuring TV and movie memorabilia such as one of the dresses Judy Garland wore in the Wizard of Oz. And the first thing I thought was, "Aw, I wish I had a boyfriend to see this with."

Now don't get shit twisted. I am not one of those serial monogamist. I don't live to be in a relationship. I've only had 2 real boyfriends and didn't need fillers in between. I was single for years, and 75% of those years I absolutely loved it. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This was one of them.

Because one of the things that I miss most about being in a relationship is being able to share the things and experiences that mean the most to you with the person that means the most to you. And vice versa. As much as I advocate being selfish in certain aspects, nothing compares to the feeling of being completely unselfish with the people that deserve you in their lives.

Once upon a time, long ago, I had a boyfriend who was a musical beast. Everytime his fingers would touch an MPC machine, I swear it was certified fire. Even though it was just a hobby for him, I felt like Kanye West's mother (RIP) everytime he'd play me a track through the phone or call me into his make-shift studio in the garage to hear a beat fresh out the oven. I was a proud girlfriend. But most of all, I was an honored one. Honored, and happy that I was always the first person he'd share things like this with. I felt special because my approval and interest were always on his mind.

And whether it's something as monumental as landing a book deal, buying a new car, or finding a new apartment or something as seemingly insignificant as perfecting my standing bow pose, eating Bi-Rite ice-cream for the very first time, or beating a new level in rhythm heaven on MeThu, part of the pleasure I get from all these things is being able to share it with someone I love. Everyone has that one special person in their cell phone that they immediately go to upon hearing good news, bad news, coming home from vacation, or watching a YouTube clip so hilarious they feel the need to tell that person to watch it too. And currently, I don't have that one person.

But it's ok. Because I have 6 of them.

My "hexafecta" if you must lol. They're not the same kind of "special," but trust they still mean the world to me. So no need to Formspring me with encouraging words, or email asking if I'm OK (not that it isn't or wouldn't be appreciated). 'Cuz just a few days ago I was guilty-free relishing free drinks from guys that liked my "hat," and in 2 days I'll be hanging out at one of my boy-friends' spots in the East Bay and most likely sleeping over 'cuz I'm too lazy (or hammered) to drive home. And I won't have to check in, or explain myself to anyone.

Like I said, 75% of the time, I love being single. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This is one of them.

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