Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Stoner Snacks

Because I feel like shit and have not a single ounce of creative energy in my body, I'm reposting this from last September for all my potheads, happy 420 yall!

There comes a time in everyone's young adult life where they become curious. They want to experience new things and see the world with "different" eyes. They want to experiment. They want - to smoke weed.

I am not a stoner. And in no way am I encouraging the youth to lather on that herbal essence, but if God made dirt and dirt don't hurt ... then a nice bowl of weedies ain't too far behind! Drugs are bad! Bad I say! Buuut, if ur going to do them anyway I figured I'd help u out by suggesting some of the finest stoner snacks the world has to offer (if I'm missing ur favorite please do add it!).

Granted, when ur high as a kite almost everything tastes good. But I have gathered the following information with the help of only the most elite of my hydroponic connoiseur friends, so u know it's guaranteed to stimulate the mind and enhance those tastebuds (once u get rid of the cotton mouth of course). Now without further adieu ...

Trolli Peach-os and Apple-os as suggested by Digga
Because peaches and apples are supposed to grow on trees and be healthy for u, this combination of gummy goodness is almost blasphemous. And when ur high, u can try to figure out how they "grew" apples and peaches into those perfect little "o's".

Rice Krispy Treats as inspired by Amir
OK. Whoever invented this concoction must've been doneson.com. 'Cuz only someone headlining the Up in Smoke tour would take the advice of 3 little elves and mix cereal with marshmallows to create this sweet simplicity. Home made is best, but I wouldn't want ur high ass handling the oven.

Kettle Corn as suggested by Bad Aby and Kool-Aid
If I were a man, I'd say all things sweet and salty are good for u. But I'm not. So instead, I'll say not all things sweet and salty are are gross! Kettle corn by itself is already sheer awesomeness but pair it with some Kool-Aid (red flavor OF COURSE) and it's kinda like the blessed sacrament.

Cereal (preferbly CoaCoa Pebbles) as suggested by Gran-daddy Purp himself - Bomb Beezy
Cereal is kind of like the ultimate food. U can have it breakfast, lunch, OR dinner 'cuz Lord knows that's what I ate when I was either too broke to buy food in college or too lazy to cook period. So it's only right to have this on the list, there's just something about the sweet, unhealthy cereals that go so well with THC crystals. Just please remember to buy milk.

Ice-Cream as suggested by D
Does the dairy wonder even need an explanation, as if it didn't already solve all of the universes problems? And u may not think u can, but trust me, u'll finish a gallon in NO TIME so don't even think about grabbin one of those dinky little pints.

And lastly, my personal favorite Flaming Hot Cheetos w/ Cream Cheese
Ebony and Ivory. Yin and Yang. Sonny and Cher. There's just some things that aren't quite the same without the other. I can honestly say that I've never tasted Flamin Hots until I tasted them with cream cheese. I don't know a single product of public school system who did not feast on this beanery line classic during lunch in middle school or high school.

And just for kicks, my all time favorite YouTubes under the influence:

Death? That's don't even sound attracted!

I think ... I think I'm Dead


P.S. Forget about "Dude Where's My Car," or even, Smoky and Craig. The biggest stoners of all time are obviously Scooby and Shaggy. Hellooooo. They never know what's going on, smokes always coming outta their magical hippie van, they're always paranoid, and DUHHH they always hungry!


gailey said...

i dont smoke but if i did... this is what i would eat (hahaha)

Marshmellow Flavored Popcorn! SO GOOD! ( http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51hAqc%2BnJCL._SS500_.jpg )

and cheetos puffs!

DJ CMC said...

being a former stoner...here a few snacks that me and the compadres snacked on while hanging out over teh Highway 13 overpass.
-this one time we were soo hi n hungry, we took some mac n cheese n mixed in a can of tuna...BOMBDIGGITY!
-safeway fried chicken, slighlty cold, but crispy
-fruit roll ups
-anything off the jackenthebox menu (we once bought everything off the menu)
-spoon of peanut butter
-1/4 Giant Burgers N fries...so greesy u can see thru the bag!
-and last but not least....pancakes with bacon on top!

ashley sade said...

i burn throughout the week soooo.. my faves are cracker nuts (that fob shit thas maga somethin), snickers ice cream bars, mcdeez dolalr menu, tuttimelon or any wannabe pinkberry spot, oh! and buffets FTW!

Mouf.Peace said...

omg ashley i HELLA know what u talkin about those crunchy shells with the peanuts inside right? and they even got adobo flavor and shit. yes yes YESSS haha.

krisYEE said...

you should've taken a picture of all my snacks!!