Growing up I've always been told to fight for what u believe in. Whether it be equal rights, dreams, world peace, happiness, or ur right to parrrrrrr-tay. Perhaps out of all fights worth fighting for, we are told that the most beautiful struggle of them all is the one for love. But I believe the fight for ur heart is an entirely different war. One where everyone gets hurt, and the minor cuts and scrapes feel just as critical as a knife through the heart. And no sword and shield, or camouflauge and M16 can prepare u for this type of battle.
It's not the strapping up or patriotic speeches that send me into disarray. Nor is it dodging bullets that I fear. It's the knowing when to fight and when to surrender part that makes me weary. Because really, how the fuck do u know?
Hate to say it, but I can be extremely nosy at times. I probably know more things than I should. About people I don't even know. While I'm not particularly chissmossa about this shit, it's still a bad habit I need to get rid of. One thing I've noticed though is the followwing unfortunate pattern amongst females (strangers, acquaintances, and friends alike):
1) Boyfriend cheats on girlfriend.
2) Girlfriend publicly cusses out the "other" woman as well as her man.
3) Girlfriend ends up staying with her man.
4) Lather rinse, and repeat about 3-5 more times.
5) Finally, the boyfriend gets tired of fuckin with chicken heads and eventually wifes up his main.
And if it's not cheating it's something else. While I am relieved these men finally came around and give credit to these females for standing by their man, I can't help but ask myself, "Why did he have to fuck up 5 times when he should've acted right from the jump?" "Why be proud of being his main, when u should be his only?"
"When is enough, enough?"
There's a fine line between being a ride or die chick, and just being a dumb ass who allows herself to continuously get disrespected. Because growing up, I was also told to be the bigger person and walk away from a fight, especially one not worth it. But when are u "bowing out gracefully," as opposed to simply "giving up." How do we determine whether or not the fight is worth it? When do we know to hold on and when to let go?
Some say it's when u become indifferent. Some say u just know. Me? I have no idea. Shit. I fight with myself almost every day.
But I will say this. The next time ur at war, take a good look around and pay close attention. If ur all alone on that battlefield. If nobody's standing frontline with u. If u seem to have lost sight of what it is ur even fighting for to begin with, it's probably time to retreat ... or at the very least think of a new strategy plan. 'Cuz when it's real, u shouldn't have to fight so hard.
I was aware of Sade's new album but hadn't heard the Soldier of Love single 'till about 5 minutes ago and it's officially on repeat for the rest of the day. The blog totally wasn't inspired from it (I was actually debating on Soldier of Love or Gangster for Love but went with the war theme) but I'll take it. Sade's tax evading ass needs to come back to the Bay for a concert.