Public Enemy #1

When I was in high school, one of my best friends got into her very first fight with her boyfriend. I was there when they first met, I was the first to know they were official, and the first she called and screamed to when the DEED WAS DONE. Naturally, I was the first person they wah'd to when they were frustrated with each other.

So there I am, stuck in the middle with my angry homegirl pacing back and forth next to me and her man talkin my right ear off on the phone. I forget what started the fight, but I do remember ultimately ending it. I told her to stop being so unreasonable and him to stop provoking her.

Sure, my girl was pissed at me for a good 13 mins 'cuz I sided with the enemy but I told her that if I went in biased, nothing would ever get resolved ... and they probably wouldn't be getting married this Saturday (about fucking time yall! lol).

Yet, despite my objectivity and genuine concern for the well being and happiness of my folks, growing up I was always public enemy #1 to most of my girls boyfriends. Always thought to be a cock blocker just because I didn't roll over and die when shit hit the fan. Considered a "hater" 'cuz I saw something wrong with my girls boyfriend having cyber sex with his ex and wasn't afraid to call it how I saw it. *BLANK FUCKING STARE* I've learned to mind my own biniss when it comes to my friends relationships but if I'm asked, I'm telling - straight with no chaser. So if you don't want to be called a douche, don't act like one.

'Cuz what you don't see is me checking my girl when she's being impossibly ridiculous. You're not there when I'm playing devil's advocate and pointing out all the possible angles of a situation when she's convinced it's all your fault. You're not there when I know my girl dun fucked up and I'm letting her know. You don't see me pulling down her skirt when she's sloppy at the club and it's riding up for all the boys to see. You're not there when I'm giving her the side-eye for being overly "friendly" with the guy that likes her at work. And you don't hear me when I say, "He's a good guy. He loves you. Be honest with him," etc. etc. etc.

Girls like me aren't the enemy. We're just not on your side. But we're not on her side either. We're on love and respects side. Because really? We don't want our girl to break up with you. We don't even want our girl single. We just want her HAPPY, and so should you.