How do I gauge my friendships?
Mostly by how much shit we can talk about each other TO each other, and how effortless it is to give them my last piece of pandesal bread pudding and say I love you right after. Because while friends agree on a lot, real friends aren't scared to disagree.
One thing that me and one of my girls disagree on is playing it "safe," as eloquently stated by my other girl Rach, here. And basically what it boiled down to was this: I must stray away from my "type" in order to be treated well.
Now before you all roll your necks in agreement, let me tell you what my "type" is:
Has his shit together.
These are the things that attract me to someone, but not the things that will win me over. But obviously, you don't really know someone until you really get to know someone. Having said that, fuck you AND your mom if those three things up there translate to the "type" I should stay away from. 'Cuz I refuse to go out with a guy that I'm not attracted to with zero personality that has 2 kids from 2 different baby-mamas and does nothing but play Halo all day on his moms couch.
I refuse to believe that just because someone says "fasho," or wears Jordans that I should stay away from them. Now if he says fasho, wears Jordans, and tries to fuck every thing with in a hole in it at the club OK FINE. But if I thought an English professor that wore Vans was cute and made me laugh, I'd still give him a chance even if he didn't know a single song off of Reasonable Doubt.
I'm all for keeping an open mind and straying away from the typical. I'm not so stupid as to give my number to the good looking party promoter that looks like T.I.'s twin who cheated on his last 5 girlfriends thinking that I'll be "the one" to change him, but I refuse to settle with the boring guy who doesn't make me happy who I have to force myself to have sex with because I know he'd never cheat on me.
I think the stigma is, society has equated stereotypical "cool" people as being "bad" people. And "nerds" as being the "boring nice guys." (the definition of "cool" and "nerdy" is up for interpretation but hopefuly you get the gist of what I'm saying anyway.) And while this can be true for the most part, it doesnt' have to be. While it's probably wishful thinking, I'd like to think that if I exist - then so does HE.
Because the truth of the matter is, a "good" guy can still fuck up. Because he's just a man, he's still human. Nothing less, nothing more. And an "asshole" can be a good guy - WHEN HE WANTS TO BE. Ultimately, I'm a nice girl with some nice dreams. But that doesn't mean I haven't made some poor decisions in life, nor does it mean I won't make anymore.
So while I should probably stay away from good looking guys (and when i say good looking i don't mean the obvious, because not everyone has the same taste. i'm just sayin men i think are good looking) that I dunno ... play football and drive Camaro's, I'm not. Because if I can give the guy who's into Star Wars and mobs in a smart car a chance, I can give the "other" guy one too.
Because I'd want someone to take a chance on ME.