Life-Recruiter

Today should've been a typical Wednesday. I mean, it started out like any other humpday.

Alarm. Snooze. Alarm. Wah. Snooze. Alarm. aklsjdflkjsdlf. Shower. Lather, rinse, repeat. But then - instead of dawning my usual Vans, jeans, Hellz tee, and putting my hair in a messy bun, I reached in the back, back, I'm talking The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe BACK of my closet for the only pair of slacks I own, threw on a blazer, put on some heels, and brushed my mufuckin hair (happy Christian?) because I had a meeting with a job recruiter during lunch.

At exactly 12:10, I left work, then hopped on the train to Montgomery. Got off and walked 2 blocks in the wrong direction, to walk back and find out it was the right direction. I'm telling you, this is all very typical of me lol. So I'm finally in the recruiters office, a hot mess, face all red, armpits sweating (typical, typical) but with 13 minutes to spare, whew.

I then met Jamie, a typical looking white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing cute shoes, whose outfit oozed Banana Republic, and overall look screamed "Hi, I'm from the Marina District." But what happened next was not so typical.

If our meeting was an actual interview, I definitely would've bombed it. And I probably would've left the building crying. She tore my resume apart, said I didn't get paid shit (ok, so not in those exact words, but whatever, tell me something i don't know), and then ... AND THENNNN she said, "YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO HUMBLE."

I'm sorry, huh?

Me and my girls joke around all the time, trying to out-conceit each other. In hindsight, I thought the key to life was to remain humble so as to stop my ego from being my +1 at clubs and weddings. Have I been lied to all this time? Have I been had??!!! No, not at all. I've just been comfortable. Stagnant. Unmotivated. Scared. And call it being "humble" all you want, but I've just been downright MEAN to myself. More than being my worst critic, I've been my worst enemy. I've been typical Abigail, not giving myself enough credit, always doubting myself, and dumbing myself down so as to not create high expectations from other people.

Jaime looked at me and said, "Snaz up your resume, and then we can go forth from there. Sell yourself with confidence so you can make the money you want, the money you deserve." And then the sun shined, the clouds parted, and doves flew in the air like a John Wu movie. And just like that, my typical Wednesday became not so typical. I left feeling empowered, because I knew I had so much more to offer than just those administrative skills on my resume. Not just in the work field but in LIFE. For my friends, for my family, for my boyfriend, and most of all for myself.

So moral of the story is, NEVER SELL YOURSELF SHORT. Never be the loudest one in the room, but make some damn noise for crying out loud! And never settle for less because you're scared of the possible greatness that can come from aiming for and achieving the absolute BEST. Otherwise, you'll end up with that second rate broad just because she was "safe." Or you'll end up married to a man you're not in love with just because you're scared to be alone. Or you'll end up unhappy, and un-inspired in a typical administrative job for 5 years of your life just because it pays the bills - when the world knows and you know, you are far from TYPICAL.

Good Morning

My phone kept going off at 7:45 this morning (come on now, yall know I don't wake up before 8!!!) and just as I was about to throw that shit across the room, I noticed these picture texts. My fave!!! Thanks for remembering, u are excused lol. Nice way to start the day, now if only I can find my fucking parking ticket so I don't have to pay for a full day ...

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OMAHGAH OMAGAH OMAGAH. I just thought of an idea that's got me as excited as OJ Simpson on his 8th birthday. But lemme not jinx myself just yet. I'll keep yall updated ;) lskjfklsjdfljsdflsdf.

"Before you point fingers, make sure your hands are clean"

~Bob Marley

Say What?! - Weekend Recap

• My weekend was filled with with a lot of extracurricular activities that still have me sore today. I wish I was able to take pics from Fridays JumpSkyHigh festivities (OMG SO MUCH FUN) but I didn't wanna lose my phone and knowing my luck, I would've. Next up? Skydiving!
• I was up 'til almost 6am listening to drunk people stories, and even though I didn't get up 'til 12pm I was still sooo tired. Thankfully I was able to summon up enough energy to "get up, get out, and do somethin" 'cuz it was a gorgeous day at the lake! You'd never guess it rained cats and fucking dogs the next day. No, seriously I think I saw a Doberman drop from the sky and land on the car in front of me it was pouring so hard.
• Was supposed to go bar hopping Sat. night but I didn't want to drink so that would've been pointless. Plus, after eating this at Rach's, along with a plate of Kim Chee beef friedr ice, followed by 2 glasses of Moscato, it was pretty much a done deal.
• P.S. I think it's so adorable Adonis does this when he's ready to sleep. Kids always have their sleeping habits, I still do mine.

• Last night I had a dream that I was walking around and everything I waved my hand over turned into chocolate. I specifically remember passing by this stroller, waving my hand over it, and it turning into M&Ms. The funniest part is the last text message I received before I fell asleep said "Sweet Dreams." Sweet dreams indeed. What a fat ass *smh*
• cow-ard -noun 1. a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.

Single to None

Upon posting this blog, I've gotten a few messages from readers who were surprised that I was single. I sometimes get the same reaction from people in person too. They always ask me "Why?" or "How?" as if I'm supposed to be in a relationship. I think this is funny, and a little strange especially when just a year ago people were shocked as shit to find out I had a boyfriend lol.

My girls think I'm single because I'm scared. My boys think I'm single because I'm picky. My mom thinks I'm single because she swears no one will ever be good enough for her "little girl." And for the longest time I thought I was single because I was crazy. Because I was unworthy, because I didn't deserve to be loved. Because I was dysfunctional and stupid.

And then one day I woke up and realized I'm single ... because I choose to be. DUH.

Because I don't need to get under someone just to get over someone else.

Because I can handle being alone.

Because sometimes, dudes can't handle having a beautiful, intelligent, funny, caring, outgoing, and talented girlfriend that gets along with everyone because other people notice she's all of these things too.

Because I don't settle. And this has absolutely nothing to do with looks or money.

Because I don't need to be put on a pedestal by someone else just to validate everything I should've already known.

Because quite honestly, I wouldn't know how the fuck to act in a relationship right now.

And most of all, because when it comes to having a boyfriend - I DON'T PLAY. I make sure it feels right. I make sure it IS right. I make sure I'm not in a relationship, just to BE in a relationship. I make sure I'm not just filling a void my past boyfriends have left behind. I make sure I'm ready. That he's ready. That WE'RE ready. I make sure it's not just some rebound. Not just for "fun." Not just "there." Not just someone to fill the other side of the bed. Not just someone to help me get over the last guy.

Because when it comes to having a boyfriend, I will do everything I possibly can to make the relationship work and make him happy so I want to make sure he's worth it. And sure my judgement may be off sometimes, but you also have to take risk. Because you never know unless you try. So if me being single gets mistaken for me being scared, or picky, or snobby - well then I guess I rather be all that. 'Cuz the last thing I want to be, is in a relationship just because I don't want to be single.

Suffocate

Have you actually ever experienced the feelings behind these lyrics? You should try it out one day. It's scary and amazing all at the same time.

"'Cuz I can't breathe when you talk to me,

Can't breathe when you touch me,

I suffocate when you're away from me,

So much love you take from me, I'm going outta my mind ..."