The Situation

It used to be that when you asked someone if they had a boyfriend or girlfriend, they either said "yes," or, "no." But I'm finding out more and more that one can never ask a simple question and get a simple answer. And when we do, we're more inclined to question it's validity than take it for face value. Because nowadays, the refreshingly blunt and honest "yes," and "no" have been replaced with, "It's complicated," or my personal favorite, "I'm in a situation."

*crickets*

The thing is, by them not saying yes or no, it makes you wonder. It leaves shit open for interpretation. And a part of you wants to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it really IS complicated?! Maybe it's like the Mike Sorrentino of situations?! See all that shit already sounds like some unecessary drama. Well interpret this.

You ever see a magician at work? See how they wave a magic wand around, light shit on fire, and do a whole bunch of unecessary, exaggerated arm movements just to take a playing card from out behind your ear? Well motherfucker all they're really doing is pulling a fast one on your ass and distracting you from the truth: They got an extra card conveniently tucked in their sleeve. So if the person you're interested in says they're in a "situation," please allow David Copperfield to take their act elsewhere.

'Cuz all a situation is, is someone that a person shouldn't be with but just can't seem to leave. Either because they're scared, they're stupid, they're in love, or scared stupid in love. Take your pick. And usually, all "It's complicated," means is "I live with my ex-girlfriend whose really my girlfriend when she's in front of me but I still wanna make out with you without having to pay rent" lol. Or maybe, they're "just not that into you," and that was their way out without ruining any future potentials.

OK, so maybe I'm exaggerating. Or maybe I'm not. Either way, if you don't want to be referred to as a "complication," or "situation," then you shouldn't want to be involved in one either. Sure, shit gets complicated but it's only as complicated as we make it. What's tackier than fist-pumping, Affliction wearing, spray-tanning juice heads? LIARS. Especially the ones that lie to themselves. 'Cuz really? It's either you have a girl/boyfriend, or you don't. Simple as that.

*Editors Note* BTW, if upon acknowleding the "situation" you still wanna proceed ... I completely understand lol. But don't say I didn't warn ya!