You would think that the older you get, the less time you'd waste getting into a relationship. Because years of experience has given you the ability to immediately determine if the man or woman in front of you has the potential to make you happy and is worthy of your love. But while it is now easier for me to distinguish exactly what I want and more importantly don't want in a partner, I find myself being more cautious than ever.
WTF right? My biological clock is supposedly ticking, I'll be attending my third wedding of the year next month, and instead of visiting friends over happy hour, I'm now visiting them and their new baby over formula and diaper changes. So then what gives? Why the urgency to ... wait all of a sudden?
I remember the last relationship I was in. I was so scared to be touched. I was foreign to compliments, and it was extremely hard for me to accept gifts. It took at least 5 dates before I'd even let him put his arm around me, and nearly 4 months of getting to know each other before finally allowing myself to be his girlfriend. This wasn't because I was confused or playing hard to get. He knew he had me. I just. Wanted to make sure it was all real. That I was ready, that WE were ready. And everything felt right.
'Cuz after all the damage of past relationships have been done, and the lessons have been learned - the more you realize your self worth and all you have to offer. So you're careful of who you give yourself to, and you take your time. You take it nice and slow. To enjoy their smile. Their face. That euphoric feeling everytime you see their name pop up on your cell phone. You take your time getting to know him. You carefully go over the curves of her face. What makes them smile. What makes them laugh. You hold onto their kisses good night. Why rush? You wanna make that "new" feelings last and last. And when it's real, and ready, and everything is right? It Wil.