The last time she cried over him was ... probably ... that one time when ... damn, she couldn't remember. She smiled, 'cuz before, she couldn't remember the last time she wasn't crying over him. Getting over him was too easy. Getting over what he did to her on the other hand? Was not. Either way, it didn't matter. Or at least it shouldn't have. But she had just found out that the guy who had strung her along for months with broken promises and manipulation, was now having a baby with the woman he had denied even dating. How could she not feel something? Anything?
She had always been honest, and always been the bigger person. But she didn't feel like being that person right now. For her to sit there, secretly congratulate him in her head and wish him the best of luck would've been downright absurd. Not to mention FAKE. For her to say she was happy for him would've been a lie too. And she wasn't a liar. Not like him. But ... oddly enough, she didn't hate him either. She didn't wish for the baby to have 12 toes, 3 nipples, or a horn in the middle of his forehead. She never even wished for them to break up. She had never wished anything ill upon them. And this drove her crazy. She wanted to hate him so bad, but alas, she knew she couldn't even if she tried.
'Cuz what she wanted most was NOTHING AT ALL. To simply be indifferent. But the unsuccessful "anonymous" Facebook messages she continued to receive from her and her friends talking shit were a constant reminder of a past that would've been otherwise easy to forget. She was over it, why weren't they? She wasn't sad about it, not even mad. To say she was annoyed might've even been and overstatement. It was just all unecessary, and quite frankly she felt embarrassed for them. She just didn't get it.
Her MTA train came to a halt and her thoughts were interrupted by the conductors voice, and the chime of her cellphone gaining reception once again. She looked down and smiled.
Text #1: Hey beautiful, don't let 'em work you too hard. See you tonight.
Fuck, there he goes again pulling that beautiful card!!!
But it was Text #2 that made her smile even harder. She read it once more then shook her head and stuffed her phone back into her purse with a smug look on her face.
'Cuz you should never, EVER let the girl who doesn't give a flying 747 about you know how much she affects your life.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone ;)