Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter!
I know so many people who after 40 days of lent are finally going to get to drink alcohol/soda, eat rice, smoke cigarettes, and go shopping. I hope everyone has a blessed Easter Sunday.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Zae
How I keep from hanging myself with my mouse cord at work. Have an awesome weekend everyone, in about 2 minutes I know I will!
Battle of the Bay
Pre-Game @ O'Neils
Jager-Bomb for the road
Lower level, We'll always have the best park.
That was supposed to be his "no homo the churro" pose.
Deep throatin my first sheboygan lmao.
My road dog during the game.
The seagulls were reppin hard lol.
We may not always win, but I'm a die-hard orange and black fan 'til the day I die. It's more than a fashion trend, I've been attending games before I could even pronounce players names. Gigantes por vida pinche puta.
This Will Only Take A Moment
The other day while getting lunch, I noticed an exhibit called "Hollywood Legends," inside of the Metreon. It was a collection featuring TV and movie memorabilia such as one of the dresses Judy Garland wore in the Wizard of Oz. And the first thing I thought was, "Aw, I wish I had a boyfriend to see this with."
Now don't get shit twisted. I am not one of those serial monogamist. I don't live to be in a relationship. I've only had 2 real boyfriends and didn't need fillers in between. I was single for years, and 75% of those years I absolutely loved it. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This was one of them.
Because one of the things that I miss most about being in a relationship is being able to share the things and experiences that mean the most to you with the person that means the most to you. And vice versa. As much as I advocate being selfish in certain aspects, nothing compares to the feeling of being completely unselfish with the people that deserve you in their lives.
Once upon a time, long ago, I had a boyfriend who was a musical beast. Everytime his fingers would touch an MPC machine, I swear it was certified fire. Even though it was just a hobby for him, I felt like Kanye West's mother (RIP) everytime he'd play me a track through the phone or call me into his make-shift studio in the garage to hear a beat fresh out the oven. I was a proud girlfriend. But most of all, I was an honored one. Honored, and happy that I was always the first person he'd share things like this with. I felt special because my approval and interest were always on his mind.
And whether it's something as monumental as landing a book deal, buying a new car, or finding a new apartment or something as seemingly insignificant as perfecting my standing bow pose, eating Bi-Rite ice-cream for the very first time, or beating a new level in rhythm heaven on MeThu, part of the pleasure I get from all these things is being able to share it with someone I love. Everyone has that one special person in their cell phone that they immediately go to upon hearing good news, bad news, coming home from vacation, or watching a YouTube clip so hilarious they feel the need to tell that person to watch it too. And currently, I don't have that one person.
But it's ok. Because I have 6 of them.
My "hexafecta" if you must lol. They're not the same kind of "special," but trust they still mean the world to me. So no need to Formspring me with encouraging words, or email asking if I'm OK (not that it isn't or wouldn't be appreciated). 'Cuz just a few days ago I was guilty-free relishing free drinks from guys that liked my "hat," and in 2 days I'll be hanging out at one of my boy-friends' spots in the East Bay and most likely sleeping over 'cuz I'm too lazy (or hammered) to drive home. And I won't have to check in, or explain myself to anyone.
Like I said, 75% of the time, I love being single. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This is one of them.
Now don't get shit twisted. I am not one of those serial monogamist. I don't live to be in a relationship. I've only had 2 real boyfriends and didn't need fillers in between. I was single for years, and 75% of those years I absolutely loved it. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This was one of them.
Because one of the things that I miss most about being in a relationship is being able to share the things and experiences that mean the most to you with the person that means the most to you. And vice versa. As much as I advocate being selfish in certain aspects, nothing compares to the feeling of being completely unselfish with the people that deserve you in their lives.
Once upon a time, long ago, I had a boyfriend who was a musical beast. Everytime his fingers would touch an MPC machine, I swear it was certified fire. Even though it was just a hobby for him, I felt like Kanye West's mother (RIP) everytime he'd play me a track through the phone or call me into his make-shift studio in the garage to hear a beat fresh out the oven. I was a proud girlfriend. But most of all, I was an honored one. Honored, and happy that I was always the first person he'd share things like this with. I felt special because my approval and interest were always on his mind.
And whether it's something as monumental as landing a book deal, buying a new car, or finding a new apartment or something as seemingly insignificant as perfecting my standing bow pose, eating Bi-Rite ice-cream for the very first time, or beating a new level in rhythm heaven on MeThu, part of the pleasure I get from all these things is being able to share it with someone I love. Everyone has that one special person in their cell phone that they immediately go to upon hearing good news, bad news, coming home from vacation, or watching a YouTube clip so hilarious they feel the need to tell that person to watch it too. And currently, I don't have that one person.
But it's ok. Because I have 6 of them.
My "hexafecta" if you must lol. They're not the same kind of "special," but trust they still mean the world to me. So no need to Formspring me with encouraging words, or email asking if I'm OK (not that it isn't or wouldn't be appreciated). 'Cuz just a few days ago I was guilty-free relishing free drinks from guys that liked my "hat," and in 2 days I'll be hanging out at one of my boy-friends' spots in the East Bay and most likely sleeping over 'cuz I'm too lazy (or hammered) to drive home. And I won't have to check in, or explain myself to anyone.
Like I said, 75% of the time, I love being single. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This is one of them.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Hate That I Love You
Most people can't wait to hate a person, in hopes that the anger they feel will replace the pain. In hopes that eventually, the hatred will replace the love. So they think of each and every fucked up situation the other person put them through. Every hurtful word that came out of their mouths, and the times when they should've said something but walked away instead. They search, and search. For something. Anything that will stop them from wanting to drown in a sea of their own tears and instead start using a picture of their face for target practice.
And this works for most people. But I am not most people. And "hating" someone, even if they deserve it, takes up too much energy. You are giving that person more credit than they deserve.
So I say, look forward to loving that person instead. In hopes that the love will replace the pain. In hopes that eventually, love will replace every ill-feeling you painstakingly held in your heart. Until it no longer hurts you to love them, until it no longer kills you to miss them. Until you can think about him or her and be thankful for, instead of regretful of the time you had together. Until you are no longer numb, but instead - indifferent.
And I know you're not ready right now. You're still holding onto that rock in the middle of the ocean when all the people who love you are back at shore waving, and cheering for you to swim on over. And I know you're still angry, as you have every right to be. All of that is perfectly fine. But just know that for every minute you spend attempting to hate someone, is a minute you could've spent loving someone else - that someone else being yourself. 'Cuz like they say, "It's easy to hate, but it takes courage to love." And when you finally let go of that rock and decide to swim back to shore - you'll realize you are one of the most courageous people you'll ever meet.
You'll also realize that that ocean was only 3 feet deep.
And this works for most people. But I am not most people. And "hating" someone, even if they deserve it, takes up too much energy. You are giving that person more credit than they deserve.
So I say, look forward to loving that person instead. In hopes that the love will replace the pain. In hopes that eventually, love will replace every ill-feeling you painstakingly held in your heart. Until it no longer hurts you to love them, until it no longer kills you to miss them. Until you can think about him or her and be thankful for, instead of regretful of the time you had together. Until you are no longer numb, but instead - indifferent.
And I know you're not ready right now. You're still holding onto that rock in the middle of the ocean when all the people who love you are back at shore waving, and cheering for you to swim on over. And I know you're still angry, as you have every right to be. All of that is perfectly fine. But just know that for every minute you spend attempting to hate someone, is a minute you could've spent loving someone else - that someone else being yourself. 'Cuz like they say, "It's easy to hate, but it takes courage to love." And when you finally let go of that rock and decide to swim back to shore - you'll realize you are one of the most courageous people you'll ever meet.
You'll also realize that that ocean was only 3 feet deep.
He Said, She Said
[10:33] Him: fuck
[10:33] Him: im in love with justin bieber
[10:33] Him: no homo
[10:33] me: dude, im sorry but there is no way u can NO HOMO that comment
[10:34] Him: its a girl right?
[10:34] me: lmao, nice try
[10:33] Him: im in love with justin bieber
[10:33] Him: no homo
[10:33] me: dude, im sorry but there is no way u can NO HOMO that comment
[10:34] Him: its a girl right?
[10:34] me: lmao, nice try
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